Originally posted by RadioRaheem:
In my mind, she comes first...in her mind, her kids comes first, then the relationship with the kids father, and then me...if i'm lucky that she isn't a 'career focused' female. That's third place at best. She is first with me, i'm third to her.
i sense some immaturity in your approach to relationships...forgive me if i'm wrong.
why are you even trying to "place" yourself with her (the woman)? 1st place, 2nd place, etc??
serious relationships 'should' be about committment...committment to each other. if she's got kids, and you're serious about her then your committment is not to her alone--but to her and her children. she shouldn't be first on your list--her and her kids should be. as a mother, she isn't a "single package", she's a mother and if you're serious about her you should be as serious about her children. they are a package deal.
it takes a level of maturity to understand that when families are created there is an bond between those individuals that can't be broken because a new boyfriend comes into the picture. those relationships were there long before you were, and they'll be there after you're gone.
if the father is involved with his kids--get to know him. if she's career focused--support her in that instead of playing tit for tat i put her first she puts me third.
maybe it's good you're not interested in women with children...
if you only want peas, don't pick out peas and carrots and the complain about the carrots...