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Why do so many black women have an excuse for everything they do wrong in their relationships? They keep falling for the same no good negroes and the excuses are:

1. "You can't help who you fall in love with."

2. "There are no good black men left" when you know good and got damn well that ain't true.

3. "Good men are so hard to find we don't know how to act when a good one does come along."

Why do women not only defend but also look for sympathy for making their poor decisions yet ridicule and criticize men for making the same if not similar poor decisions? Too many women act as if the women that choose these sorry ass men are helpless and powerless in the situation like women are wild animals or mindless livestock. Why are so many sisters so incapable of making sound decisions when dealing with brothers? At the very least it's understandable that people make mistakes. But when you keep making the same mistakes with the same brother(s) who is really to blame?

When it comes to ridiculing brothers sisters always like to use that line: "You are what you attract", so what does that make the black women that keep on attracting the same abusive, lazy, neglectful, unemployed or underemployed or unemployable, irresponsible dudes? Somebody tell me what's up.

Let's start building some hurtin' bombs!! --Tony "Duke" Evers

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quote:
Originally posted by Romulus Burnett:
Why do so many black women have an excuse for everything they do wrong in their relationships? They keep falling for the same no good negroes and the excuses are:

1. "You can't help who you fall in love with."

2. "There are no good black men left" when you know good and got damn well that ain't true.

3. "Good men are so hard to find we don't know how to act when a good one does come along."

Why do women not only defend but also look for sympathy for making their poor decisions yet ridicule and criticize men for making the same if not similar poor decisions? Too many women act as if the women that choose these sorry ass men are helpless and powerless in the situation like women are wild animals or mindless livestock. Why are so many sisters so incapable of making sound decisions when dealing with brothers? At the very least it's understandable that people make mistakes. But when you keep making the same mistakes with the same brother(s) who is really to blame?

When it comes to ridiculing brothers sisters always like to use that line: "You are what you attract", so what does that make the black women that keep on attracting the same abusive, lazy, neglectful, unemployed or underemployed or unemployable, irresponsible dudes? Somebody tell me what's up.


~Well, I've heard 1 and 2 used quite often, but I don't think I've ever heard of the third one being admitted to.

My advice: Don't try to understand it, because it isn't going to make sense to you when it doesn't even make sense to women. It's not explainable or excusable to keep falling in the same hole time after time after time. But, there is a reason for it. From what I see in my circles, and what has been "admitted", the women would rather have somebody than nobody at all. They can't STAND to be manless, they can't STAND to take a breather in between relationships, and they aren't satisfied with self or anything else until their official status is "I'm somebody's woman". This way of being does not allow for "smart shopping", therefore...they get what they paid for (in effort)....which is nothing. I've even said to them, "Well, what if Mr. Right comes along and you're all tied up with this wrong guy and miss your chance?" They're not trying to hear that passed the weekend. Come Monday, it's on....to whomever.~ Roll Eyes Just long enough to get out and socialize and attach to another "maybe, but it's highly unlikely, but I'll settle". Over and over and over again. sck~
quote:
Originally posted by OhBlackButterfly:

~Well, I've heard 1 and 2 used quite often, but I don't think I've ever heard of the third one being admitted to.

My advice: Don't try to understand it, because it isn't going to make sense to you when it doesn't even make sense to women. It's not explainable or excusable to keep falling in the same hole time after time after time. But, there is a reason for it. From what I see in my circles, and what has been "admitted", the women would rather have somebody than nobody at all. They can't STAND to be manless, they can't STAND to take a breather in between relationships, and they aren't satisfied with self or anything else until their official status is "I'm somebody's woman". This way of being does not allow for "smart shopping", therefore...they get what they paid for (in effort)....which is nothing. I've even said to them, "Well, what if Mr. Right comes along and you're all tied up with this wrong guy and miss your chance?" They're not trying to hear that passed the weekend. Come Monday, it's on....to whomever.~ Roll Eyes Just long enough to get out and socialize and attach to another "maybe, but it's highly unlikely, but I'll settle". Over and over and over again. sck~










quote:
Originally posted by Ohblackbutterfly:

~Well, I've heard 1 and 2 used quite often, but I don't think I've ever heard of the third one being admitted to.


Yes I've come across women that have admitted to #3. Some of them are so emotionally wrecked they ask me questions like these in the early stages of dating: "What if you don't like me?" or "What do you see in me?" or "Why would you be interested in me?" These questions are usually followed after the fourth or fifth encounter by the infamous statement: "You treat me so well and I'm not used to it."

It's one thing to have a low self-esteem it's quite another to project it so shamelessly that it kills a mans' attraction to a woman. Speaking for myself I may question if a relationship is going to last or not in my head but I'm certainly not going to vocalize it. This is where women use the cop-out that men don't communicate. Some things should be communicated while others simply just need to stay under wraps. Be mature, reflective and patient enough to solve your issues on your own time while you enjoy trying to contribute to nurturing a new relationship.

I can tell you right now the main thing that will make me back out of a relationship is when I female just can't stop tearing herself down and try to bring me down to her level of insecurity, low self-esteem, and anxiety. I don't have time for that shit. I work hard at maintaining my sanity and resolving my issues one day at a time. The least I expect from a significant other is to do the same instead of expecting me to rescue her and hold her up all the damn time.
DDouble said
quote:


I'm curious.

Is there any brother here that could have raised these questions and gotten any substantive discussion? Is there any where on this board where these questions could have been posted to get substantive discussion?

(Please note: substantive discussion does not imply agreement; it only implies a willingness to present sound arguments pro & con to the question at hand)

Is there a format for men to postulate & analyze women's actions & choices that will actually nurture a non-flame fest discussion?



wel wel

come on in and "nurture" a discussion D!
quote:
Originally posted by Ohblackbutterfly:

They can't STAND to be manless, they can't STAND to take a breather in between relationships, and they aren't satisfied with self or anything else until their official status is "I'm somebody's woman".


Hence the reason why so many women will keep a brother(s) waiting in the wings. Obviously it goes both ways - men are known to have dated several women at the same time. Hell - I do it myself but the point is this: I admit to doing it. But many women lie or are in denial about their extracurricular activities and may even try to justify their reason for dating several guys at the same time.

You don't just break up with a guy and then the next day you're already in love with another dude and driving his car unless you already have that shit planned out. There ain't nothing wrong with it but just admit to it. You know how sisters do: "Oh he is such a good friend that always listens to me and never raises his voice and always knows the right thing to say." Yeah. Right.

The brother waiting in the wings is only being a sister's armchair psychologist and confidant in hopes that one day he'll get the panties. Thing is, we experienced brothers know the game sisters play and will play 'dumb' and coy right along with them. But sisters brainwash themselves in to believing that everything that happens between herself and the dude waiting in the wings is all just a series of coincidental events. Something like: "Oh I was just minding my own business one day, slipped on a banana peel and fell right on his dick. Yeah. Right. Or the infamous line: "It just......happened..." *cue the tears*

Problem is, when sisters keep priming dudes to be their next band aid relationship they never give themselves the opportunity to clear their minds. You have a lot of brothers out there that mimic the behavior of a shark - they can sense a sister in distress and home right in on her. Sisters don't realize this but brothers get together and do their homework on women too. They compare notes and study the behavior patterns and habits of women they're interested in. They know how to start up a conversation that will lead to a woman telling all of her business - a sort of passive pursuit. And many women are naive and gullible enough to fall for it. They're looking for the next dude to spill their troubles upon so he can rescue her and when that happens it's all over.

Case in point: I met a sister a while back at a bookstore. We got to talking and I sensed from her eye contact, the tone in her voice, and how she went out of her way to be friendly that she was attracted to me. I struck up the right conversation and she told me she was on the brink of breaking up with her boyfriend. I didn't fall for the trap and kept moving on. About a year later I ran into the same sister at the same bookstore and decided to test my damsel in distress syndrome theory. It was a win/win situation - if I was wrong and she truly took the time to break up and reflect, then I would win a date. If I was right and she was already with another dude my theory of her exploiting the damsel in distres syndrome would be true.

She was her same semi-flirtatious self and even asked how my personal life had been going. I gave a general response, which at the time I wasn't seeing anyone anyways because I was moving to another city the next month. She had already hooked up with another dude and was already smitten with him, yet she still offered to keep the back door open for me. Nah - I pass.
quote:
Originally posted by Romulus Burnett:
quote:
Originally posted by Ohblackbutterfly:

~Well, I've heard 1 and 2 used quite often, but I don't think I've ever heard of the third one being admitted to.


Yes I've come across women that have admitted to #3. Some of them are so emotionally wrecked they ask me questions like these in the early stages of dating: "What if you don't like me?" or "What do you see in me?" or "Why would you be interested in me?" These questions are usually followed after the fourth or fifth encounter by the infamous statement: "You treat me so well and I'm not used to it."

It's one thing to have a low self-esteem it's quite another to project it so shamelessly that it kills a mans' attraction to a woman. Speaking for myself I may question if a relationship is going to last or not in my head but I'm certainly not going to vocalize it. This is where women use the cop-out that men don't communicate. Some things should be communicated while others simply just need to stay under wraps. Be mature, reflective and patient enough to solve your issues on your own time while you enjoy trying to contribute to nurturing a new relationship.

I can tell you right now the main thing that will make me back out of a relationship is when I female just can't stop tearing herself down and try to bring me down to her level of insecurity, low self-esteem, and anxiety. I don't have time for that shit. I work hard at maintaining my sanity and resolving my issues one day at a time. The least I expect from a significant other is to do the same instead of expecting me to rescue her and hold her up all the damn time.



~ munch ATPWordPro should show your posts on this topic to his female family member that he mentioned. munch~
quote:
Originally posted by Romulus Burnett:
Why do so many black women have an excuse for everything they do wrong in their relationships?
It's human nature to want to paint yourself in a flattering life and minimize flaws. I wouldn't say that's a man or woman thing per se.

They keep falling for the same no good negroes and the excuses are:

1. "You can't help who you fall in love with."
I would agree with this statement to the exclusion of a mate's habits and traits hazardous to one's mental and physical health.

2. "There are no good black men left" when you know good and got damn well that ain't true.
The definition of "good" is unclear and too variable to justify the generalization.

3. "Good men are so hard to find we don't know how to act when a good one does come along."
See above. Additionally, I believe a person at peace with themselves has no problems receiving a "good" mate.

Why do women not only defend but also look for sympathy for making their poor decisions yet ridicule and criticize men for making the same if not similar poor decisions? Too many women act as if the women that choose these sorry ass men are helpless and powerless in the situation like women are wild animals or mindless livestock. Why are so many sisters so incapable of making sound decisions when dealing with brothers? At the very least it's understandable that people make mistakes. But when you keep making the same mistakes with the same brother(s) who is really to blame?

When it comes to ridiculing brothers sisters always like to use that line: "You are what you attract", so what does that make the black women that keep on attracting the same abusive, lazy, neglectful, unemployed or underemployed or unemployable, irresponsible dudes? Somebody tell me what's up.


Interesting, I'd love to see more female thoughts on this. Don't trip on the manner in which the thoughts are stated, focus on the actual points raised for discussion.
quote:
Originally posted by OhBlackButterfly:
quote:
Originally posted by Romulus Burnett:
quote:
Originally posted by Ohblackbutterfly:

~Well, I've heard 1 and 2 used quite often, but I don't think I've ever heard of the third one being admitted to.


Yes I've come across women that have admitted to #3. Some of them are so emotionally wrecked they ask me questions like these in the early stages of dating: "What if you don't like me?" or "What do you see in me?" or "Why would you be interested in me?" These questions are usually followed after the fourth or fifth
{SNIP-for space}



~ munch ATPWordPro should show your posts on this topic to his female family member that he mentioned. munch~


Actually, I'm a girl. 1

And I'm walking a thin line with this person and various issues. If I press too much, she'll pull away and not tell me stuff.
quote:
Originally posted by ATPWordPro:
quote:
Originally posted by OhBlackButterfly:
quote:
Originally posted by Romulus Burnett:
quote:
Originally posted by Ohblackbutterfly:

~Well, I've heard 1 and 2 used quite often, but I don't think I've ever heard of the third one being admitted to.


Yes I've come across women that have admitted to #3. Some of them are so emotionally wrecked they ask me questions like these in the early stages of dating: "What if you don't like me?" or "What do you see in me?" or "Why would you be interested in me?" These questions are usually followed after the fourth or fifth
{SNIP-for space}



~ munch ATPWordPro should show your posts on this topic to his female family member that he mentioned. munch~


Actually, I'm a girl. 1

And I'm walking a thin line with this person and various issues. If I press too much, she'll pull away and not tell me stuff.


That's why you have to just let them learn for themselves but that's just the point; They don't know how to learn for themselves. So they keep making the same mistakes and keep blaming the same circumstances on everyone else but themselves.

In my opinion losing her trust in you isn't much of a loss. If it were me and I tried to help the female and she refused to listen or didn't want to tell me anymore of her business she would be doing me a favor not a diservice. I have two sisters - one continuously refuses to listen to reason and has paid for it continuously. The other sister has finally decided to listen. Not that I think I'm a know-it-all but many times you can't see what's right in front of you and it takes a third opinion to get a better perspective.

ATP, I have dropped a lot of females from my list of friends that refused to listen because that shit is stressful when you see someone keep making the same mistakes and being hurt in the process. At some point it ceases being a mistake and turns into a situation of a woman and actually enjoying the misery she brings upon herself. There's a psychological term for that behavioral condition but it escapes me at the moment. But your best bet is to stand your ground and take the chance and tell her what's up instead of listening to her garbage all the time.
quote:
Originally posted by negrospiritual:
sleep sleep sleep


Actually, it seems there's more women that are in agreement with this topic than opposed excluding the usual suspects like oshun and kalleekwa. The silence of others also speaks volumes. The mere fact that any women appeared at all to express their concerns in accordance with the topic that has been raised proves that you need to have a seat and chill out with all that insidious "rabbit feminism" or what can be more clearly defined as feminazi behavior.

wel
quote:
Originally posted by ladyj:
quote:
Originally posted by OhBlackButterfly:
quote:
Originally posted by EbonyRose:
Preach it, sister! appl

But you prolly finda catch hell for it! Eek lol


~ tongue You think so? 16...Naaaaah.~

what have these women on here been doing to you guys that OBB's honest response is so shocking? Confused 8


You're witnessing what has gone on for quite some time on this discussion board, Ladyj. Some sisters on this board, sisters like (and yes I will call out names), negrospiritual, oshun auset, kaliqua, kocoliscious, and a few others that have this afro-feminazi attitude about brothers and, particularly, brothers that date/marry outside of their race. And that's just the tip of the iceburg. You don't have to take my word for it. Just look through their personal posts histories. the way they have targeted brothers like myself, RadioRaheem, Huey and others and tried to subversively propagandize, demonize, manipulate, control, attack, and dominate conversations pertaining to women, dating and relationships all under the auspice of defending sisterhood on AA.org - a bunch of bullshit if you ask me.

Notice negrospiritual's response to my topic as well as the lack of responses from any of the usual suspects of sisters that usually plague topics such as this. However, in my other thread entitled: "Dear Kaliqua" it's stretched on to its seventh page - full of cowards that post under "guest" names because they're afraid of tainting their reputation as upstanding people on AA.org - another load of bullshit - so they can attack and insult. They're (the afro-feminazis) all looking rather precariously at Ohblackbutterfly's response to my topic because they've all collectively denied, ignored, and marginalized topics such as this and they're wondering why a sister has deviated from the usual feminazi dogma and exposed their secrets of ignorance and stupidity. We need more sisters on this board with a more objective state of mind rather than the same old subjective, biased opinions of bitter, jaded women that try to discourage and derail the discussion of topics like this.
Last edited {1}
quote:
Originally posted by ladyj:
quote:
Originally posted by OhBlackButterfly:
quote:
Originally posted by EbonyRose:
Preach it, sister! appl

But you prolly finda catch hell for it! Eek lol


~ tongue You think so? 16...Naaaaah.~

what have these women on here been doing to you guys that OBB's honest response is so shocking? Confused 8


You ask that question and you see for yourself the answer you're looking for in this very thread. On this site if you point out a black woman's flaws and if you aren't seen showering every black woman on this site and around the world with compliments and your undying unconditional allegiance to them you're instantly labeled as anti-black. And once you cross that line you can never go back. I'm famous for crossing that line, which is why I love my tag so much: I'd rather be hated for what I am than loved for what I'm not.


Sisters demand for brothers to step up to the plate, man up, and get educated, civilized, and to be emotionally, spiritually and economically viable but when a brother does so, more often than not, he runs into the situation of sisters that are not ready for brothers of that caliber. It doesn't matter that brothers of that caliber are few in number, therby, being overlooked or ignored. What matters is they exist.



But at the same time, with myself being a brother of that caliber, you run into a large number of sisters that have had one or more children out of wedlock. Right off the top by my standards that sister has eliminated herself from my pool of eligible women. I don't have any children out of wedlock so why should I marry a woman that has children? It's not my fault that woman had children by another man and no one sure as hell isn't going to award me some kind of merit badge or a winning lottery ticket for doing so. But that makes me a low down dirty bastard because I don't want to take up the responsibility of raising another man's child(ren)? And on top of that have to deal with a dude that all of a sudden wants to become a responsible father just for the sake of throwing salt on my relationship? Please. Been there and done that and I refuse to go down that road again. I'm responsible enough not to get a woman pregnant, therefore, I would prefer a woman of the same yoke.

Also, contrary to popular belief, there are a lot of sisters out there that aren't financially stable. They aren't educated and their line of employment is not secure. If I have worked hard enough to become financially secure as well as attain a certain level of credentials that will ensure a certain level of gainful employment, then I feel I deserve a woman of equal yokeness.

Contrary to popular belief there are sisters out there that haven't bothered to expose themselves to the finer things in life. To put it bluntly some sisters aren't cultured. Therefore, many of them are intimidated or turned off by a brother that is. I was raised by a cultured mama, therefore, it's hardwired in my mind to be cultured. Am I supposed to deny myself of what comes naturally to me and marry a sister just for the sake of marrying a sister even though she is uncultured? I think not. My question to the audience and to the black community is why should I marry down or lower my standards just for the sake of having a black woman?

Sisters have always come first and foremost all of my life but the time has come in my life where I refuse to be ignored, marginalized, and denied or lower my standards because I'm the exception to the rule. Perhaps if I lived in metro D.C. or Baltimore or somewhere of that nature I would come in contact with more like-minded, equally yoked sisters. However, my career has pointed me in the direction where I currently reside. Should I confine myself to a life of celibacy? Hell no. I'm not the Salvation Army or the Red Cross or a social services agency. I am just a man. It is not my responsiblity to raise another man's child(ren) nor is it my responsibility to culturally enlighten a grown ass woman, particularly, if that woman isn't receptive to being cultured. I will continue my search for an equally yoked woman - not a black woman or a white woman or a hispanic woman but a woman - period.
Last edited {1}
quote:
Originally posted by Romulus Burnett:

You're witnessing what has gone on for quite some time on this discussion board, Ladyj. Some sisters on this board, sisters like (and yes I will call out names), negrospiritual, oshun auset, kaliqua, kocoliscious, and a few others that have this afro-feminazi attitude about brothers and, particularly, brothers that date/marry outside of their race. And that's just the tip of the iceburg. You don't have to take my word for it. Just look through their personal posts histories. the way they have targeted brothers like myself, RadioRaheem, Huey and others


This really isn't the pragmatic approach to a difference of opinion, now is it? It's hardly necessary to blow a gasket when discussing the pro-black woman stance of some posters within our cyber community. It's so wildly exaggerated that I'm quite stunned at the irrationality of it all.

Alas, some truths must be told to provide proper context for the ranting and raving that is displayed here.

1. 65% of Negrospiritual's posts are in Issues & Politics, where the majority of Romulus, Raheem, and other assorted sista-basher's posts are not. The rest are distributed mainly in Sista Spot with a few sprinkles here and there in other sections. The bulk of NS posts being located in Issues & Politics lessens the likelihood of some sort of "targeting of certain brothas" where incidentally, they are not posting.

2. When anti-black female posts appeared in relationship threads, NS, did not respond to Romulus. NS does not frequently post there.

3. When anti-black female posts appeared in the Den, NS did not respond to Romulus. NS posts there on rare occasions.

4. When pics of Anushka Shankar, and other nonblack women were worshipped by some, NS provided the obligatory eye roll icon, and moved on.

5. When pictures of the required apple bottom booty type for sistas were posted for discussion among the brothas, NS provided the obligatory eye roll icon, and moved on leaving the brothas to discuss such things among themselves in peace.

6. When short fiction re: sexual escapades with a Puerto Rican woman appeared, featuring a booty shorts clad ass shot, NS did not decry this.

7. When the medical issues surrounded Crohn's disease and the struggle for appropriate treatment was posted, NS was sympathetic/supportive.

8. When it was evident that a big ruckus regarding psychotherapy and medication would soon erupt, NS took a neutral stance to steer the discussion back to the topic at hand, the wellbeing of a fellow poster.

9. When some sista-bashing brothas questioned where o where in the world??? could they "nurture a discussion" about black women and their choices in a substantive manner without being attacked, NS was even kind enough to post a link to this very discussion which includes some sistas receptive to having the discussion without attacking said posters.

In fact, the only posts with much conflict, or interaction for that matter have been, (A) the MartinLeeAnderson post where it was emphatically stated that there was no sympathy to be had for the death of a 14yr old black MALE child in the hands of florida bootcamp drill instructors; and(B)the Dear Kalliqa post which violated the spirit of sistaspot by daring to use aggressive lyrics and language toward a sista IN SISTASPOT, instead of uplifting sistas, challenging them ernestly, or leaving them alone. Although that thread was moved to the big house, additional black-woman haters have glommed onto it, demanding that they be catered to, while a sista is being attacked. I have responded to them as negrospiritual, and other names while I'm on other computers including "NS", "NS AT WORK" and guest names emphasizing the point being made to black-women haters, such as "Crystal Clear Agenda Seer".


While, I cannot presume to speak for whether sistas Oshun, Kalliqa, and Kocolicious actually are feminists or womanists or neither, I'm honored to be mentioned in the same sentence with them. I know they care about the wellbeing of Black Women. However, I'm saddened at the level of exaggeration and hyperbole which was employed to make it seem as though a brotha were being victimized, in spite of constantly spewing venomous anti-black woman sentiment.

Hopefully, when the highly charged, highly excitable atmosphere being manufactured has dissipated somewhat, participants who are nurturing this long awaited discussion can get back to less emotional exchanges. 5
Last edited {1}
quote:
Originally posted by negrospiritual:
quote:
Originally posted by Romulus Burnett:

You're witnessing what has gone on for quite some time on this discussion board, Ladyj. Some sisters on this board, sisters like (and yes I will call out names), negrospiritual, oshun auset, kaliqua, kocoliscious, and a few others that have this afro-feminazi attitude about brothers and, particularly, brothers that date/marry outside of their race. And that's just the tip of the iceburg. You don't have to take my word for it. Just look through their personal posts histories. the way they have targeted brothers like myself, RadioRaheem, Huey and others


This really isn't the pragmatic approach to a difference of opinion, now is it? It's hardly necessary to blow a gasket when discussing the pro-black woman stance of some posters within our cyber community. It's so wildly exaggerated that I'm quite stunned at the irrationality of it all.

Alas, some truths must be told to provide proper context for the ranting and raving that is displayed here.

1. 65% of Negrospiritual's posts are in Issues & Politics, where the majority of Romulus, Raheem, and other assorted sista-basher's posts are not. The rest are distributed mainly in Sista Spot with a few sprinkles here and there in other sections. The bulk of NS posts being located in Issues & Politics lessens the likelihood of some sort of "targeting of certain brothas" where incidentally, they are not posting.

2. When anti-black female posts appeared in relationship threads, NS, did not respond to Romulus. NS does not frequently post there.

3. When anti-black female posts appeared in the Den, NS did not respond to Romulus. NS posts there on rare occasions.

4. When pics of Anushka Shankar, and other nonblack women were worshipped by some, NS provided the obligatory eye roll icon, and moved on.

5. When pictures of the required apple bottom booty type for sistas were posted for discussion among the brothas, NS provided the obligatory eye roll icon, and moved on leaving the brothas to discuss such things among themselves in peace.

6. When short fiction re: sexual escapades with a Puerto Rican woman appeared, featuring a booty shorts clad ass shot, NS did not decry this.

7. When the medical issues surrounded Crohn's disease and the struggle for appropriate treatment was posted, NS was sympathetic/supportive.

8. When it was evident that a big ruckus regarding psychotherapy and medication would soon erupt, NS took a neutral stance to steer the discussion back to the topic at hand, the wellbeing of a fellow poster.

9. When some sista-bashing brothas questioned where o where in the world??? could they "nurture a discussion" about black women and their choices in a substantive manner without being attacked, NS was even kind enough to post a link to this very discussion which includes some sistas receptive to having the discussion without attacking said posters.

In fact, the only posts with much conflict, or interaction for that matter have been, (A) the MartinLeeAnderson post where it was emphatically stated that there was no sympathy to be had for the death of a 14yr old black MALE child in the hands of florida bootcamp drill instructors; and(B)the Dear Kalliqa post which violated the spirit of sistaspot by daring to use aggressive lyrics and language toward a sista IN SISTASPOT, instead of uplifting sistas, challenging them ernestly, or leaving them alone. Although that thread was moved to the big house, additional black-woman haters have glommed onto it, demanding that they be catered to, while a sista is being attacked. I have responded to them as negrospiritual, and other names while I'm on other computers including "NS", "NS AT WORK" and guest names emphasizing the point being made to black-women haters, such as "Crystal Clear Agenda Seer".


While, I cannot presume to speak for whether sistas Oshun, Kalliqa, and Kocolicious actually are feminists or womanists or neither, I'm honored to be mentioned in the same sentence with them. I know they care about the wellbeing of Black Women. However, I'm saddened at the level of exaggeration and hyperbole which was employed to make it seem as though a brotha were being victimized, in spite of constantly spewing venomous anti-black woman sentiment.

Hopefully, when the highly charged, highly excitable atmosphere being manufactured has dissipated somewhat, participants who are nurturing this long awaited discussion can get back to less emotional exchanges. 5


sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep
Wasn't me... 13

At any rate, this is one of those "Your results may vary" type threads.

Personally, the type of African-American women you describe have been a small minority of my dating experience.

I understand what's frustrating about trying to engage in these topics with some women. It's the same thing that can make it frustrating to date some women.

Our women have been raised to be self-sufficient and hyper-independent. Independence and self-sufficiency are great qualities to posess, when they are in balance. Romantic relationships require interdependency, but any type of "need" or acknowledgement of fault is often viewed as weak or allowing yourself to be subjugated.

If a woman wishes to be happily single, that is her right. If she wishes to have a happy romantic relationship, she must be willing to allow her partner a reasonable & fair opportunity to earn her trust.
quote:
Originally posted by ddouble:
Wasn't me... 13

At any rate, this is one of those "Your results may vary" type threads.

Actually my results didn't vary. I got exactly the answer I was looking for. I asked simple, straight forward questions and got simple, straight forward answers.

Personally, the type of African-American women you describe have been a small minority of my dating experience.

From personal experience I can go to places like D.C., North Carolina (Durham), Philly, and New Jersey and pull sisters all-damn-day. But in certain areas of the South I just don't get the same kind of reaction mainly because a lot of sisters in the South get married and knocked up very quickly, whereas, more often than not, I've run into a lot of sisters in D.C. and Philly that not only had never had any kids they had also never been married. Also, from my experience, sisters in the South want to beat around the damn bush too much and play games, whereas, sisters up North prefer to cut to the chase. Many sisters in the South won't deal with you unless they know you through a family member or someone they're familiar with in the community, whereas many Northern sisters have jumped me right on the spot.


If a woman wishes to be happily single, that is her right. If she wishes to have a happy romantic relationship, she must be willing to allow her partner a reasonable & fair opportunity to earn her trust.

See, this is where I usually say "fuck it" and move on. I ain't got no damn time for a sister to observe me for several months before she decides its safe to proceed and actually talk to me. If she's that emotionally damaged I don't want to get involved with her anyway. They go through too many damn withdrawal symptoms, anxiety attacks, and shell shock.

As I've always said I have my share of issues too but I'm not suspicious of every woman I meet like some kind of paranoid ex-con that's afraid of violating his parole. I don't know where you're meeting your women, ddouble, but I would love to come in contact with a sister on my level that wasn't an emotional wreck or a charity case or paranoid. Perhaps it's my fault - I treat women how I want to be treated and in the process perhaps I just give them too much of a good thing.


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Some sisters on this board, sisters like (and yes I will call out names), negrospiritual, oshun auset, kaliqua, kocoliscious, and a few others that have this afro-feminazi attitude...


fro I just noticed this. And I want to respond by saying loudly. HEY HEY HEY.....I'm not IN this. But as I said before, IF I WORRIED ABOUT WHAT FOLKS THOUGHT ABOUT ME....I WOULD HAVE SHOT MYSELF LONG AGO. Having said, I have deliberately REFRAIN from getting involved in unproductive conversation that is soley CONJECTURE. I promised myself I would not ENGAGE back and forth with rhetoric or BULLSHYTE. I am sooooooooo proud of myself cuz I kept my WORD. Please DO NOT PUT ME IN your spews. I have NOT mentioned ANYONE'S name [including those I REALLY DON'T CARE FOR] in terms of how I VIEW THEM-For a reason! Some things are better left unsaid. AND I CAN SAY a lot BUT I don't cuz this is cyberspace yall....not the REAL WORLD. And those who run their mouths for sake of hearing their own voice or seeing their words in print...is wasting precious BRAIN CELLS. And most importantly....DON'T HAVE A LIFE! [This is it for them]...how tragic. They need to USE this restless energy to change someone's life on the positive side in REAL LIFE! Discussion boards are just that...DISCUSSION BOARDS. No more....no less. Unfortuately there is a LOT of FOLKS in here who DON'T know the difference. And that's toooooo sad. Folks really need to CHILL and recognize where they are....on the real side. If you are soooo angry in here...I can just imagine how you are in the REAL WORLD. PITIFUL.... fro
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Some sisters on this board, sisters like (and yes I will call out names), negrospiritual, oshun auset, kaliqua, kocoliscious, and a few others that have this afro-feminazi attitude about brothers and, particularly, brothers that date/marry outside of their race. And that's just the tip of the iceburg. You don't have to take my word for it. Just look through their personal posts histories. the way they have targeted brothers like myself, RadioRaheem, Huey and others


fro for the record...I don't recall EVER saying anything mean/or anti to Brotha Huey. He is one of the FEW gentlemen on this board. He has his own unique view/perception/opinion and has ALWAYS expressed it a respectful manner. And when he is passionate about a particular issue.....he doesn't go there with rudeness, anger or discourtesy. If he has, I never saw it or took it that way. So.....WRONG AGAINRoll Eyes fro

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