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Do women do more dumping in a relationship than men? I believe that they do.

Why is this? Are guys the ones that are more emotional in the relationship and can't let go? Or some other reason? Discuss.

Just letting you know...I might be a little subjective about this topic.

I think there are a couple of reasons for this. I've been victim recently, that's for sure.

1) I believe Men invest more in relationships than Women. We have to do the work to go out and get them, and *usually* we end up planning the majority of the events, and on the "special days" we are the ones that have to set it all up (Valentines, Anniversary, her Birthday, etc.). For that reason, believe it or not, it's easier for us to get attached to our girls. We have invested more in them.
Women usually have men to hit on them if they are decent looking and aren't total *****es. That doesn't happen to us, we have to go out and do the hitting.

2) This media culture of "Sex and the City" bs, and overly romantic movies are making this game even harder for us. I've found that a lot of women think that love is this mythical thing that just "happens", and that they will feel it regardless of how a guy acts, what he does, and what type of person he is. Mr. Right will come along, and their heart will be filled with a non-existent feeling of wonder that will never dissipate! Because of this new media, Women think that "Mr. Right" will solve all their problems, and that they will always feel safe and secure and they can live happily ever after, without a care in the world. Even though these women logically *know* and can vocalize that this "overly-romantic" crap isn't how it is. Somewhere deep down, this is what they are looking for. So they go through guy after guy, dropping decent guys, because they can't accept the fact that the feeling of excitement of the "new relationship" isn't going to last forever. And if they WANT a guy who will really take care of them, and will let them be independent at the same time, they need to grow the **** up, and open their eyes. Unfortunately, some guys that are strong and confident, and have distinct and worldly life goals, get burned because of these women. Why? Is it because we unknowingly fall into REAL love with them, while they are too childish to even know what that means? I am not saying that all women are childish...it's just some believe that this excitement phase can and will last forever.

Now we can split girls into two categories:

1) The ones that are mature enough to realize that love is something that GROWS, not something that "just happens". It's something that is deep, and doesn't last forever unless you are willing to WORK. Then, when a quality guy comes along, they can appreciate all the things that he does for her, how strong he is, how independent and driven he is. They realize that these things are where love starts. Then after the infatuation dies down, they don't give up. They can still see the man that they are dating, even though the initial "feelings" have died down. They can move in a more mature love.

2) Then you have the girls who believe that "Sex and City" is reality, and that there will be a guy that will come along, sweep them off there feet, and they will just have this everlasting feeling, that will never go away called "love". They've seen too many Hollywood dramas, and have unrealistic expectations from their men. They believe that if a guy can't come along and all their problems don't disappear, then he's not the right guy. These are the girls that are sweet, caring, thoughtful, but will break your heart every time.

I would also like to add that the man has to appreciate and love his woman as well.


WHICH GROUP MOST WOMEN BELONG TO?
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quote:
Do women do more dumping in a relationship than men? I believe that they do.


I would agree. There are quite a few men who don't like to hurt anyone's feelings, so they do things to make the relationship unbearable and "force" the woman to dump them. I think that alone drives up the number of female dumpers.

quote:
WHICH GROUP MOST WOMEN BELONG TO?


I don't think we'll ever be able to answer that. There are women who are pragmatic about love and women who are idealistic. I don't think either one is a bad thing as long as you are with someone who views love the same way.
quote:
WHICH GROUP MOST WOMEN BELONG TO?


It depends on 2 things: some girls/women never move out of group 2. But it does take time and life experience for anyone to move into group 1. It be fair, it has to be said that lot of girls stay in group 2 thanks to the thoughtlessness and bad treatment by men.

Ronin, it's hard to be philosophical when the pain is still raw... but the relationships that cause hurt or disillusionment are the ones that help you either grow and evolve or curl up and die inside. They are the 'training ground', if you like, for the real thing.

I tend to find that if a person - of either sex - has never experienced real selfless love (as opposed to romance) then they never quite believe it exists and tend to get stuck in the romance cycle. The icing not the cake.

I think a lot has to do with timing - not just who you meet, but where both you and they are 'at' in their own lives. Two people can meet and be really attracted, really good friends, fall for each other, etc. but if they are emotional polar opposites then it just won't work.

It can be very hard when that happens. I guess it does happen for a reason though.

I read somewhere that romantic love has a cycle of 2 years. Which probably explains why a lot of relationships and marriages fall apart around that time.

Everything of value requires effort, and you are right about working on relationships to keep focus, keep the magic and the friendship. If the love is there, it will stay there. It's all the other day-to-day challenges that need the most effort.

Remember that people who don't appreciate other quality people usually don't appreciate much of anything anyhow. If you get what I'm saying?
MHO anyway.
[QUOTE]Originally posted by ronin10:
Do women do more dumping in a relationship than men?

Oh without a doubt. We are conditioned to expect it actually. Every gender has its "role". Life trying to imitate art.

I can count on one hand the number of times I've "dumped" a woman (including my ex wife). And everytime that happend, it was just dumb luck that enabled me to do it first. Todays relationships need a serious overhaul (thats on both sides) but this fairy tale notion of a "knight in shining armor" stuff has really got to stop. Hell even in medieval times the knight was not all that! How do we men compete with "Hitch" or "Must love dogs"? We can't, so the dump scenario increases. Then people wonder why EVERYONE is bitter and jaded when it comes to intamacy and relationship building. I dont mind being dumped but let there be a good and logical reason for it..........
I believe its an even split, when it comes to dumping. Most women will tell a man its over, but most men allow the relationship to run its course, until she gets the 'hint'. (hes scared of getting beat down lol)

Ronin you mentioned this...

"Now we can split girls into two categories:

1) The ones that are mature enough to realize that love is something that GROWS, not something that "just happens". It's something that is deep, and doesn't last forever unless you are willing to WORK."

This really has to do with the maturity level of the person. (man/woman). When youre ready and willing to be in a decent relationship.......you already know, its going to take a lot of work to keep the relationship healthy/happy.

I would think, this is a reason why a lot of people are single. Confused
We're talking about 'good' men here right...'cuz plenty of guys out there have no problem with leading a lady on in order to hit it and quit it.

I feel like it's even too, because alot of men cringe at the word committment. To know they always have a way out seems to be refreshing to some.

On the other hand, many women are very inconsiderate and extremely picky. I know many women who have dumped a man for reasons that make no sense to me.
What I mean is we all have problems in a relationship but it looks like most of us men persevere at it and try our hardest to make things work. We don't simply give up as our women seem to do as suggested in this post. I think recklessly rushing into divorce as suggested by the statistics and from comments from this post is reprehensible behaviour.

If women for whatever reason want to break up and be single, then by all means they should get on with it and stop complaining when reality catches up with them. People have to learn to take responsibility for their actions.
All of you guys/ladies bring up some excellent points!

Frenchy,Qty,artgirl: I understand what you ladies are saying... I just I never looked at it from a woman's point of view. True, I understand that the idea of love has to match up between the two people in the relationship.


However, I believe that women are the ones that try not to hurt feelings. If the woman doesn't want the relationship with the guy, she will try to force him to break it off with her...then becomes annoyed when he doesn't get the picture. It is similar to the guy that likes the girl but the girl only views him as a friend scenario. She will NEVER really tell that guy that she does not like him in a romantic way, yet she will indirectly do things so that he will get the hint. If he doesn't get the hint, and continues to pursue her or try to keep the relationship going, she becomes annoyed. Though not all women do this, and some men do use this indirect "not into you", "break up" technique, I feel a majority of women are indirect.

I also understand that a lot of men can be even worse...avoiding the woman, dropping out of sight, etc.

Anyway, I was just very curious to find out which sex does most of the dumping. I would guess that after reading the responses that it is probably even. Nevertheless, for some reason, I will always see the woman doing the dumping first.
I agree that the act of dumping of the opposite sex occurs roughly on an equal ratio. I have had a few cases where I actually dumped the girl simply because the relationship was strictly an one-sided relationship and my soul wanted out. In my jaded experience, I do not believe in trying to remediate a relationship that is doomed to die especially if the other partner is both the primary offender and the one suggesting that the relationship continue inspite the obvious.
sometimes dumping is neccesssary in order for the disadvantaged ones to separate oneself
from a hopeless scenerio.
I am not PROMISCIOUS. Let me state that upfront but I have dumped more than I have been dumped. The one and only time I was dumped, I was caught off guard and didn't realize we were at the end of the relationship. Looking back, I knew the relationship was in trouble but as "women" do, I wanted it to work so I worked harder. So when he said, "I'm gone" and walked out the door, I slammed the door in an effort to send the message as he was walking away, "Thank GOD, its over!"

I must say, I have had unrealistic expectations from my men. Yes, I want to be the center of his universe. I need him to rescue me from all my troubles. Also, I want the passion we share to be unmeasurable. Hmm, I think this is the fiary tale of "Knight in Shining Armor" that most women wish for. But, on the realistic side I know the differenct between infautation, love and love that is contantly growing.

I know a couple that I have been together for over 20 years. A group of us friends were playing cards at this couples house while the husband was out. The door bell rang, and the poor wife announced, "Its probably my husband." as she spilled her drink all over her cards and when she was walking towards the door she tripped over the cat. As she was picking herself up off the floor, she confessed, "He still excites me." We all laughed.

I belong to both groups!
quote:
Originally posted by Diamond:
I am not PROMISCIOUS. Let me state that upfront but I have dumped more than I have been dumped. The one and only time I was dumped, I was caught off guard and didn't realize we were at the end of the relationship. Looking back, I knew the relationship was in trouble but as "women" do, I wanted it to work so I worked harder. So when he said, "I'm gone" and walked out the door, I slammed the door in an effort to send the message as he was walking away, "Thank GOD, its over!"

I must say, I have unrealistic expectations of my men. Yes, I want to be the center of his universe. I need him to rescue me from all my troubles. Also, I want the passion we share to be unmeasurable. Hmm, I think this is the fiary tale of "Knight in Shining Armor" that most women wish for. But, on the realistic side I know the differenct between infautation, love and love that is contantly growing.

I know a couple that I have been together for over 20 years. A group of us friends were playing cards at this couples house while the husband was out. The door bell rang, and the poor wife announced, "Its probably my husband." as she spilled her drink all over her cards and when she was walking towards the door she tripped over the cat. As she was picking herself up off the floor, she confessed, "He still excites me." We all laughed.

I belong to both groups!
quote:
Originally posted by ronin10:
All of you guys/ladies bring up some excellent points!

Frenchy,Qty,artgirl: I understand what you ladies are saying... I just I never looked at it from a woman's point of view. True, I understand that the idea of love has to match up between the two people in the relationship.


However, I believe that women are the ones that try not to hurt feelings. If the woman doesn't want the relationship with the guy, she will try to force him to break it off with her...then becomes annoyed when he doesn't get the picture. It is similar to the guy that likes the girl but the girl only views him as a friend scenario. She will NEVER really tell that guy that she does not like him in a romantic way, yet she will indirectly do things so that he will get the hint. If he doesn't get the hint, and continues to pursue her or try to keep the relationship going, she becomes annoyed. Though not all women do this, and some men do use this indirect "not into you", "break up" technique, I feel a majority of women are indirect.

I also understand that a lot of men can be even worse...avoiding the woman, dropping out of sight, etc.

Anyway, I was just very curious to find out which sex does most of the dumping. I would guess that after reading the responses that it is probably even. Nevertheless, for some reason, I will always see the woman doing the dumping first.
I THINK RONIN HAS A GOOD POINT BUT I WANTED TO SAY THAT I HAVE BEEN AROUND FOR AWHILE, AND I KNOW LOVE CAN MAKE YOU DO SOME CRAZAY THINGS. MEN, SEES AN RELATIONSHIP AS GETTING TO KNOW THEM, WHAT THEY ARE ABOUT, BUT I WOMAN TENDS TO SEE THIS SEXY MAN THAT THEY NOT ONLY WANT TO KNOW, BUT FANTASIZE ABOUT BEING THE HUSBAND. I NOTICED IN MY DATING YEARS WOMEN TEND TO FALL FOR THE "WOO". LADIES WE ALL KNOW WHAT THE WOO IS RIGHT. FOR THE GUYS THAT DON'T KNOW, THE "WOO" IS THE FLOWERS, CANDY, POEMS, ROMANTIC EVENINGS, ROMANTIC LETTERS, AND SO ON THAT THE MAN DOES TO GET THE GIRL, AND I HAVE NOTICED WHEN THEY GOT THE GIRL, THEY STOP THE "WOO". GUYS, WOMEN LOVE THE "WOOING", WHY STOP?i THINK THIS HAS ALOT TO DO WITH A WOMAN WANTING TO DUMP A GUY. THEY SEE THIS ROMANTIC MAN IN THE BEGINNING, AND WHEN THE MARRIAGE BEGINS, ALL THEY SEE THE MAN SITTING ON THE LOUNGE CHAIR WAITING FOR THE WIFE TO BRING HIM A BEER. ha ha I THINK WE ARE IN AN AGE THAT IT IS OKAY FOR A WOMAN TO PURSUE A MAN, IF SHE SEES WANT SHE WANST.
quote:
Originally posted by Frenchy:
quote:
Do women do more dumping in a relationship than men? I believe that they do.


I would agree. There are quite a few men who don't like to hurt anyone's feelings, so they do things to make the relationship unbearable and "force" the woman to dump them. I think that alone drives up the number of female dumpers.


I agree with both sentiments.

I get pissed off at many of my male friends when they complain about being dumped. If they look at how they treated her once they got tired, they'd see that in fact they dumped her long before she made it official.
quote:
Originally posted by EbonyRose:
quote:
Originally posted by Romulus Burnett:
Never been dumped. Not even once.


You do know your nose is going to start to grow, don't you? munch


Seriously. Never been dumped.

Now I've had a couple chicks here and there act like they weren't interested in me but that was because they were on a childish tip. They'd never been finessed by a man--they were used to dumb dude tricks. You know--the kind of dudes that think they gotta have 'game' to win a female yet have no substance or originality to them.

It's funny--I've dated some chicks that thought I wasn't their type and blew their damn minds. Unfortunately for them they found out why they were intimidated by me.

But as far as dating and moving into a full fledge relationship I've been the one to do the dumping.
quote:
willing to be in a decent relationship.......you already know, its going to take a lot of work to


I've done most of the dumping.. but it was always for unnacceptable behavior, like cheating or extreme neglect... which basically means I was the one making it 'official'...

I've found over the years that if I'm in love with someone, it must be 'killed' for me to want to end it.

I have been broken up with... and it was always for another woman/other women that they were already cheating with... and they highly regretted it...
quote:
Originally posted by shulamite:
quote:
Originally posted by Romulus Burnett:
But as far as dating and moving into a full fledge relationship I've been the one to do the dumping.


That's an oxymoron. And explains a lot...


No. It's not an oxymoron. It's called natural progression--going from casual dating to deciding to become an exclusive, monogamous couple.

If I decide not to become serious with a woman beyond casual dating, then that is my choice not hers. If she decides she doesn't want to see me on a casual basis it's because she's not getting what she wants not the other way around. She's free to go. No harm done. There's plenty of fish in the sea.

Not that I would be so cold and callous as to string a woman along but if I encounter a situation where I'm just not feeling that woman on that relationship level it doesn't mean I'm going to throw her in the trash can. There's nothing wrong with casual dating especially if the participating woman understands that we're just casually dating.
Why does the phrase "player hater" come to mind?

Negroes that haven't walked one inch in another man's shoes and think they have the clairvoyancy and omniscience to critique somebody.

The only thing that's worse than that is a buncha cowards that don't offer a shred to a to a thread but they're waiting for anyone else to step up to the plate to speak their mind so they can criticize someone else. The fuck outta here with that cowardly bullshit.


Let's go even lower under the belly of the lizard--negroes that make ignorant little reverse child psychology remarks as a response to being called out for their foolishness. You have something to offer to the thread other than some sideshow, prankish, back of the classroom, class clown, obnoxious, teenage cynicism, then drop your comments. Otherwise, find another thread to act like Bevis and Butthead.

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