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Peace....


There are many men and women who believe that good sex happens when the participants are skilled lovers. This idea leads some of us to experiment with different sexual positions, or acts. Sometimes these things work to enhance love making, however, I personally believe that while sexual technique has it's place, it is secondary to other elements which many men miss.

There are many women who rarely reach climax when love making despite the best efforts of their partner...Some women resort to faking an orgasm to avoid damaging the ego of their partner, or simply to make the man stop...This is very unfortunate for her..

Is there more to sex, than technique? Can a man be completely unskilled, and still bring his women to a climax?

I say yes....

I say that under the right circumstances, a women can be brought to a state of sheer ecstasy without technique...In some cases it could require less than a touch....

Well before I continue, I would like to know what others think.



Kai
________________________ By the sun and his brightness! And the moon when she borrows light from him! And the day when it exposes it to view! And the night when it draws a veil over it! And the heaven and its make! And the earth and its extension! And the soul and its perfection!-Surah 91 Holy Qur'an
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I don't want to drag in my 'soap-box' of the LOVE-making concept. But I will give an honest assessment. When their is 'love' present, a 'climax' isn't necessarily required. Before people start swinging... I'm going to make a mad dash...

In the opposite direction.

I think without love, a climax is required, for the most part. So (if I may), I'll custom fit the question, Does good sex require skill?
Ima take a stab in the dark and say YES. Can a man be unskilled and bring his woman to a climax? I say NO.
To me sex is like a dance. Someone has to take the lead. A man must be skilled at following or taking the lead. If he isn't skilled at either, there will be toe-stepping, head butting excuse me's flying all over the place.

Let's say she tolerates this awkward dance long enough to stumble into a climax. The climax wouldn't be very good, as a matter of fact it wouldn't even be worth mentioning.
Is "love making" equivalent to sex?

If so, good sex requires skill. Not necessarily physical skills/technique. Especially if the subject is restricted to bringing a woman to climax (not sure men can climax without nary a touch), because sex is sort of the ending for us. A large part of whether or not we have an orgasm depends on the length and intensity of the foreplay (the mental and physical teasing and tenderness and the being alternately indulged and ordered about and I've got to get the hell out of this thread... laugh). Effective foreplay can last anywhere from a few minutes to months before the sex takes place. The sex takes us over the edge.

So, yes, IMO skill and technique are required.
Skill and tech are required but so is communitcation.
It's the woman's body, I really wish that all women would take a note from men and masterbate (yep I said it), then this would really help the men to know for sure what the heck women really want done to satisfy them ( besides properly packing the dishwasher).

Frenchy there is nooo way that I am spending months on foreplay as that would put me over the edge.
quote:
Originally posted by Kai:
Is there more to sex, than technique? Can a man be completely unskilled, and still bring his women to a climax?

I say yes....

I say that under the right circumstances, a women can be brought to a state of sheer ecstasy without technique...In some cases it could require less than a touch....

I'm going to agree with you here Kai, in a sense. Good sex does require skill, but that skill is 90% mental and only 10% physical. Something about women that many men never realize is that their most powerfull sexual organ is their brain. If a man skillfully stimulates a woman's brain, her body can and will do amazing things without much more help from him. Ok, I'm stepping out of this thread now, before I get myself into trouble...
quote:
Originally posted by Kai:

However, I personally believe that while sexual technique has it's place, it is secondary to other elements which many men miss.

There are many women who rarely reach climax when love making despite the best efforts of their partner...Some women resort to faking an orgasm to avoid damaging the ego of their partner, or simply to make the man stop...This is very unfortunate for her..

Is there more to sex, than technique? Can a man be completely unskilled, and still bring his women to a climax?

I say yes....

I say that under the right circumstances, a women can be brought to a state of sheer ecstasy without technique...In some cases it could require less than a touch....
Kai



Great points and questions being asked here!
quote:
Originally posted by Kai:
Peace....


Is there more to sex, than technique? Can a man be completely unskilled, and still bring his women to a climax?

I say yes....

I say that under the right circumstances, a women can be brought to a state of sheer ecstasy without technique...In some cases it could require less than a touch....



Kai


I am not too sure about that one! I guess it is possible to bring a lady to an orgasm without any decent amount of skill but I will argue that such a case is in the ranks of the rare category. Good lovemaking requires a good deal of communication, a fair amount of anatomical knowledge (I have heard that a good deal of men seem to not where certain areas of the female genitalia such as the clit is located...sad)as well as patience and a willingness to learn and be taught. These attributes are generally acquired with time but are quite neccessary for mutually good lovemaking...that's my two kobo!
quote:
Originally posted by Kai:
Is there more to sex, than technique? Can a man be completely unskilled, and still bring his women to a climax?


Personally, I cannot enjoy sex unless I am in a satisfying relationship. I've had great sex that of course resulted in a climax, but it wasn't because of the person's sexual skill level. I was able to have an orgasm because during these times the relationship was filled with the most sincere love, caring, and compassion. This is the stage to which most people refer to as the "newness" stage. Once the relationship ages, however, regardless of your sexual skill level, your relationship to this person gets tested. Therefore, I think a person's sexual skill level can only take one but so far. In time, a relationship will require both partners to bring something to the table other than sex skills.



"The paradox of sex is that the same act can both liberate and imprison, depending upon one's intent, state of mind, and conditioning. Sex can drive you either towards or away from Enlightenment. The great enigma is, how can we transform the trap of addictive physical appetite to the ecstatic realization of Divine Union? "

---quote taken from a website....

quote:
I don't want to drag in my 'soap-box' of the LOVE-making concept. But I will give an honest assessment. When their is 'love' present, a 'climax' isn't necessarily required. Before people start swinging... I'm going to make a mad dash...

In the opposite direction.

I think without love, a climax is required, for the most part. So (if I may), I'll custom fit the question, Does good sex require skill?
Ima take a stab in the dark and say YES. Can a man be unskilled and bring his woman to a climax? I say NO.


Please excuse me if this seems a little insensitive, but your words seem like they are designed to console someone who has failed to connect properly with their partner.

Love is multidimensional. We may passionately love someone in one dimension, and be repulsed by them in another. Love making may occur in the dimension where we do not find our partner very attractive. We still love them...



Kai
quote:
Originally posted by Frenchy:
Is "love making" equivalent to sex?



Good question. Not necessarily. Completely casual sex has different rules.

quote:
If so, good sex requires skill. Not necessarily physical skills/technique. Especially if the subject is restricted to bringing a woman to climax (not sure men can climax without nary a touch), because sex is sort of the ending for us A large part of whether or not we have an orgasm depends on the length and intensity of the foreplay (the mental and physical teasing and tenderness and the being alternately indulged and ordered about and I've got to get the hell out of this thread... ).


Interesting. I will not disagree with you assessment, I will disagree with your view of time. Perhaps everything that usually takes hours, or months, can be acheived in a very intense moment. If sex is the end game, then perhaps one adept at the game will find a more direct route to checking his mate.

quote:
Effective foreplay can last anywhere from a few minutes to months before the sex takes place. The sex takes us over the edge.

So, yes, IMO skill and technique are required.


Once again, effective foreplay can happen in the check out line at the local grocery store.

There is something primal which I am aiming at....

It is my belief that the most explosive forms of intimacy are not the result of practice or planning, but the result of sincerity, and appreciation.

More later when time allows...

Peace.


Kai
quote:
Originally posted by Kai:
It is my belief that the most explosive forms of intimacy are not the result of practice or planning, but the result of sincerity, and appreciation.

I know you weren't speaking to me, but I have to comment anyway.

I have to disagree with you here. Those explosive forms of intimacy that you are refering to are the result of both practice and planning, and sincerity and appreciation. Women are complex creatures with many buttons. If you push them all, you get explosion. If you only push a few, then not so much... Cool
quote:
Originally posted by Kai:
Is there more to sex, than technique? Can a man be completely unskilled, and still bring his women to a climax?


Wow ... this was really a tough one! I had to actually use a couple of brain cells to come to a conclusion! Big Grin

But, at the end of the day, I would say yes, there's definitely more to sex than technique. And, no, a man cannot be completely unskilled and still bring his woman to a climax!

There's a definite difference between making love and sex ... whether casual or not! Two people in love can still have sex. Big Grin But, as the fellas have already stated, so much of a woman's physical satisfaction is mental stimulation, and a man who has no (physical) skills, more than likely cannot have the mental skills to know what to do, how to do it and do it right! Even if he doesn't use those physical skills to cause her to have an orgasm (although an orgasm without touching anything doesn't really seem possible to me), he needs to know something about it to understand the end result he's trying to produce.

Then again ... I've never actually had a virgin! So, who knows?? laugh
Peace....


Black Viking wrote:
quote:
I'm going to agree with you here Kai, in a sense. Good sex does require skill, but that skill is 90% mental and only 10% physical. Something about women that many men never realize is that their most powerfull sexual organ is their brain. If a man skillfully stimulates a woman's brain, her body can and will do amazing things without much more help from him. Ok, I'm stepping out of this thread now, before I get myself into trouble...



Yep....

A very powerful stimulus...Will trigger a very powerful response...



Kai
Peace....


Rowe wrote:
quote:
Personally, I cannot enjoy sex unless I am in a satisfying relationship. I've had great sex that of course resulted in a climax, but it wasn't because of the person's sexual skill level. I was able to have an orgasm because during these times the relationship was filled with the most sincere love, caring, and compassion. This is the stage to which most people refer to as the "newness" stage. Once the relationship ages, however, regardless of your sexual skill level, your relationship to this person gets tested. Therefore, I think a person's sexual skill level can only take one but so far. In time, a relationship will require both partners to bring something to the table other than sex skills.


In the beginning of most relationships, their is an over abundance of sincerity, caring, and passion. as Black Viking has indicated, these elements feed the quality of intimacy. In the beginning, the slightest caress, or a gentle stare, can arouse a partner. Once we become common with one another, we tend to replace the mental stimulants, with physical ones...And so enters physical skill and all of the pressure associated with a good performance.

Kai
yes... confidence, caring and caressing and intimacy, a genuine desire to please your partner ...as well as experience.

Frenchy, XXGAMBITXX and Black Viking are on the money!

tfro

quote:
Effective foreplay can last anywhere from a few minutes to months before the sex takes place. The sex takes us over the edge.


quote:
"Natural Talent" will only go so far. Mess up with her once in the bedroom and you're chances of a repeat happening are slim to "oh hell no!".


quote:
Something about women that many men never realize is that their most powerfull sexual organ is their brain. If a man skillfully stimulates a woman's brain, her body can and will do amazing things without much more help from him.


...however, it's not a topic I want to think about much more right now. bump
.
quote:
Originally posted by MBM:
But can a man make a woman climax with no skill and a little weiner? lol


not a combination I'd like to experiment with to find out... Wink
however....
both bodies could be luscious, and amply proportioned, both lovers skilled, athletic and experienced... but if both partners are not in the moment then it's more like a whack on the head with a wet fish.

If you hear what I'm saying. Big Grin
Peace....



quote:
I am not too sure about that one! I guess it is possible to bring a lady to an orgasm without any decent amount of skill but I will argue that such a case is in the ranks of the rare category. Good lovemaking requires a good deal of communication, a fair amount of anatomical knowledge (I have heard that a good deal of men seem to not where certain areas of the female genitalia such as the clit is located...sad)as well as patience and a willingness to learn and be taught



I guess male gynecolgists have an advantage when it comes to knowing the female anatomy...But I have never heard of women flocking to them for sex...


I think male staying power..ahem.. has alot to do with it, after that I think it is determined mostly by how much passion is brought to the occasion...If clothes are being ripped off, and kisses are delivered like the one kissing requires the others lips for air..Then i think skill will not be necessary...


Kai
quote:
Originally posted by MBM:
But can a man make a woman climax with no skill and a little weiner? lol


I don't know about this "little weiner" thing. I don't "want" to feel this way, BUT. . .

. . .a "little weiner" would be a complete turn off. Now, I'm not sayin' he's gotta be built like a horse [to be appealing], but atleast have an average size penis.

Hey, I have small-to-mid size breasts and there are men who prefer women with large breasts. . .

. . .but you don't see me cryin' about it.

A "little weiner" just wouldn't do it for me.

Eek
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