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Hi Everybody!
I am new to this wonderful site and I wrote an essay about plus size-women and love relationships.
Robyn M

"No one wants a bone but a dog" is an old-school saying in the African American community that affirms the traditional approval of full-figured women by black men.

It's true. There are scores of guys of all races who prefer big women and choose them in the same way others favor blonds. Anecdotally speaking, a voluptuous woman could represent the ideal mother/lover image for men like Ron, a fifty-three-year-old special education teacher who "never dates a woman under a size 12" who has "food issues" and "does not like to eat."

Many men associate a woman who has a passion for food with someone who is highly sexual and likes to cook. Other guys admit to being attracted to the body type they are most familiar with from their family of sisters and a mother who are big-boned and fleshy.

Jerome, a middle-aged African American grocery clerk who has dated large women his entire life, buys into the notion that "big women are easier. They don't expect much and if they reject a brother, he does not feel as bad as if a skinny woman disses him. "And in bed," Jerome laughs "there is more ˜pushin' with the cushion'" Besides, Jerome said that in his experience "little women are evil."

A recent study published in the 'Journal Of Black Studies' reports that one size does not fit all when it comes to the size of beauty in the black community. In a 2004, report titled African American Men's Perception of Body Figure Attractiveness by Tammy T. Webb, E. Joan Looby, and Regina Fults-McMurtery, the researchers found that African American men with more mainstream values, perceived women with smaller body figures as more attractive than women with a larger body figures. This is in stark contrast to the long-held belief all black American men prefer thick women. The writers of the 2004 report attribute the influence of movies, videos, magazine and video games to the changing tastes of who is considered beautiful by African American men.

Still, men like Ron and Jerome and many others continue to date and marry full-figured girls. And according to Stephanie, a single mother and full-time student who lost over one hundred pounds after a gastric bypass operation, there is a world of difference between men like Ron and Jerome who love and appreciates big women and so-called "chubby chasers."

The latter are men with a fetish, obsessed with fatty flesh, believes Elizabeth, a full-figured graphic designer, "I call those guys ˜vultures,' Elizabeth said. "They find and exploit [a woman] they think may have low self-esteem because of her size. Chubby chasers really don't like themselves and come to us figuring we must also feel bad about ourselves too. They think we'll be a perfect match."

Stephanie agrees. "Chasers are losers, weirdos, outcasts, secretly gay or bisexual, too short, or otherwise physically unattractive.

"Especially the guys who troll the Internet chat rooms and place personal ads," Stephanie rolls her eyes. "Those are the kinds of guys who are really looking for weak women to play ˜mama' to them."

Chubby chasers may be desperately seeking women to support them and forgive them their infidelities and other faults in the same way that they might seek approval from an understanding parent. Chubby chasers are often in search of a woman with a big body and a big heart to match. Stephanie remembers encountering lots of men during her super-sized days who were "closet chubby chasers"--guys who wanted to be seen in public with a slender girl, but, when they got home, they wanted to "do it" with a fat girl."

An executive booking manager for a Los Angeles-area speakers' bureau, Juanita describes herself as large and lovely and "a player in the dating scene." She does not see herself as anyone's wife--ever. "There are lots of men who like me because I am a big woman," Juanita says. "I have never had a problem with men not liking me because of my weight; my personality shines. And men always comment on my pretty eyes. Obviously they admire the essence of me. They also like my other body parts too."
Robyn McGee, author Hungry for More: A Keeping it Real Guide for Black Women on Weight and Body Image

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quote:
Originally posted by hungry4more:
Thanks, for the welcome.
I really like your sig and pics.
How did you do that?



thanks.


the sig and the pics are linked from other websites. if you find a picture/graphic that you like, right mouse click it and go to properties. under that tab, you will find the picture's location. copy and paste that into your signature. if you need more help let me know Smile
I think that big women are honestly the most beautiful women I have met in my liftime because alot of them are so comfortable with who they are and are so full of spirit and not being afraid of doing things outside the box because they don't fit normal standards. I mean as soon as JLO and Beyonce hit the entertainment industry wasn't it that alot of girls mostly white wanted butt implants and to look more curvier. I honestly think that if a guy can't see how beautiful you women really are he is blind and doesn't deserve the time of day. I on the other hand am on the average side being 120 a size 5 in juniors but I've alwyas had to deal with remarks being made that I have "A wide butt" mostly from white girls, but whatever.I just hope people can stop with the "normal" standards of how were supposed to look because my mom deffinatly doesn't fit that and she's the most beautiful women I know and to all you big sisters out there I admire you for your strength and courage.
quote:
Originally posted by El Tigre:
Actually, with women outnumbering men and not enough to go around, the competition is a feirce as with males who have to do whatever they HAVE TO DO with their body, and mind and finances to be chosen.

Women have to do that, too.

It's survival of the fittest - GOD put us here to compete and so, there are winners and losers.



The fittest does not always denote the most chiseled body. It is the one who poseeses a myriad of positive and lasting qualities. Healthy living also does not mean skinny, skinny does not mean healthy. I know thin people whose cholestorol is so high, and they are so out of shape I can run circles around them.
Some people are heavier due to muscle mass. So no one should assume that being full figured makes you one of the unfit. It depends upon what the man is looking for, and how you feel about yourself.

I can tell that because media is so more accessible, and less representative of our true selves, many men seek the trophy models put in front of them. And how many men actually look like the chisled models we see on T.V., but I'm not groaning about that. In fact the older I get the more realistic I am. If I live a healthy lifestyle I am available for a man that does the same. We can play ball together, go swimming together, play tennis together. I may never be a size ten, and he may not have a six pack. But we'll both be happy, healthy, fully accepting each other inside and out.
i saw a documentary about an african culture in which a bride is preferred large. they actually fatten girls up before marraige because the men like their women to be very fat. it's some kind of status symbol. i think it was uganda, but i'm not sure i really remember now. i can't tell you how weird it was to see subtitles that said " i want a fat wife. i think a fat wife is beautiful". so, yes, it's true. not one size does fit all. although i think our african american heritage is now very effected by the white media. the more visibility black women have in the media, the more black women are starting to have concerns about appearing to be the american standard of beauty. at one point, black men liked black women fat. but now with the halle berry's and angela bassetts living up to the american beauty standard (with regards to size), it's putting more pressure on the average black woman. i know monique is trying to hold it down for the big girls, but when starr jones gets a gastric bypass, you know that we're starting to buy into the beauty standard. and black men have come to value a black woman who is closest to the beauty standard as possible. many black men still are most attracted to a black woman who is fair skinned, with good hair and thin in the waist (although at least they still appreciate a big butt and breasts).

well, that's my rant. welcome hungry, it's good to have you here!
Being large obviously wasn't a setback in life for Ati, wife of ruler of Parebu, ruler of Punt, during the reign of Hatshepsut. She is depicted in a scene in a relief in the temple of Deir el Babri... however the depiction of the queen's 'obesity' was unusual in Egyptian art, which usually portrayed ideolized bodies, especially for women.
So does the idea of thin-is-best originate on the catwalk?

Last week in Australia, as part of Fashion Week, one of the designers was criticized by the organizer as not being "professional" for using non-models to wear her design collection on the catwallk. The women were very pretty and about size 14 and average curves. Not slim, not fat.

I just heard on the radio that in Madrid, they want to bring in a ruling that models with a BMI (body mass index) that is too low won't be allowed on the catwalk.

A designer there commented "designers use [skinny] models because they want their clothes to hang like on a coat-hanger, with no curves to 'interfere' with the way the fabrics hang." Roll Eyes

Which makes me question who they are designing for? It's rather arrogant to make clothes that people need to alter their body shape to fit into. It used to be the other way around - clothes were altered to fit your body shape.
In Nigeria an other parts of Africa and the world being heavy is a status symbol, the more money you have the more food you can afford to buy and eat. And there is no fattening process involved there. In other parts of the world the fat keeps the body warm, like in Alaska, and Russia their women tend to have bigger frames.

Its all about cultural perspectives, and what we allow to be dictated to us. A full figured woman can be in much better shape than a skinny woman. I've seen it. We ALL have to live healthier lives, eat right and exercise, not just lose weight. That is not the key to happiness or the sole key to healthier living.
quote:
Originally posted by Glamour_Dollxoxo:
I think that big women are honestly the most beautiful women I have met in my liftime because alot of them are so comfortable with who they are and are so full of spirit and not being afraid of doing things outside the box because they don't fit normal standards. I mean as soon as JLO and Beyonce hit the entertainment industry wasn't it that alot of girls mostly white wanted butt implants and to look more curvier. I honestly think that if a guy can't see how beautiful you women really are he is blind and doesn't deserve the time of day. I on the other hand am on the average side being 120 a size 5 in juniors but I've alwyas had to deal with remarks being made that I have "A wide butt" mostly from white girls, but whatever.I just hope people can stop with the "normal" standards of how were supposed to look because my mom deffinatly doesn't fit that and she's the most beautiful women I know and to all you big sisters out there I admire you for your strength and courage.



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ephRvYEXW4&eurl

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