Brotha RR wrote:
++I will have to disagree with you here. Men will deal with the topic head on, but as you might imagine, women don't want to hear the male point of view on many topics...that's why Steve Harvey's books have sales in the three to four million ranges. This also is the reason why Tyler Perry movies are so successful. Black Women are big fans of pandering.
Well...of course you're gonna say this my brotha because you are MALE. And can't possibly think like a woman.
And there lies the problem.
Steve Harvey's may be popular with some young women...but! I disagree with some of assessment and this MAN has been married THREE times. So...And the third with having an affair while still being married to his two. So...anything he has to say on this subject in my view is premediated.
+++But many women are childless and manless AND still angry about that....you can't blame solely for her anger. Black Men have been caring for their families...before 1964...I'll get the real reasons why so many Black women are angry at the bottom of this reply...just you wait....
This is correct my brotha. Many women are childless generationally. Let's look at that. Generationally. So this means this behavior has been passed from father to son to father to son...get me?
++Doesn't belong in Black Culutre?? huh??
I'm sorry my brotha. This is a psychological term to depict the power and authority of who is in control within the dynamic of culture. Just like Native Americans and Indigenous people in South America, Australia and the Islands....their culture [once] lead by the Marticarch...the female. In other societies such as Europe and Asia, the culture is lead by the male. And so in our culture it was a mutual and shared power system by both male and female. This dynamics collapsed during the invasion of the Hyksos in Egypt. Dyntasies before Arab and European slavery. Because we were forced to adapt to the partiarchal system of ruuning our household and lives...it has been MET with difficulty ever since. Now the Native American could adapt cuz 95% of their culture were destroyed. So the 5% left had little problem accepting a new way of living cuz it was a matter of life and death. But us? Not so much. We are still having difficulty and it is because of what I explained above. In otherwords, it is not in our DNA.
+++Some good points, but I think you aren't getting to the meat of the matter...it's deeper than that though!!!
Yes it is deeper than that. It is because this issue is generational. And if you look back in our history in this country, you will see it. It is hard doing so in today's world and present black male mentality cuz the brothas have created their own reasoning to deal with what have been done for their family unit. A lotta of it isn't their fault. But once you know, it's your responsibility to do better. And that haven't happed enough to make a real difference in our culture. If it had, it wouldn't be as many brothas in prisons and trying to hold control over streets clearly not their own.
+++But these prison and street dudes are RARELY without a woman in their lives?? Please explain?
Oh you're saying that the brothas in prison have women? You can't be thinking of prison wives? Tell me you're not...please? That's a whole DIFFERENT story. And those brothas in the streets and in prison are primarily USING women for their financial benefit. No?
Okay. Maybe I should be MORE clear....I'm not referring to hoodrats i.e. thugs and criminals per se...I am talking about Black men who before they go to prison or turn to the streets for self-identity have chosen not to deal with the deep issues in their family dynamics.
++After reading what you wrote, I didn't see any personal responsibly from the women for their anger. When will Blk women take personal responsibility for their life (bad) choices?
This really isn't a "blame game" my brotha. More of what went wrong with our culture as a whole. Massa has created that blame game scenrio for a distraction away from the psychological system he created for our continued failure. You don't see this my brotha? That's where crabs in the barrell phase came from.
Do you know that there are many Blk women that are in college that date men in prison and on the street...as a PREFERENCE(why not date a military man or a man in college?).
The bad boy persona has been implemented in American culture since the Jewish and Italian mafia during the Great Migration. So again this is generational. Can't express why women are lured by the bad boy image. It could be a mirroring of their own discretion and self-identifiy flaw. I dunno.
One of the major issues that Blk women are having right now in relationships are related to their preference to date down (I WANT A THUG/STREET NINJA)and daddy issues (Momma "You daddy aint ISH!" and "All Blk Men aint ISH"). This leads to the anger issues (nasty attitude) and self fulfilling prophecy, as far as I can tell from my experiences and apparently most other brothers out there!!!. This phase is usually followed by the babymomma phase (age variable due to the teen mothering that is rampant right now in the hood...among hood people...that term is just for you sunnubian!!) where the single mother has an even worse time of male interaction because alot of the available dudes that are progressive and prosperous usually avoid women with ready made families and babydaddy baggage. This long time phase, which is a very long due to the moms need to think she can be the "mother and the father" for her kids, is followed by the extra bitter damaged woman who has been manless unless she like dating homeless men.
I agree. This is a set up for failure...but! Women don't see it while they are participating in it. They do not have the ability to see outside of it. It is a form of immaturity and a lot of folks are guilty of that including massa and his children. So. This is NOT exclusive to us however.
The main reason for the urban breakdown of the black family is directly related to welfare policies which require black father leave the home for the benefits to kick in. This "safety net" was soon basterdized into a "single mom empowerment" tool This began in 1964/5. prior to that the Blk family was strong. this later led to the .creation of dirty hood people and hoodrats. We are at a critical mass and this setup will soon explode (cuts i funding have already begun).
The inital reason for welfare was for white families during the depression and then later it was discovered that America could control black people's progress by separating men from the women in an effort to delay or prevent social advancement in black culture. I have news for you my brotha, the black gangsta was in the streets during zoot suit days of Malcolm X and before. So the scene you are describing has been around since and before the 1920s.
My advice to black women that want better resuts...stop dating down, dont be afraid of a brother that has his ISH together, seek counseling to resolve any anger/nasty attitude/daddy issues, and know that a man seeks peace of mind with his lady (I did say LADY...not babymomma...girlfriend..or woman....LADY is the key!!!)
I agree that counseling is the key....but! It is the key for BOTH black men and women. Both have anger issues toward each other. And both are blindsided by the white propaganda that has been implemented in our culture since the civil war. We need to lay everything on the table and refrain from using the "blame game." That is a social TOOL that massa has used against us since slavery. So if brothas wanna continue to say that black women are just angry for no other reason than being upset that they cannot find a decent black man or if black women are gonna continue to say that it's black men's fault that we are not as advanced in keeping up with the joneses or not staying with them or whatever the "trend blame" today, then we are NEVER ever gonna settle this. And while we are still fighting each other and not paying attention, other cultures are gonna slip behind us and take WHAT is OURS[they are doing it NOW). They are gonna benefit from what our forefathers/mothers have died for all the while we are standing blaming and accussing. And that within itself is a social and cultural tragedy. But!