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quote:
Originally posted by Madness:
My man Fred just broke up with his wife of ten years. He's drowning in sorrow and I don't know how to help him because I don't do serious commited relationships. I have friends some with benefits and some without. anybody got advice I can pass on?


Tell him.....

to move on.....

quickly.......

remaining stagnant....

makes you a target for other people to take advantage of you or for your own depression to spread like a virus.....

move....

throw yourself into something that makes you feel worth while.....



Peace,
Virtue
quote:
Originally posted by Madness:
My man Fred just broke up with his wife of ten years. He's drowning in sorrow and I don't know how to help him because I don't do serious commited relationships. I have friends some with benefits and some without. anybody got advice I can pass on?



Unfortunatedly, your friend must deal with his pain... pain doesn't just go away magically by doing something else... not after ending a 10 year marriage... like if your friend sustained a serious physical wound... ignoring it won't make it go away... there are only things we can do to help the healing process.

You can be there to listen. And if you were a true friend you wouldn't turn your back on him should he need that.
quote:
Originally posted by HonestBrother:

Unfortunatedly, your friend must deal with his pain... pain doesn't just go away magically by doing something else... not after ending a 10 year marriage... like if your friend sustained a serious physical wound... ignoring it won't make it go away... there are only things we can do to help the healing process.

You can be there to listen. And if you were a true friend you wouldn't turn your back on him should he need that.

I feel I must respond.....

I've been in a relationship that has ended....

we were together for 12 years.....

so.....

a wound to the body is not like a wound to the heart......

or the break up of a long term relationship.....

its not something that needs to be tended....

often that tends to feed the emotions....

it is best in situations like these.....

to find something to do..... because rehearsing the life of a dead person is an exercise in torture...... the person's not coming back..... or you're not going back....

as quickly as the grieving process can end..... the better.....

this I know from experience....

not theory.....


Peace,
Virtue
I am speaking from my own experience. I've never been married. But I have been in long term rrelationships. Yes it would be great if the pain ended quickly... and yes there are things you can do to help the healing process - like not rehearsing the same thoughts in your mind... and yes doing other things can help us to adjust... but I still find the analogy to a physical wound quite appropriate... It will heal in its own time whether we like it or not...

Grief is a process that must be respected...

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