CORRUPTED WISH GAME

quote:

Originally posted by AudioGuy:

quote:

Originally posted by Khalliqa:
My wish:


That Lasik eye surgery was confirmed as a safe procedure and became an inexpensive procedure available to all who deem it necessary

Granted: Lasik becomes cheap and many find it very necessary... Eye doctors jump "into the game" at an alarming rate... Soon Lasik becomes like crack and eye docs start doing drive-byes in order to get more "turf"... Many lives are lost in the "Lasik Eye Surgery Epidemic"...

okay... that was a good one... didn't see that coming!

quote:

My Wish: That public school education would rise the standard that private school has...

Granted: Now all parents are required to pay for public school so that all children will come out knowing the difference between the words "rise" and "raise"



My wish:

That Obama and Powell are really double agents for the black liberation separatist movement.... and in a few years the rest of the world will be let in on the secret coup planned by these masters of deception and strategic planning

quote:

My wish:

That Obama and Powell are really double agents for the black liberation separatist movement.... and in a few years the rest of the world will be let in on the secret coup planned by these masters of deception and strategic planning

Granted: however, when the plan is implemented, it is revealed that your Black heroes that you patterned your personal values and life philosophies were all active agents for the integrationalist movement.

My Wish:

To always be able to find a parking space at the mall, nearest to whatever store I need to go to. [And, don't make me become suddenly handicapped].

quote:

Originally posted by Kweli4Real:
My Wish:

To always be able to find a parking space at the mall, nearest to whatever store I need to go to. [And, don't make me become suddenly handicapped].

Granted: You're homeless... with a parking spot for your cart right near whatever store you're looking to enter!



My wish:

That food could be dispersed to all who were truly in need of it....

quote:

That food could be dispersed to all who were truly in need of it....

Granted: All people on earth get enough food. Nobody will die of starvation and malnutrition. This will lead to overpopulation. No, not to extermination of the entire human race this time;-) People start exploring the universe and settle down on Mars. There they will find Outlander living. And history repeats.

My wish: That there is no Xmas next week

quote:

Originally posted by listener:

My wish: That there is no Xmas next week

Granted: The president, the Veep and all the leaders in succession the throne are eliminated after a state dinner where spinach and green onions where served... Due to the fact that he missed the dinner, the only member of congress with enough seniority left is Joe Lieberman... he then becomes the president and his first executive order: Cancel xmas!!

My Wish: That dodgeball be reintegrated back into the schools...

Granted... but with mass lawsuits due to bumps, bruises, and broken noses by the parents of the children all sport programs were cancelled.

My wish

I wish that all marriages were happy, pure bliss till death.

quote:

Originally posted by MissTical:
My wish

I wish that all marriages were happy, pure bliss till death.

Granted: With the caveat that the kiss given upon stating their vows is one laced with poison...




My wish:

That court proceedings would go swiftly, easy and with justice served

quote:

Originally posted by Khalliqa:
My wish:

That court proceedings would go swiftly, easy and with justice served

Granted: The Diebold company (same company that makes electronic voting machines) comes up with an "electronic judge & jury"... you submit your case and in a flash it is decided - no questons asked... and then the sentence is carried out immediately, on the spot, with no appeal - including death penalty cases...

My Wish: That music became music again - with real musicians playing...

quote:

Originally posted by AudioGuy:
My Wish: That music became music again - with real musicians playing...

Granted: Every time you turn on your stereo your car is flooded with band members....

My wish:

That all envelopes were manufactured as premoistened...

quote:

Originally posted by Khalliqa:
My wish:

That all envelopes were manufactured as premoistened...

Granted: Child labor laws are rescinded... Children are then pressed in to service as envelope pre moisteners... each child must work a 12 hour shift, 6 days a week... licking envelopes...

My Wish: That Gangsta Rap never made it off the west coast...

Peace....

quote:

My Wish: That Gangsta Rap never made it off the west coast...

Granted, however, instead of Gansta rap spreading across the country, a new bizarro form of Techno Gangster Folk music takes hold......


My wish,

I could read and retain the information of entire text books in 30 seconds.



Kai

quote:

My wish,

I could read and retain the information of entire text books in 30 seconds.

Granted: however, the physiological changes to your brain that allows for your new ability is accompanied by a swelling of your brain and the surrounding cranium, causing you to develop a freakish huge head - large to the point where you cannot leave your home without being met with scares from adults and screams of fear from little children.

I wish for peace on Earth and goodwill to all mankind.

quote:

Originally posted by Kweli4Real:

quote:

My wish,

I could read and retain the information of entire text books in 30 seconds.

Granted: however, the physiological changes to your brain that allows for your new ability is accompanied by a swelling of your brain and the surrounding cranium, causing you to develop a freakish huge head - large to the point where you cannot leave your home without being met with scares from adults and screams of fear from little children.

I'm soooooo sorry Kai.. but... bwahahahahaha!

Kweli, that was a good one! rofl....

quote:

I wish for peace on Earth and goodwill to all mankind.

Granted: You wake up to find a huge billboard with the word "PEACE" has fallen from a low flying cesna during a commerce transport and embedded itself deep into the earth in your backyard.... just as you view the tele to find out that the nefarious new drug euphemistically and ironically referred to as "goodwill" is plaguing all of mankind....

My wish:

Condoleeza Rice finds a righteous, conscious black man to marry who affects her so much she quits her job and becomes a stay at home homeschooling mother pledging to raise the next Malcolm X

quote:

Originally posted by Khalliqa:

Condoleeza Rice finds a righteous, conscious black man to marry who affects her so much she quits her job and becomes a stay at home homeschooling mother pledging to raise the next Malcolm X

Granted, but George takes it personally and declares war on all black peoples - bloodshed runs through the streets and Condoleeza is never heard from again from the guilt and shame of her actions.

Wish: I wish I found a bottle with a genie in it to answer my every wish.

quote:

Originally posted by MBM:
Wish: I wish I found a bottle with a genie in it to answer my every wish.

Granted: Except the "bottle" has alcohol in it too... You take a swig, and become intoxicated... Now everytime you make a wish, you instantly become drunk...

My Wish: That the NFL had a Black owner...

Peace....

quote:

My Wish: That the NFL had a Black owner...

Granted, Don King, 50 cents, lil Wayne, and Jim Jones collaborate on the creation of a New NFL franchise in Neptune, New Jersy, called the "Neptune Niggas".

Their helmets display a picture of the Cannibas plant, with the Words "BALLIN!!!" across the side...

The black community is so embarassed that we demand that the only black ownership in the NFL be rescinded...

My wish,

I wish the building plans and engineering equipment used to build the pyramids was revealed to the public.



Moat

quote:

Originally posted by Saracen:
My wish,

I wish the building plans and engineering equipment used to build the pyramids was revealed to the public.



Moat

Granted:

Because they are interlaced with four dimensional spiritual knowledge and understanding... still no one can figure it out.... and you hear a collective arrrrggggggghhhhh come out of every engineering lab on the planet...




My wish:

The government would give enough aid to single mothers to allow them to stay at home with their babies until they are 6 years of age and continue to give support if the mother decides to homeschool... holding the mother accountable for the child's reasonable progress... and the men in their lives become shamed and turn a new leaf, owning their own successful businesses, dropping any destructive habits and offering marriage to the women who are successfully raising their children...

quote:

Originally posted by Khalliqa:
My wish:

The government would give enough aid to single mothers to allow them to stay at home with their babies until they are 6 years of age and continue to give support if the mother decides to homeschool... holding the mother accountable for the child's reasonable progress... and the men in their lives become shamed and turn a new leaf, owning their own successful businesses, dropping any destructive habits and offering marriage to the women who are successfully raising their children...

Granted:

After years of irresponsibilty, men are turning over new leaves... They start businesses that are very successful, drop the destructive habits, and offer marriage... to all their babies mama's...

My Wish: That all corrupt police officers, past and present, are brought to justice...

granted AG: all corrupt police officers past and present are brought to justice, but after this is done mass chaos ensues as there are no policing agents left to "serve and protect" citizens.

My wish: That cigarettes would ceize to exist, companies would simply stop producing them.

quote:

My wish: That cigarettes would ceize to exist, companies would simply stop producing them.

Granted: But who would'a guessed the matchbook and desposable lighter industry employed so many people?

I wish I would wake up to find that the last few months was just a awful, awful dream.

quote:

Originally posted by Kweli4Real:
I wish I would wake up to find that the last few months was just a awful, awful dream.

Granted:

That new miata that you had that awful car accident in? a dream.... it was actually a Ford Focus...

That voluptious new cook you hired who ruined all of your meals? a dream... she was really anorexic and bulemic... and well.. you know...

The status and praise received for a job well done only to be humiliated when someone else took credit later? a dream... they actually took credit sooner...

My wish:


For an alliance between allopathic and naturopathic medical and healing practitioners...

quote:

Originally posted by Khalliqa:
My wish:


For an alliance between allopathic and naturopathic medical and healing practitioners...

Granted: All naturopaths and allopaths decide to come together and form an alliance... At their first national meeting, they elect the recently released Dr. Kevorkian to be their leader...

My Wish: That polyester had never gone out of fashion...

quote:

Originally posted by AudioGuy:

quote:

Originally posted by Khalliqa:
My wish:


For an alliance between allopathic and naturopathic medical and healing practitioners...

Granted: All naturopaths and allopaths decide to come together and form an alliance... At their first national meeting, they elect the recently released Dr. Kevorkian to be their leader...

rofl...

quote:

My Wish: That polyester had never gone out of fashion...

Granted: Neither did smoking, because of many "accidents" people now wear polyster permanently....


(*polyster melts onto the skin when heated)

My wish:

There was a sport that combined gymnastics and ballroom dancing

Peace....

quote:

There was a sport that combined gymnastics and ballroom dancing

Granted, the new sport, involves several couples dancing in a pit, a disc jockey plays music and then at a random moment the floor opens and underneath is a pit of sharp wooden spikes, the dancers have seconds to run, and flip out of the pit and climb these slippery bars leading to safety. Those who fail to get out fall into the stakes and are impaled. The moment right as the pit floor opens is always received with screams, laughter, and cheers from the spectators...

The pit floor closes and the dance resumes until only one couple is left, and then win the prize of freedom..Oh yeah I forgot to mention that this game is played with inmates who risk their lives for a chance to be free...


My Wish

I wish cheeseburgers and fries were healthy...


Whirling Moat

quote:

Originally posted by Saracen:
Peace....

quote:

There was a sport that combined gymnastics and ballroom dancing

Granted, the new sport, involves several couples dancing in a pit, a disc jockey plays music and then at a random moment the floor opens and underneath is a pit of sharp wooden spikes, the dancers have seconds to run, and flip out of the pit and climb these slippery bars leading to safety. Those who fail to get out fall into the stakes and are impaled. The moment right as the pit floor opens is always received with screams, laughter, and cheers from the spectators...

The pit floor closes and the dance resumes until only one couple is left, and then win the prize of freedom..Oh yeah I forgot to mention that this game is played with inmates who risk their lives for a chance to be free...

Are you okay????

quote:

My Wish

I wish cheeseburgers and fries were healthy...


Whirling Moat

Granted: The compositional structure of our bodies must change to accomodate this as a healthy diet....

Therefore human beings begin to grow fangs, salivate often, our colon shrinks and men no longer lust after women to bed... but to dine.... thereafter mayhem on the planet ensues...



My wish:


That I could start my life over beginning at 12 years of age and do things differently thereafter....

quote:

Originally posted by Khalliqa:

That I could start my life over beginning at 12 years of age and do things differently thereafter....

Granted, you can live your life "differently", but you are forced to do so in an even less preferable manner.

My wish: that the effects of global warming are reversed back to its "normal" condition.

quote:

My wish: that the effects of global warming are reversed back to its "normal" condition.

Grant: But since this can only be accomplished by switching completely to the alternative energy sources, what do we do with all the abandoned oil refineries, the people that worked in the oil industry and the Bush family?

I wish those get rich quick schemes advertised at 4:00a.m., really worked.

quote:

Originally posted by Kweli4Real:

I wish those get rich quick schemes advertised at 4:00a.m., really worked.

Granted: You now own millions of dollars of worthless property,knick knacks, really cheesy apparel, ginzu knives... and an overabundance of ch.. ch... ch.. chia..pets...

You bought them... the advertisements work



My wish:

That more celebrity writers and thinkers would post on black message boards instead of lurking....

quote:

Originally posted by Khalliqa:
My wish:

That more celebrity writers and thinkers would post on black message boards instead of lurking....

Granted: Now celebs come to boards like this one all the time and post... Except all they post are ads for upcoming appearences.movies/events... It becomes so weighed down from all the extra traffic that it crashes... *BOOM*

My Wish: That Hip Hoppers stop using negative terminology when referring to their own people...

quote:

Originally posted by AudioGuy:

My Wish: That Hip Hoppers stop using negative terminology when referring to their own people...

Granted: They stop using words like n*gga and b*tch and instead replace them with words like "boy-friend" and "angel"... the hip hop industry dies....


my wish:

That AG's moving script in his signature would slow down...

quote:

Originally posted by Khalliqa:
my wish:

That AG's moving script in his signature would slow down...

Granted: AG picks a fight with MBM, calls him every name in the book, talks about his mama and his grandmama... MBM bans him... Now his signature has stopped... Permanently...

My Wish: That Michael Jordan had realized that he should not have "come back" before... he embarrassed himself...

quote:

Originally posted by AudioGuy:

quote:

Originally posted by Khalliqa:
my wish:

That AG's moving script in his signature would slow down...

Granted: AG picks a fight with MBM, calls him every name in the book, talks about his mama and his grandmama... MBM bans him... Now his signature has stopped... Permanently...

rofl...

quote:

My Wish: That Michael Jordan had realized that he should not have "come back" before... he embarrassed himself...

Granted: He doesn't come back at all...


My wish:

That I could exist off of two hours of sleep just for tomorrow to get through this pile of papers..

Peace....

quote:

My wish:

That I could exist off of two hours of sleep just for tomorrow to get through this pile of papers..

Granted, however thereafter you require 17 hours of sleep per day


My wish

I wish that I had a time machine



Whirling Moat

quote:

Originally posted by Saracen:
Peace....

quote:

My wish:

That I could exist off of two hours of sleep just for tomorrow to get through this pile of papers..

Granted, however thereafter you require 17 hours of sleep per day

grrrrrrr.....

quote:

My wish

I wish that I had a time machine



Whirling Moat

Granted: Your next birthday gift is a miniature facsmilie of a time machine...



My wish:

Everyone on the planet would be more careful of giving their word because it will come true instantly when spoken...

quote:

My wish:

Everyone on the planet would be more careful of giving their word because it will come true instantly when spoken...

Granted: However, After horrific scenes in courtroom across the country, the prison system has to be expanded as every people on trial, guilty or not plead guilty out of fear of the "So help me God" oath. But on the positive side, church, synagogue, Mosque, Kingdom Hall and Sweat Lodge attendence is at an all time high.

I wish I had complete control over my mind, body and soul.

quote:

Originally posted by Kweli4Real:

I wish I had complete control over my mind, body and soul.

Granted: What begins as complete control deteriorates quickly into an inner battle between who will retain control.. the mind becomes tyrannous and the body revolts... the soul retreats into mute silence... chaos ensumes and you become a walking zombie




My wish:

For the ban of all cloned fruits and vegetables

quote:

Originally posted by Khalliqa:
[QUOTE]Originally posted by Kweli4Real:
My wish:

For the ban of all cloned fruits and vegetables

Granted: Congress passes a bill banning all cloned fruits and vegetables... However, prior to the bill being sent to the white house, it is "prepped" by an angry page who was caught up in the latest scandal... He retypes the bill to say coned fruits and veggies... No one catches it and gwb signs it and it becomes law...

My wish: That all the victims of Katrina get proper restitution...

quote:

Originally posted by AudioGuy:
My wish: That all the victims of Katrina get proper restitution...

Granted: Every kracka residing in Louisiana claims victim status for having to endure the slander of racism throughout the ordeal... and maneuver all rightful victims out of their proper restitution..... and as every white person goes en masse to collect their grants... a big flood hits them at that moment

and then...

well the resources are left to... (okay so maybe that wish wasn't so corrupted)



My wish: That I could not feel pain

quote:

Originally posted by Khalliqa:

My wish: That I could not feel pain

Granted - but with it you would also feel no pleasure.

My wish: that Barack Obama win the presidency

quote:

Originally posted by MBM:

quote:

Originally posted by Khalliqa:

My wish: That I could not feel pain

Granted - but with it you would also feel no pleasure.

My wish: that Barack Obama win the presidency

Granted: Barack kicks McCain's ass after joining forces w/Hilary Clinton, who becomes VP.

Wish: To become Angelina Jolie and Johnny Depp's wife.