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I was recently speaking to a 34-year-old African American man who revealed that he had never had a relationship with a black woman before (all his previous relationships have been with white women). He said that while he had always wanted to have a relationship with a black woman, he found it extremely difficult to meet black women who were not religious. He gave me the impression that it was virtually impossible to meet a black woman who wasn't obsessed by the Church/ Bible. Is this an accurate observation about African American women or is he just exaggerating? (I think he was making excuses!!!)
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Where in America was this guy from? What are his views on religion? Is he atheist/agnostic or is he just not religious?

Not that I'm implying anything by looking for more info. Undoubtedly this is a guy who prefers white women, but doesn't want to admit it. These guys like to make up excuses about the black women, when it's really just that they don't want to be with a black woman.
I think he is making up excuses unless he lives in Montana or some Alaskan outpost. I am curious as to where it is that this man was born and raised, what part of the country? I have a cousin (really more than one) who were raised and schooled in predominatly white areas/schools, etc., and they only date white women, but it was not like they lived in a part of the country where their were very few Black people living, etc., in my opinion, it was their choice (at least mostly, after their parents virtually steered them in only the direction of white women, and probably purposely steered them in any direction AWAY from Black women).
(The family joke is that the only Black women that they know are the ones that they are related to).
quote:
Originally posted by sunnubian:
in my opinion, it was their choice (at least mostly, after their parents virtually steered them in only the direction of white women, and probably purposely steered them in any direction AWAY from Black women).
(The family joke is that the only Black women that they know are the ones that they are related to).


Question: Why would Black mothers do this(if that's what you are saying...I'm assuming cuz you said "parents"? And what is their rational or feeling about sons who don't want women that look like them?
quote:
Originally posted by Vox:
Where in America was this guy from? What are his views on religion? Is he atheist/agnostic or is he just not religious?

Not that I'm implying anything by looking for more info. Undoubtedly this is a guy who prefers white women, but doesn't want to admit it. These guys like to make up excuses about the black women, when it's really just that they don't want to be with a black woman.


He was from Alabama - born in Alabama, then moved to Michigan as a child, then went back to Alabama as a teenager. He went to school in predominantly black settings but also some mixed settings.

With regard to his views, I think he was agnostic - he wasn't a strict atheist or anything like that.
quote:
Originally posted by sunnubian:
I think he is making up excuses unless he lives in Montana or some Alaskan outpost. I am curious as to where it is that this man was born and raised, what part of the country? I have a cousin (really more than one) who were raised and schooled in predominatly white areas/schools, etc., and they only date white women, but it was not like they lived in a part of the country where their were very few Black people living, etc., in my opinion, it was their choice (at least mostly, after their parents virtually steered them in only the direction of white women, and probably purposely steered them in any direction AWAY from Black women).
(The family joke is that the only Black women that they know are the ones that they are related to).


See my previous post for answers to your questions.
quote:
Originally posted by Oshun Auset:
quote:
Originally posted by sunnubian:
in my opinion, it was their choice (at least mostly, after their parents virtually steered them in only the direction of white women, and probably purposely steered them in any direction AWAY from Black women).
(The family joke is that the only Black women that they know are the ones that they are related to).


Question: Why would Black mothers do this(if that's what you are saying...I'm assuming cuz you said "parents"? And what is their rational or feeling about sons who don't want women that look like them?

__________________________________________
Answer: If a Black mother has housenegroe mentality, then, it is highly possible, even if it is done unconciously (however, I doubt that is unconciously). If you surround your children by nothing but white people all of their life and purposely limit the contact that they ever have with Black people, then how could it be anything else? Unfortunately there are a lot of Black people that still believe that anything white is better, or the better way, or the better education, or the better neighborhood, or the better whatever, and they want their children to have the best, so if they believe that anything white is the best, they are going to put their children smack in the middle of it all, and then what other influences will those children have, what opportunities do those children have to co-mingle with other African Americans when they are never around any?
And what do you think will make a housenegroe prouder than to be able to tell the world that their son/daughter is dating, married to somebody white. Housenegroes are not just males, or black males.
"He was from Alabama - born in Alabama, then moved to Michigan as a child, then went back to Alabama as a teenager. He went to school in predominantly black settings but also some mixed settings."
__________________________________________
Then he IS fronting. If he is from Alabama especially, he is lying and for whatever reason just does not want to admit that he prefers white women.

Also, as far as religon is concerned, I don't see African American women being any more or less religous than any other American women.
34 and never dated a black woman. I think He's lying. Was he flirting with you, if so then it's game. If he's not lying (which I know he is)(Alabama... come on)then he probably started dating white women way to early, and now he can't relate with the sista's, and because he can't relate he can't date.

Anyhow, Sisters don't know how to celebrate there man. I left my last baptist girlfriend for a buddhist chinese girl. Wasn't cause she was too religous either. It's because the chinese makes me feel like I was a national holiday everyday. I feel bad because my ex is a good woman, strongest woman I ever met. For some strange reason, I just like being celebrated.
quote:
Originally posted by HeruStar:
34 and never dated a black woman. I think He's lying. Was he flirting with you, if so then it's game. If he's not lying (which I know he is)(Alabama... come on)then he probably started dating white women way to early, and now he can't relate with the sista's,

"and because he can't relate he can't date."


Anyhow, Sisters don't know how to celebrate there man. I left my last baptist girlfriend for a buddhist chinese girl. Wasn't cause she was too religous either. It's because the chinese makes me feel like I was a national holiday everyday. I feel bad because my ex is a good woman, strongest woman I ever met. For some strange reason, I just like being celebrated.



"And because he can't relate, he can't date'.
That's great! If the glove do'nt fit, you must aquit! rotfl!!!!!

But, I especially 'appreciated' this, "It's because the Chinese make me feel like I was a national holiday, everyday.....For some strange reason, I just like being celebrated".

Awesome! if brazenly egotistical lol! You deserve being treated the way you feel you should be treated.
quote:
Originally posted by HeruStar:
Anyhow, Sisters don't know how to celebrate there (their??)man.
bs
quote:
I left my last baptist girlfriend for a buddhist chinese girl. Wasn't cause she was too religous either. It's because the chinese makes me feel like I was a national holiday everyday...
When the chinese new year is over, what happens then? Do you move on to the next ethnic group that makes you "feel good"?
quote:
I feel bad because my ex is a good woman, strongest woman I ever met. For some strange reason, I just like being celebrated.
Let me get this straight... you left a good, strong, religiously grounded, Black woman, because she did not make feel like you were on a "national holiday" every day??? If that was the only reason, you ain't too bright.
quote:
Originally posted by AudioGuy:
quote:
Originally posted by HeruStar:
Anyhow, Sisters don't know how to celebrate there (their??)man.
bs
quote:
I left my last baptist girlfriend for a buddhist chinese girl. Wasn't cause she was too religous either. It's because the chinese makes me feel like I was a national holiday everyday...
When the chinese new year is over, what happens then? Do you move on to the next ethnic group that makes you "feel good"?
quote:
I feel bad because my ex is a good woman, strongest woman I ever met. For some strange reason, I just like being celebrated.
Let me get this straight... you left a good, strong, religiously grounded, Black woman, because she did not make feel like you were on a "national holiday" every day??? If that was the only reason, you ain't too bright.


lol
I never said that was the only reason. They were both pretty evenly matched, the celebrating thing just slightly tilted the scale.

I love our women foremost. As a matter or fact when I get the chance, I'm definitely going to write a book on the Caananite women. The women that I think were probably the sexiest women alive. They had to be, because the Jews couldn't keep their hands off of them, even though they were forbidden; right after Noah cursed Ham by saying that his children were going to be black and ugly


7) The origin of the Negro race was from Ham (the son of Noah) seeing his father naked in the Ark and laughing about it. Noah got drunk and forgot to cover his nakedness. Ham came in and saw his father, then made a joke of it to his brothers. His brothers told their father Noah, and when Noah awoke he cursed Ham's firstborn son (Canaan) and their descendants to become the slaves of the descendants of the other sons of Noah (Japheth and Shem--Europeans and Semites), and Noah is said (by the Talmudists) to add:


"'Canaan's children shall be born ugly and black. Moreover, because you [Ham] twisted your heard around to see my nakedness, your grandchildren's hair shall be twisted into kinks, and their eyes, red; again, because your lips jested at my misfortune, theirs shall swell; and because you neglected my nakedness, they shall go naked, and their male members shall be shamfully elongated.' Men of this race are called Negroes; their forefather Canaan commanded them to love theft and fornication, to be banded together in hatred of their masters and never to tell the truth..." (Babylonian Talmud Sanhedrin 108b, see also Hebrew Myths: The Book of Genesis, 1983, p.121)



If anyone doesn't think that black women are the most influential women on the planet, then read Genesis and see how hard it was for a Jew to remain a Jew, when he couldn't resist the Canaaite woman. Abrahams dying will was that his son did not marry a Canaanite Woman.

So yeah, believing all this probably makes me "not that bright". And your right, the celebration is going to have to end soon.
I've signed no contract, so what's the problem?
quote:
Originally posted by HeruStar:
7) The origin of the Negro race was from Ham (the son of Noah) seeing his father naked in the Ark and laughing about it. Noah got drunk and forgot to cover his nakedness. Ham came in and saw his father, then made a joke of it to his brothers. His brothers told their father Noah, and when Noah awoke he cursed Ham's firstborn son (Canaan) and their descendants to become the slaves of the descendants of the other sons of Noah (Japheth and Shem--Europeans and Semites), and Noah is said (by the Talmudists) to add:


"'Canaan's children shall be born ugly and black. Moreover, because you [Ham] twisted your heard around to see my nakedness, your grandchildren's hair shall be twisted into kinks, and their eyes, red; again, because your lips jested at my misfortune, theirs shall swell; and because you neglected my nakedness, they shall go naked, and their male members shall be shamfully elongated.' Men of this race are called Negroes; their forefather Canaan commanded them to love theft and fornication, to be banded together in hatred of their masters and never to tell the truth..." (Babylonian Talmud Sanhedrin 108b, see also Hebrew Myths: The Book of Genesis, 1983, p.121)


Damn! This racist $*%@! is still believed?! Eek

Since it is proven Africans are the original people on the planet...How were we white and later turned Black as a curse?

This entire B.S. is based on the idea tat the original state of man is to have pale skin...I hope you don't believe that still...

The Babylonian Talmud is an addition to the Helio Biblio during the Babylonian period of exile...You know, Babylon the GREAT WHOAR?..yet another corruptive period in the history of the Helio Biblio...

Kresge help!

You are in agent status again because of this one Heru!

If you must deeal with the Bible...

Use it's truths & not the myths as truths...
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The origin of Black people is AFRICA!

We did NOT come as the result of some curse by a drunk white guy who fell out in a field. Did Noah become some sort of diety that had the power to act in God's stead? Arbitrarily curse people by proxy?? I don't think so.

The first people on this earth were BLACK. You cannot put two white folks together and make a Black person, but you can do the opposite. What that means is that Black people were the first ones to roam the earth... before Noah, Ham, Caanan, etc.

quote:
From HeruStar:
If anyone doesn't think that black women are the most influential women on the planet, then read Genesis and see how hard it was for a Jew to remain a Jew, when he couldn't resist the Canaaite woman. Abrahams dying will was that his son did not marry a Canaanite Woman.


Obviously, you are not jewish.
Blacks were first on earth? I'm not arguing that. The whole point of the story was that being black was considered a curse. Ham, who was supposedly not black "poof" had a black son Canaan. It's of no consequence who was first. My point is that being black was not a curse, it was the gift of rich beauty.

Regardless though, don't know about you, but I've got options. And until I find the "One" (preferably a sister) Ima excercise my options.

BTW I've never seen two black people make a "white" baby. I'm beginning to think that's an old wives tale.
quote:
Originally posted by HeruStar:
Blacks were first on earth? I'm not arguing that. The whole point of the story was that being black was considered a curse. Ham, who was supposedly not black "poof" had a black son Canaan. It's of no consequence who was first. My point is that being black was not a curse, it was the gift of rich beauty.
I somehow missed the "gift of rich beauty" part. nono

quote:
Regardless though, don't know about you, but I've got options. And until I find the "One" (preferably a sister) Ima excercise my options.
When you consider that Black women come in every color, come in all shapes & sizes, speak every language there is, there are plenty of options that have allowed me to stay with the sisters.

quote:
BTW I've never seen two black people make a "white" baby. I'm beginning to think that's an old wives tale.
You've never heard of an albino???
quote:
Originally posted by HeruStar:
BTW I've never seen two black people make a "white" baby. I'm beginning to think that's an old wives tale.


Isis papers approach...Albinos?

The scientific approach.

Melanin blocks out UV tays which are needed to produce B-vitamins...this blockage of UV prevents skin cancer is tropical areas.

In an area of the earth where humans migrated to where they were not getting enough sunlight the skin would gradually lighten over millions of years so they could easily produce vitamin-B.

If you have skin with a lot of melanin and you are living in England you must take B-vitamin supplements of make sure you eat B-Vitamin rich foods.(I know folks that have to)

If you are de-pigmented(white) in Africa you have to use sunblock to prevent skin cancer.

The DNA needed to produce light/white skin are in African people. The DNA to produce melanin/black is not is Europeans.

We can lighten over gebnerations...they can't darken without intermarriage. That is where the "saying" comes from.

In this white supremacist run world it is of great consequence who was first. It shatters their theories.
Albino?... come on man stop playin. lol

Anyways, Ima answer the question
Do African American women tend to be very religious?
The answer is NO.
I have a hard time finding one that even recognizes her spirit within. In my short 25 years (this Sept) of dating nothing but black women, I've encountered one that was spiritual. I mean, I know sisters that go to church, but they do it because of how they were raised, not because they actually have a true relationship with their inner Woman.
So Ima say that black women aren't religious enough.
Look at my wide nose, how many whites have a nose like mine! How come most of em don't have any lips either? Albinos are damn near blind. I don't think all white peoples vision are that bad. How come we are so split in our ways of thinking? Did albinos get together and say "I don't care what the black in me says, Ima do it this way". I've been the only black in most of my college and military career. So yeah, Im a black sheep. But I'm not a black sheep because of my skin, I'm a black sheep because of my culture and way of thinking, if I were an "Uncle Tom" (a black man ignoring the black in him) then I wouldn't probably stand out as much (not that I mind standing out). What am I saying? A white person wasn't my ancestor, nor are we the ancestors of white people.
quote:
The origin of the Negro race was from Ham (the son of Noah) seeing his father naked in the Ark and laughing about it.


quote:
Blacks were first on earth? I'm not arguing that..... It's of no consequence who was first.


Uhhh... actually, it sounds like you're saying exactly that. In the first quote, you say that the origin of the "negro race" is from the curse of Ham. In order to believe that, you would have no choice but to believe that the "negro race" was not the original people. If you're saying that the origin of the black race was when Ham was cursed, then that means Ham was already around, as something other than a black man, BEFORE the negro race occurred.

You being dutifully called out on that b.s., you've tried to modify your stance, to make it sound like you're not arguing origins. But you are, so obviously, something is flawed about your stance. (Namely, every aspect of it.)
quote:
Originally posted by CLARE:
He gave me the impression that it was virtually impossible to meet a black woman who wasn't obsessed by the Church/ Bible. Is this an accurate observation about African American women or is he just exaggerating?


One of the problems that I have with this question is that it is written as if there is something wrong with black women. Aside from the fact that this guy is clearly full of shit, if black women are deemed religious, loud, expressive, boisterous, assertive, or whatever, this characterization should not be viewed as something negative. Its who and what we are; therefore, if you can't get with it, then move the fuck on. In fact, let's be clear about who actually has the problem here. It is the guy in question who has the real problem, not black women. It is him who feels the need to explain away his reasoning for rejecting and discriminating against members of his own race. Therefore, as a black woman, why is it expected for me to change in order to meet men's neurotic preference? Who knows, five years from now, this guy is likely to prefer only Asian women because they make him feel like "everyday is national holiday" or some flaky dumb shit like that. As an intelligent black woman, I have no time for the ridiculousness, whimsical, here today gone tommorrow preferences of some men.
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quote:
Originally posted by HeruStar:
Maybe I should've put that 7) in quotations. The statement was not mine. What little relevance I found, I tried to convey. You want to take it in all directions so be it have fun, and when you get back understand this; my stance needs no modification.


Heru, you are only giving all of us here the opportunity to see the full extent of your ignorance. You have alot to learn my friend. You are truly in a league that is beyond you at this point. Again, I would suggest you become better informed because most of what has been discussed so far in this topic is common knowledge, especially the information related to Biblical Caanan and Africa as the birthplace of humanity. Might I also suggest, a little more reading and a little less typing brotha.
quote:
Originally posted by Rowe:
quote:
Originally posted by CLARE:
He gave me the impression that it was virtually impossible to meet a black woman who wasn't obsessed by the Church/ Bible. Is this an accurate observation about African American women or is he just exaggerating?


One of the problems that I have with this question is that it is written as if there is something wrong with black women. Aside from the fact that this guy is clearly full of shit, if black women are deemed religious, loud, expressive, boisterous, assertive, or whatever, this characterization should not be viewed as something negative. Its who and what we are; therefore, if you can't get with it, then move the fuck on. In fact, let's be clear about who actually has the problem here. It is the guy in question who has the real problem, not black women. It is him who feels the need to explain away his reasoning for rejecting and discriminating against members of his own race. Therefore, as a black women, why is it expected for me to change in order to meet men's neurotic preference? Who knows, five years from now, this guy is likely to prefer only Asian women because they make him feel like "everyday is national holiday" or some flaky dumb shit like that. As an intelligent black woman, I have no time for the ridiculousness, whimsical, here today gone tommorrow preferences of some men.


lol IMO this is the best repsonse to the original post... Great post Rowe...very honest and accurate!
quote:
Originally posted by Oshun Auset:
lol IMO this is the best repsonse to the original post... Great post Rowe...very honest and accurate!


You know me Oshun, I don't have time for the games. I mean, here we have a guy who is thirty four years old and has refused to date black women because they are "religious," and I'm supposed to be the one with the problem??? I don't think so! This guy has more issues than we have time to address in this forum that's for sure. Might I refer him to a psychologist.
quote:
Originally posted by Rowe:
quote:
Originally posted by Oshun Auset:
lol IMO this is the best repsonse to the original post... Great post Rowe...very honest and accurate!


You know me Oshun, I don't have time for the games. I mean, here we have a guy who is thirty four years old and has refused to date black women because they are "religious," and I'm supposed to be the one with the problem??? I don't think so! This guy has more issues than we have time to address in this forum that's for sure. Might I refer him to a psychologist.


Yeah I agree. This guy claimed that he had always wanted to be with a black woman and that he definitely wanted to settle down with a black woman now - but somehow it didn't ring true. He was interested in me but I wasn't keen because I sensed some underlying self hatred and I had no wish to be the first black woman this guy had dated! It's good to get validated by other people regarding my feelings that there was something wrong with him.
quote:
Originally posted by CLARE:
He was interested in me but I wasn't keen because I sensed some underlying self hatred and I had no wish to be the first black woman this guy had dated!


You did the right thing sista. And I try not to internalize other people's dysfunctional issues, but it simply scares me that loonies like this guy are walking around free. Its also interesting to hear the twisted and off the wall "tag lines" men will come up with to show interest in a woman. One of the points on which Heru and I do agree is that this guy perhaps was using the "I've never dated a black woman will you be the first" explanation to snag you. I wouldn't be surprised. I know men who like to play the "wounded and heartbroken" role in order to get some butt. Beware girl. These guys think they are so slick its ridiculous. But if he thought he was going to get some butt with that stupidness, he's crazy. Perhaps he needs to refer back to his mack drawing board??? nono Its a good thing that you are an informed sista who saw right through that transparent foolishness.
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quote:
Originally posted by Rowe:
quote:
Originally posted by CLARE:
He was interested in me but I wasn't keen because I sensed some underlying self hatred and I had no wish to be the first black woman this guy had dated!


You did the right thing sista. And I try not to internalize other people's dysfunctional issues, but it simply scares me that loonies like this guy are walking around free. Its also interesting to hear the twisted and off the wall "tag lines" men will come up with to show interest in a woman. One of the points on which Heru and I do agree is that this guy perhaps was using the "I've never dated a black woman will you be the first" explanation to snag you. I wouldn't be surprised. I know men who like to play the "wounded and heartbroken" role in order to get some butt. Beware girl. These guys think they are so slick its ridiculous. But if he thought he was going to get some butt with that stupidness, he's crazy. Perhaps he needs to refer back to his mack drawing board??? nono Its a good thing that you are an informed sista who saw right through that transparent foolishness.


Thank you! Big Grin
quote:
Originally posted by CLARE:
I was recently speaking to a 34-year-old African American man who revealed that he had never had a relationship with a black woman before (all his previous relationships have been with white women). He said that while he had always wanted to have a relationship with a black woman, he found it extremely difficult to meet black women who were not religious. He gave me the impression that it was virtually impossible to meet a black woman who wasn't obsessed by the Church/ Bible. Is this an accurate observation about African American women or is he just exaggerating? (I think he was making excuses!!!)


maybe he means 'living a Christian life'. Alot of Black women in America are single, never married moms....that dont sound to Christian to me, no matter if she had perfect attendance at church.

More to the point, if in his 20+ years of dating he hasn't found a Black woman Christian in church and living a Christian life, might I suggest he change churches Smile
quote:
Originally posted by CLARE:
I was recently speaking to a 34-year-old African American man who revealed that he had never had a relationship with a black woman before (all his previous relationships have been with white women). He said that while he had always wanted to have a relationship with a black woman, he found it extremely difficult to meet black women who were not religious. He gave me the impression that it was virtually impossible to meet a black woman who wasn't obsessed by the Church/ Bible. Is this an accurate observation about African American women or is he just exaggerating? (I think he was making excuses!!!)



This can happen folks. Here in Kentucky, I can't tell you how many times folks have told me they can't do lunch or whatever on Wednesdays because they have Wednesday Bible study. This is no joke. It is a social thing. The society is just set up that way. It's called peer pressure. Social conformity. Those who can't hang leave ... the state ... as I'm thinking about doing ...

This man's situation is completely possible ... especially if he is not a high volume/revolving door dater ... It is completely within the realm of possibility that he's not making excuses at all.
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My Dear, HB - I told your behind to get out of Kentucky and step into the real world! giveup

My take on this is that African Americans of both genders tend to be more spiritual - not religious - than others as there were many times in our struggles that we had to believe that there is a Creator - something stronger and greater than all creation - who would eventually set things right. Faith is not religion - it is spiritual. I think that many religious are cultish in nature and I shy away from them, but I do believe that there is but one Creator who is the Creator of all. Anyway, IMHO, the Creator is prolly sick of many mainstream religions as they tend to divide - not unite; oppress rather than liberate; and dictate how one must relate to the Creator. I don't like political/religious discussions, but I think it is an unfair rap to say that AA women are "too religious" when most of the non-white spiritual leaders that immediately come to mind - Malcolm, MLK, Ghandi, Mandela - were spiritual in nature and it wasn't a negative for them.
quote:
Originally posted by Sandye:
My Dear, HB - I told your behind to get out of Kentucky and step into the real world! giveup


I got a job ... I like to eat ... and be comfortable ... I cannot just up and quit ... especially when I'm trying to start a business on the side ...

quote:

but I think it is an unfair rap to say that AA women are "too religious" when most of the non-white spiritual leaders that immediately come to mind - Malcolm, MLK, Ghandi, Mandela - were spiritual in nature and it wasn't a negative for them.


You are "too religious" when you feel a need to convert everybody else to your religion and cannot tolerate the thought that someone has a different path that works for them.

By this definition, I'm surrounded by a lot of black folks (men and women) who are "too religious" ...
OK ... All you people claiming that black folks - and black women in particular - aren't too religious:

1) are in denial your damn selves
2) are lying to me
3) living on a different plane
4) need to tell me where the hell you live so I can move there.

PS:

You do not count if you are located in

1) New York City (I L-O-V-E NYC)
2) Washington D.C. area
3) within 20 miles of an Ivy League campus.
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quote:
Originally posted by AudioGuy:
quote:
Originally posted by HeruStar:
Albino?... come on man stop playin...


So the "curse of ham" is only limited to pork... not biblical figures.


Haha, I like that!

Anywhoo, I don't know many black people who are too religous, if anything I know way more people who are not religous, cept the older folk. Ilive in Atlanta, I got people in Alabama, however while I don't know many black ppl who are "too religous" you'd be hard pressed to find any who are agnostic, and def not atheist. But, I also don't know many white folk in Alabama who would agnostic/atheist either. (Bible Belt, baby!) So maybe he just can't find someone to share those views, which is believeable. But that he find many white Alabamans like that, not so believable.

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