We say that people can fall in 'love at first site'. Can someone fall out of love just as quickly? What do you think? Have you ever been with someone and, in an instant, completely changed how you feel about them - for the worse?

© MBM

Original Post
I don't think you can. Mainly because your first reaction to a "lessening of the love" will be denial. You don't want it to end. It just gradually becomes clearer that you don't feel what you used to feel for that person.

I'm in that situation right now. brofrown
quote:
Originally posted by MBM:
We say that people can fall in 'love at first site'. Can someone fall out of love just as quickly? What do you think? Have you ever been with someone and, in an instant, completely changed how you feel about them - for the worse?


I wasn't "in love" but I liked someone a lot - then I found out she smoked. broscream Everything I felt quickly dissapated. Frown

quote:
from isistah:
I don't think you can. Mainly because your first reaction to a "lessening of the love" will be denial. You don't want it to end. It just gradually becomes clearer that you don't feel what you used to feel for that person.

I'm in that situation right now.


I am sorry to hear that - If you don't mind me asking, what happened?
quote:
Originally posted by AudioGuy:

I am sorry to hear that - If you don't mind me asking, what happened?


It's only been a brief affair. Started in February. It's just becoming more and more apparent that he's not the guy for me and not the guy I thought he was.
I was really sprung there for a while, though. We had terrific chemistry.
quote:
Originally posted by isistah:
It's only been a brief affair. Started in February. It's just becoming more and more apparent that he's not the guy for me and not the guy I thought he was.
I was really sprung there for a while, though. We had terrific chemistry.


So why are you still hangin' on? There has got to be some benefit to the reklationship. Is it the sex? (if this is too personal, please say so)
quote:
Originally posted by AudioGuy:
So why are you still hangin' on? There has got to be some benefit to the reklationship. Is it the sex? (if this is too personal, please say so)


Gee, I didn't think that I was "hanging on". I'm only recently coming to the realization that this is going nowhere. We were good friends for a long time before we became "special friends", so it still has some benefits other than sex.
I think it will come to it's own conclusion soon enough.
quote:
Originally posted by isistah:
Gee, I didn't think that I was "hanging on". I'm only recently coming to the realization that this is going nowhere. We were good friends for a long time before we became "special friends", so it still has some benefits other than sex.
I think it will come to it's own conclusion soon enough.


I said "hanging on" for lack of a better term - I hopt that you were not offended.

Why not just end it? Are you afraid of loosing the friendship?
I don't want to lose the friendship and even though it's not perfect, it's a very convenient relationship for me. It wouldn't be the right time for me to settle into a serious one-on-one right now. I don't want a live-in relationship or anything too heavy going on for the next two years.
quote:
Originally posted by isistah:
I don't want to lose the friendship and even though it's not perfect, it's a very convenient relationship for me. It wouldn't be the right time for me to settle into a serious one-on-one right now. I don't want a live-in relationship or anything too heavy going on for the next two years.


I'll hit ya back in '06 - brotongue

Soooo, you are "hangin' on".

Why do you have a set time as to when you will be ready to get "serious". You mean to tell me if you were at say the "Adam's Morgan Festival" and you met a brother who was someone you felt a connection with, you like him , he likes you, but it was a month from now, that you wouldn't give him a chance?
Yep! I call that "hangin on" for "my convenience" which is cool if the other person involved knows its like that. Otherwise, its a robbery and the other person can get hurt. You don't want to hurt nobody because that sh*t comes back at ya.

quote
Originally posted by isistah:
I don't want to lose the friendship and even though it's not perfect, it's a very convenient relationship for me.

There's that magical word "friendship" and the mistake most folks make in believing you can mix friendship and sex. I don't know anyone who has successful intertwined the two. Do you?
quote:
Originally posted by AudioGuy:

I'll hit ya back in '06 - brotongue

Soooo, you _are_ "hangin' on".

Why do you have a set time as to when you will be ready to get "serious". You mean to tell me if you were at say the "Adam's Morgan Festival" and you met a brother who was someone you felt a connection with, you like him , he likes you, but it was a month from now, that you wouldn't give him a chance?


Why the set time- I won't explain here.
When is the Adams Morgan Festival and what will you be wearing?
quote:
Originally posted by Diamond:
Yep! I call that "hangin on" for "my convenience" which is cool if the other person involved knows its like that. Otherwise, its a robbery and the other person can get hurt. You don't want to hurt nobody because that sh*t comes back at ya.



He is not in love with me.
We already loved each other as friends. I never expeceted to be giddily "falling in love with him". When I told him what I was feeling, he said "that will pass" and he was right, thank goodness. Or else I would be seriously headed for the big hurt.

I still enjoyed the experience. I haven't felt like that in a long, long time and it's still an enjoyable relationship between two adults who have a lot in common, care about each other, and enjoy each other's company. it just doesn't have a feeling of permanance.
quote:
Originally posted by Diamond:

There's that magical word "friendship" and the mistake most folks make in believing you can mix friendship and sex. I don't know anyone who has successful intertwined the two. Do you?


Now I have time to respond in full.
Every intimate relationship I've ever had started as a friendship and for me, that's the best route. Every intimate relationship I've had that ended, ended with the friendship intact. So, in my opinion, it can be successful.
quote:
Originally posted by MBM:
We say that people can fall in 'love at first site'. Can someone fall out of love just as quickly? What do you think? Have you ever been with someone and, in an instant, completely changed how you feel about them - for the worse?

There are different levels or aspects of love. In my personal observation people equate fancying somebody the same way as being in love. In this scenario falling in and out of love happens quite easily. I don't call it love but that is just my opinion.

Where true love is concerned and where the couple have been in a "loving relationship" that spans many years I honestly don't think you can fall out of love no matter what happens as your significant other half becomes like part of your body. You feel lost when they are not around let alone falling out of love. Death would be better.

Talking of death, actually there are known cases where two people are deeply in love and one dies the other quickly follows.

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