This phenomenon has baffled me for years. I have yet to figure out and understand this pathology. It's like code-breaking.
Cognitive dissonance is a perceived inconsistency between two cognitions in which the person believes one thing but then acts in a different way from what they believed.
To prove cognitive dissonance, one must observe the interactions between black men and black women and interpret the responses and reactions that black women give to black men.
Are these reactions positive, negative or neutral? Judging from the voiced wishes of the black women as to the type of man whom she seeks, how would you anticipate the reaction of black women towards black men in settings of higher education and the corporate workplace? Why do so many established black men describe the response and reactions toward them by black women as being negative in nature?
If you were to witness the response and reaction black women give to established brothers, you would observe minimal involvement, no acknowledgement, defensive reflex, contempt type attitudes and even being threatened to some degree.
Out of contempt for educated brothas, sisters attack the educated black mans self with negative reactions so that the black man will internalize this negative self-image. Black women use other negative sanctions to show disapproval for black men who obtain education with frowns, cold-shoulders, dis-interest and negative attitudes.
Someone standing on the outside looking in at this interaction could not conclude from the black woman's behavior that she desires to be with educated/professionally employed black men. Black women say that they desire to be involved with educated, professionally employed black men but this idea/notion is not manifested into action which is obvious in the social interaction when the two parties are in one another's presence.
The reason that some women react with shock and disbelief when they hear of a single established brother is because their perception of an ideal culture does not jive with real/actual culture. The enthusiasm in the ideal world is not present in the physical world.
The rhetoric of many black women is a direct antonym/contradiction of their actions. If the actions coincided with the beliefs, men whom involve themselves in criminal activity wouldn't have the luxury of companionship with the black woman let alone children. If the actions agreed with the rhetoric, black women would show admiration and approval towards the already established brothers. Neither is the case. This contradiction between beliefs and actual actions is even further amplified when these women dismiss or reject the established black man to have relations with the opposite: undereducated and underemployed black men; thus rewarding and reinforcing dysfunctional behavior (washing the feet of unworthy men).
Ever wonder why is it that many black women can't seem to bring themselves to even acknowledge the mere existence of established brothas? Disillusioned; lying to themselves and others about this claimed nonexistence, manipulating and exaggerating the truth to paint a picture of an absolute "bum" black male population. Some sistas will even choose "underemployed black men" as the topic of discussion when conversing with employed black men.