great topic. I'll say NO, she can not. There are certain qualities that must be transferred to the son that she simply does not know. She can't teach a lesson she has not learned Wink

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Who in the hell left the gate open??? Confused
Somebody put roots on me Frown


G.O.M.A.B., H.O.B.O., M.O.B., and B.B.H. Rules of life!!!
Radio, I didn't expect anyone to respond so quickly. I added the word healthy to the question.

But I tend to agree with you. While a woman can raise a man-child to be respectful, courteous, honest, and all that; there are lessons that woman can not teach because they do not know.

I have had this conversation with my wife and she insists that there is no difference between raising a son and a daughter. However, I watch how my wife treats our daughter. If our daughter were a son, the child would have definite issues. For example, risk taking. My wife discourages our daughter from taking risks and even punishes her if she takes a risk and fails. I, on the other hand, encourage our daughter to take risks. I believe this teaches the joys of success; that, although it may hurt, one can survive failure; confidence and independence.

Another example, is how we differ in how we react to injuries. My wife will drop everything and run to our daughter, scoop her up and dote over her, whether our daughter is hurt or not. I, on the other hand, first look to see whether our daughter is or should be hurt before I react.

It's clear that men and women have different approaches to raising children. Probably, neither is "better" than the other. But I, think that, because of societal expectations, if we were raising a son, my wife's approach would definitely handicap a man-child. While I believe that my approach to raising our daughter will not hinder her.

The fact is, we expect certain things of men, e.g., decisiveness, confidence, risk-taking, that are not expected of women. All of these traits are learned. If a women has these traits, great. If she doesn't, she will not be seen as less of a woman; but, if a man lacks these traits, he is not seen as a man.
Can a Black woman raise a healthy and able Black boy. I believe so. Although there are many things that a father will teach his son, there are as many things a woman will teach her son. It is no mistake that it takes a man and a woman to make a child and should be a hint to us that the child is in need of both parents. However to stick with the question, Women have been raising black men alone for years, some have done a poor job while others have done a great job. There is more to raising a child than just who is raising the child, the environment the child is raised in, the schooling the child receive and the type of mentoring the child receive. Children with both parents at home still can get great information and understanding from a mentoring program.

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When our most educated, and best prepared turn their back on our community, stagnation sets in and the men and women who are not the most educated and not the most prepared become the example for those coming behind them. It is up to those of us who are not rich and well off but are educated and prepared to educate our youth and prepare them for what they will face when entering the world.



More to come later!

Your Brother Faheem
Yes,

If she is smart enough to make sure her son has lots of positive role models i.e, grandfather, uncles, coach, scoutmaster.

Single black men can raise a healthy daughter (with a good support network)

single black women can raise a healthy son
(with a good support network)
It takes a village to truly raise a healthy child. There are some things a women don't understand about men and never will.

It basically boils down to mite makes right, be it physical, financial, political, whatever. Man has been this way since the beginning of time, always have, always will be.

Hitler said it best, woe to the weak.
quote:
Originally posted by negrospiritual:
Yes,

If she is smart enough to make sure her son has lots of positive role models i.e, grandfather, uncles, coach, scoutmaster.

Single black men can raise a healthy daughter (with a good support network)

single black women can raise a healthy son
(with a good support network)


i think the aspect of a lovingg father loving a loving mom is the key point that your point is lacking. It's nice to have men to emulate, but having a mom loving a dad and vice versa, shows the children a loving relationship, not just some negative bickering about 'your dad ain't ish' or 'all men are worthless' mindset Roll Eyes

***********************************************************

Who in the hell left the gate open??? Confused
Somebody put roots on me Frown


G.O.M.A.B., H.O.B.O., M.O.B., and B.B.H. Rules of life!!!
Darkman,

In A Sista's Spot, where the question applied to black men raising daughters, you answered in the affirmative:


Yep, a man can with help from some responsible females.


Yet, even though you don't come out say it, your post here insinuates that a black woman can't do the same for her son. Why the double standard?
Both a male and female will miss out if they grow in a home without both loving parents present. A child needs to see how two loving individual interact with each other and the commitment needed to make a relationship work. Children who do not grow in a home with both parents present will not know what a healthy relationship is all about. When they grow and have their own relationship and during instances of stress they will not know how to handle the situation. They will be quick to assume the relationship is a bad one, abandon it and continue the cycle where any children born into the relationship is left with an absent parent.

It is possible for either sex parent to raise healthy either sex children but the child will miss out on an important lesson in life.

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