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quote:
Originally posted by mizzmercedes:
This is reality. They are either one of three...dead, lockedup, military eek or on the arms of white women.

"Revolution Starts Between the Ears"


And what is wrong with a brother in the military. Most military officers have advanced degrees (necessary for promotion) and have skills that when applied in the civilian sector equal usually high paying salaries and good jobs.

I just wonder having been an Air Force Officer. Alot of brothers where I was stationed were married to sisters who obiviously enjoyed the life that a military man provided and were very supportive of their spouses.

Of course not every women is up to being the spouse of a serviceman. It ain't easy.
quote:
BUT, I have NEVER heard a woman who had her own thing together do either of the above. I have yet to hear a "dime-piece" tell me about a shortage, or complain about interracial couples.

this "dime-piece" (not a dime a dozen, but a very rare dime lost in the jungle of fever) is complaining about BOTH!
do i have it together--yes!!
does seeing what appears to be a quality black man with a white woman bother me--yes!!

there ya go VOX, you have now heard(read) it from a dime....if you need pictures or references, i have both. wink

those who stand for nothing fall for anything
LOL. I guess you showed me!

No disrespect was intended, by the way. I can't speak on women I don't know personally. But those I have known personally, who complain about the problems with the men they don't have or can't find, always seem to have some major problems that they need to work out about themselves. Problem is, THEY don't seem to think so. They always think they're all that; that they can't be the problem, it must be the men. After all, black print media tells them so, every month.

(The fact that they ALWAYS seem to look past the brother who's by himself doesn't lend them a whole lot of credibility, either, by the way.)
quote:
Originally posted by little minx:
interesting. the same could be said of black men. a black man who knows how to treat a woman, can be happy with one. if black women are difficult for him to handle time and again, maybe he should ask what HE'S doing that makes black women so offensive. a man with his stuff together probably doesn't complain that a woman only wants him for ends. because he has them. a man who is the head of his household, probably doesn't complain that the woman is trying to override him.

a "dime piece" is just that. a dime a dozen. when was the last time you heard a "dime piece" having a long term relationship with a black man? maybe they don't have problems getting dates because that's all their looking for. a date. see what happens when a "dime piece" wants to get married

[This message was edited by little minx on August 13, 2002 at 08:40 PM.]


By "dime piece," I meant a woman who was a complete package. I'm not just talking about looks.

And actually, I've seen LOTS of great black women in long term relationships with black men. I'm involved with one myself, as a matter of fact.

Otherwise, I agree with your post. If I hear one more weak, broken down, loser man tell me that they date white women because the black women are "too tough," or "too loud," or "too ignorant"...

I haven't dated much. I've always been the guy who takes a deep breath before approaching a woman, and in those valuable seconds some other dude gets to her first. So you would think that I don't have "my pick" of women. Yet, the women I HAVE dated have almost NEVER been "that type." They have always been beautiful, delicate, strong, tasteful, elegant, intelligent, and articulate. If these are the women that I, who has never had an easy time getting women, get with, then that tells me that you attract those women with whom you have stuff in common, just like your friendships.

Therefore, I concluded a long time ago that a black man who says he only runs into black women who are "ignorant, uncouth" types is either ignorant and uncouth himself, or he's LYING in order to justify why he's more attracted to white women.

The lesson here: handle yourSELF, and the opposite sex will follow.
This topic,has to be,by far the most anti white stuff I have ever seen. whats wrong with a white dating a black? The black community claims to want fair treatment,equal rights,to be seen the same as everyone else,but doesn't practice the same views. When I would see a white woman with a black man,and hear people talk about HER,I would be pissed,and disheartened. I felt sorry for the black man,how he must feel. Now,I see that the black community disowns him as well. What a shame. I am even getting the feeling that dating a white woman is a step down,where is the equallity now?
@factoid.

becasue you are not a black female, i do not expect you to understand this topic. this is relevent within OUR community, and an issue that has no racist intent. I believe all through this thread and the others like it on this message board--all AA.org members agree that LOVE is LOVE and bottom line, no one can or should mess with that.

I am going to go out on a limb here to say that you as a white man would not even begin to be able to understand what it is like to be a Black Woman in America today, becaue I won't ever be able to know what it's like to be a white man (nor do i want to).

quote:
Now,I see that the black community disowns him as well.


no one has disowned anyone. read the entire thread. all we are trying to do is understand why and support each other in a time when it seems that "we" (black women) are not the choice of the day.

those who stand for nothing fall for anything
calling a black man "dead weight" is in now way reflective on how "hard" it is to be a black woman today. you said you have no idea how it is to be white man in todays society,and even "don't even want to know" only shows your one sided vision. I for one,would love to be a black male for a day,or longer,just to get that perspective. I wish any of you could be a white male,and go to somewhere predominatly black,just so you could see how white people are treated by blacks as well. racism works both ways my friends,and neither way is healthy for anybody
Love is blind, but be careful. Many black men say love is blind, but date outside their race on purpose. Now thats not acting as if love is blind by purposly dating outside your race. Specially in this environment where dating someone lighter/white will bring your status up.Lets keep it real.Other than status going up because the person your with, i have no problem!

This is why many black women feel when they see a brother dating outside. On top of that jealously.And I guess it makes them feel ugly. I must admit thats how i feel. Ugly- when a black men dates only white/light girls.What i cant stand are black men who date outside their race, but hate to see black women date outside their race.I HATE THAT!!!!! It seems to me some black men who will only date outside get angry because of this because they think to bring their status up they must not date black women. And they feel black women are useless and should only be with them when they need them.

Wow that was kind of harsh what i said. But its the truth!!!
hi Lea,
yes I am very familiar with those men described in the last paragraph of your post...some of those men being those that were members of the original black panthers, who are now Republican and did an about face in their views...yes..very familiar.
I ...unlike you hate to see black men with white woman because there was a time when they would hang off of trees for even looking at white women,(unnamed brothers, Emmit Till) but today, they will just throw their behinds in jail...all she has got to do is yell rape..just like back in the day..Further, i am sure you heard of Greenwood..aka "the black wallstreet" that was destroyed, burned to the ground by white men and women becasue a black many was "accused" of raping a white woman that he merely shared an elevator ride with. Black men have historically suffered and died because of some sensless belief that they wanted or were attracted to white women. Are you familiar with probition and the laws that were created in 1914. Do you know why cocaine was outlawed? Becasue it was said that when and if used by Black men, the drug made them want to go out and rape white woman.. and now...they willingly lay down with them...thats util they scream rape! Its also black men like OJ, that forget about who he is and where he is from ..oh, thats until...the white man dont love him anymore "


I hear you!!lol! Thats what i see too. Everyone says the "white man" did this and that. What about the "white woman." I admire white men for one thing, is their love for their woman. And how they think they are better!!And even when they knew they were lying about a black man raping them they would execute them.Thats love right there!To them and a lot of people white girls are goddesses. Why cant many black men think about us like that? I know the answer already brotha's, so dont answer.If you date a white girl because of status dont even talk to me/about me.
I agree. I think that limiting yourself to what you date is wrong. to only date whites,or blacks exclusivly is to me,a bit racist. I judge the person,not the race. wuzzy,you said that you love the way the white men love their women,don't speak just yet! there are plenty of white guys out there who treat their women like dirt. they are scum as well.
dearest factoid--
quote:
calling a black man "dead weight" is in now (no) way reflective on how "hard" it is to be a black woman today.

quote:
the point was she was saying "hard being black"


let me clarify, and speak for myself here...in this quote:
quote:
I am going to go out on a limb here to say that you as a white man would not even begin to be able to understand what it is like to be a Black Woman in America today, becaue I won't ever be able to know what it's like to be a white man (nor do i want to).
i was not saying that it is "hard" being a black woman, i was mearly trying to convey that because you are not of my gender and of my race, you do not know what it is like to walk around in my skin and experience the things i experience--good, bad or indifferent. And i being who i am, do not know what your experiences are as a white man. my lack of desire to be anything other than what i am does not at all make my views one-sided. i can learn about a culture, learn their language, learn their customs and still be proud to be a black woman and not desire to be "them".

@sweetwuzzy-
quote:
I admire white men for one thing, is their love for their woman. And how they think they are better!!
i think this statement is unfair to black men. it implies that white men are the only men who love their own women, and i will support black men here by saying i believe there are a lot of black men out there who love us, and think there is nothing better than us.

factoid again--
quote:
I think that limiting yourself to what you date is wrong. to only date whites,or blacks exclusivly is to me,a bit racist.

please tell me what it is if you choose to not eat meat, tell me what it is if you choose to own cats and not dogs, tell me what it is if you want paper and not plastic at the grocery store...to me those are all preferences. personal preferences that everyone has a right to. if i 'choose' to date black men and not white then that is my preference. it is not racist, there is no hatful intent towards white men. like you i judge a person by who they are on the inside as well, my difference is in who i am attracted to on the outside.
if a black man 'prefers' to date white women, more power to him. i can't change that, but i can try to understand why his preference is what it is. why he would choose to be with a woman who looks nothing like his mother, sister, cousin...(in regards to color of skin)
in understanding that i may learn something about myself and my actions as a black woman that may be feeding his choice.

this forum is not about hate, its not about one race being better than another...its about the situation we as black women see and deal with on a daily basis...and trying to support each other in the midst of it and understand how to deal with it.
how a white man's viewpoint on a black woman's issue fits in here--i dont know...but feel free to let me know.

those who stand for nothing fall for anything
And what I am saying,is the exact same thing. You can't imagine what it is being white,in this day and age,and seeing what goes on toward you,the white man. and I totally disagree with your preferences bit. I may prefer to date white women,but I wouldn't limit myself to white women exclusivly. and believe that doing so is racist. saying "I won't date a black woman" is a bit extreme,in my view.
i find it immensely interesting that a white male would even come here and read the posts and let alone write a post

factoid, i respect your effort. maybe you are trying to understand and all, and your open mindedness is sweet.

but i gotta tell you that when a white man posts that it's hard to be a white male, i don't know, i think it's like a slap in the face. it feels like you're saying "nevermind the crimes against african americans in this country...it was no worse than what i as a white man have been through" or it's like you are saying that black people who tell you that its hard to be black in a white society are lying or whining. no matter how hard it is to be a white male in the us, by your estimation, you cannot compare that to being african american.

the burden of the white male is really the white male's anger at being called on his nonsense. affirmative action, that gives one out of say 100 black people a chance (because white women benefit from it most) is seen as an affront to white people. the white folks who have a problem with it seem to think that a history of disadvantage needs not to be corrected. are you one of those people factoid? remember that you are a white man living in a white male dominated society. we are black people living in a white male dominated society. please think about that before you decide to say that it's hard to be white. you can walk into a black neighborhood, by choice, but you aren't forced to be there to make a living, or get an education. black people are forced to work and function in white dominated society all the time.
quote:
Originally posted by little minx:

the burden of the white male is really the white male's anger at being called on his nonsense.




There are times when I almost burst with glee at the profound words of our members. This is one of those times! I don't think it can be said much better than that!!! smile



Onward and Upward!
I beg to differ. Black people have the BENEFIT of crying "its because I am black" and the subject changes. At my job,you have a 90 day waiting period for your job. in that time frame,you can be fired for any reason. about 22 days into the job,she decided she wasn't going to work anymore. SO,after 2 counseling sessions,with no success,she was given the old pink slip. What did she do? she went to Human resources,said she was fired because she was black. she got her job back,and still dont' do jack. White people can't do that. they get fired,its over. as for affirmative action. thats BS. you are going to tell me,that its good? Give me a break. how can,an underqualified black man,get a job over a qualified white guy,just because he is black? just to fill the "status quo"? Lets see,we have 40 firemen,only 2 are black. the "law" says we must have 6. SO,out of these applicants,there are 6 whites with 10 years experiance each,and 6 blacks who have not been proven. We MUST hire the blacks to meet the requirements. BS. If you are qualified,you are qualified,regardless of skin color.

you all think it is easy being white,in "white mans world?" I have to pay bills,I have to feed my family,just like the next guy. I go outside my door right now,there are I gurantee 10 blacks just sitting out there,loud music pumping,doing jack shit with there lives but sitting out there making a scene. Here I am,having to get up at 4oclock for work,hearing this crap. I called the cops,and 2 days later my tires where cut. Yeah,its real easy being white,in a "black mans neighborhood"

Every black problem that exists,exists because it is brought on yourselves. Instead of being on this board,whining about how "whitey is holding blacks back" get out there and discipline your kids,get thugs off the street. Not saying that there aren't white kids out the being a pain in the ass,but right now,in front of my house,I don't see any. Blacks demand to be treated fairly,to be treated justily,but they don't do the same.


who said this "you can walk into a black neighborhood, by choice, but you aren't forced to be there to make a living, or get an education."
so what you are saying,is because I am "in the wrong place" it is okay to be treated like crap? I wasn't forced to be there? Rosa parks wasn't forced to be on that bus either. But she was,she stood up for herself,her black heritage,and I am doing the same. If I want to go into a black neighborhood at night,I deserve to be treated the same amount of respect I put out. The black community says too much,lets "stop black on black crime" how bout,just stopping crime altogether? Respect is earned,not given,and by 90% of the posts on here,I respect none of you. You see things from the perspective of the black man solely,and don't even try to see it how the white man views the black community,or culture. At least I am on here trying to see your points of view.

I am facing a brick wall here,as most of you dont' give a rats arse one way or the other. that just shows me again the lack of willingness to learn on your parts.
I am a black female.

Black men have too much on their hands.It seems to me they have the most stereotypes. Black women have many stereotypes, but i think not as bad as the men. When i went to school in a white school, i was treated much better than some of the black boys. Some times i thought they didnt think i was black!!!I had this white boy who would flirt with me, but then say ignorant things about black boys.Its good to know that a lot of racist have at least a little heart not to disrespect women as bad.


Does it seem i am off the subject? I am not. What i am trying to say is black men have so much to think about. And are hurt more then women of their race. They are in so much desperate need to find something to show off.Sometimes they begin to think the way to act is how whites want/or think they act.Which is thugish,stupid,and attracted to white women.

If black children had better parents, making them realize they are not ugly or stupid. And teach them more about Africa. Why? Because Africa to everyone is like the Tarzan movie. Africa in a lot of places was civilized.Also to use their own standards on beauty.
factoid,

you don't sound very much like someone who is trying to learn anything. you came here to prove how bad the white man has it, not to listen. you probably won't get an audience here, son. sorry it took so long to answer your post but i haven't been on for some time, and i had to stop laughing in order to type a response.


black people benefit from crying race? in a better world, it wouldn't be necessary would it? they aren't playing the race card, they're playing the hand they were dealt in a racist society. benefit from crying race. . ..as if white people don't benefit from being white. how many black people have been overlooked for jobs because of their skin color. and quit assuming that affirmative action is for people with no qualifications. it's racist to assume that black people don't have qualifications. it's a shame that black people with qualifications need affirmative action at all isn't it? that just proves the point that there is a problem.

you live in a neighborhood with nothing but black guys who hang out on the corners and blast their music? is that all black people to you? that's like me saying i think all whites are wise guys who kill because tony soprano told them to do it. are all white people KKK members? are all irish people drunks who believe in leprechauns and bansees? are all germans descendants of hitler? holding on to that concept of black people as largely lazy and whining shows that you have a ways to go before you are ready to consider yourself a learned white man.

you got cut tires? poor baby. have you ancestors and older relatives experienced a lynching? ever had a cross burning on your yard? anyone in your family? ever been assaulted by the big bad black guys in your neighborhood? i wish you could be black in a white neighborhood for two minutes. i bet that would open your eyes a bit.

don't compare yourself to rosa parks. that's an insult. she was forced to sit on the back of the bus. you can go whereever you want. again, yes that's your choice. white folks arent forced to work in a black world to survive and make a living. blacks are. you are the one who needs to be schooled. so if you're going to be here, try sitting back and listening instead of jumping to a defensive response.
quote:
Originally posted by mizzmercedes:
This is reality. They are either one of three...dead, lockedup, military Eek or on the arms of white women.

"Revolution Starts Between the Ears"

this is very racist and very unfortuate for anyone to say these things. Hatred is a disease, get well soon...God Bless you

In order to improve the mind, we ought less to learn, than to contemplate.
-Rene Descartes
[QUOTE]Originally posted by little minx:
i'm a black woman and i have to tell you that it physically hurts when i see a black man with a white woman. i'm not going to complain to his face or to hers. i'm not going to give him a guilt trip about it, because who am i to tell him what to do? but my feelings about it are strong.

**'physicially hurt'??? wow, this is a problem, maybe you should be happy that they found each other and appear to be in love.

QUOTE]

In order to improve the mind, we ought less to learn, than to contemplate.
-Rene Descartes
quote:
Originally posted by little minx:

i'm one of the myriad of black women approaching her thirties, without prospects for marraige. we all know the problem in the black community. there aren't enough brothers. . .nay quality brothers to go around. if i wanted to i could get a thug easily. it seems they are in abundance. but the black men who are thinking positively, self starters, dignified and educated are in the minority. and they know it. so they take advantage of it. i can't blame them. if the market were so good, i might shop around too. and these black men who date black women have a way of making black women feel like a dime a dozen. he won't compromise because you should be glad to have a man. then there's the good old fashioned biological clock. men dont have one and feel less of a push to get married to start a family. all this makes dating very hard as a master's educated black woman.

*-*What does it matter to the single men that you want?? It seems like the points you bring up are 'personal ones'. Why would a man care about your Biological clock?? I think the problem you are having is that the men you want don't want you. Maybe you need to upgrade yourself.*-*


the black men with undergraduate and especially graduate degrees seem to prefer women who aren't black.

**why do you say that?? It seems that blk women in college prefer thugs...maybe they should consider dating men that they are classmates with**

sure there are the black couples where both are educated but they are in the minority.
**Not true, most black men marry black women, some 92 or 93%, according tothe US census...the highest loyality of any group.***


it seems the more educated a black man is, the more likely he is to want a white woman.
**based off of what research??**

it hurts to see a black man with a white woman because too often these men are the quality brothers.
**Aww, i now get it, the men that you didn't want in college and now successful and now you are interested in them after the fact..forget the fact that those white women were down with him when he was eating tuna fish and ramen noodles for dinner in college...but now he is 'desireable'...i finally get it!!! Big Grin *-*

the ones with equal qualifications to the black women who can't find a man.
**most black women are overweight and obesity isn't sexy. Those with the most weight seem to be the most single, most of the time**


and it's a slap in the face when there are sooo many single black women to choose from.
**What's the point of dating someone that you are not compatatible with?? let's not pair up accordign to race only....that's racist!!**


there are too many queens looking for their kings.
**queens and kings?? oh ok** Confused

i get angry because i feel like white women get the best black men. and i'm angry at black men for falling for it and for deciding that a black woman wasn't good enough.

**do you feel the same way when blk women date white?? or is that ok?? maybe in your explanationof this you should know that racism never works and can not be defended Wink



a black man can tell me all he wants that it's true love and that he's colorblind. but i don't buy it.
**who cares what you think?? who are you?? do you ask young blk women why they only date thugs?? probably not...oh well


at least in some small way, her whiteness played into the decision to be with her.
**ms. cleo, it that you?? mind reading again?? I thought they fired you for that LOL!!



maybe i'd feel differently if i had a good man in my life. maybe then i wouldn't care. but i'm single, nay, perpetually, chronically single.

88THIS STATEMENT EXPLAINS IT ALL, YOU HAVE A WARPED VIEW BASED OFF OF YOUR INABILITY TO ATTRACT A MATE. tHE CLOCK IS TICKING AND YOU ARE LOOKING TO BLAME OTHERS FOR YOUR OWN INSECURITIES. iT'S NOT THE 'WHITE WOMEN STEALING' IT'S THE WHITE WOMEN LOVING THAT BOTHERS YOU...BUT OH WELL Wink

. Frown


In order to improve the mind, we ought less to learn, than to contemplate.
-Rene Descartes
I don't understand why black women have an opinion on blk men and white women love...they are outsiders and can never know the love that is present in that relationship. All relationships are different. Everyone is unique....so the excuse 'he's dating her cuz she's white'...does not hold true and can not be true because often times it's someone that don't even know. Maybe it's just hatred talking, i guess when they surround themselves with other 'like minded' haters that may feel that they are right....not always the case. For example: the majority of the US south wanted to continue slavery, they fought and died for that institution, a MAJORITY!!! were they right?? I don't think so...the majority can be wrong, like in this case Wink God Bless you.

In order to improve the mind, we ought less to learn, than to contemplate.
-Rene Descartes
quote:
maybe i'd feel differently if i had a good man in my life. maybe then i wouldn't care. but i'm single, nay, perpetually, chronically single. and i'm not alone. it's hurtful to see one of our prospects choosing to be with a woman who does not share his heritage and who could never really know what it is to be black. Frown


I'm not trying to be the next Carrie Bradshaw or anything, but I do watch HBO's multiple award-snagging series, "Sex in the city". I tune in religiously (when in season) to commiserate with the show's four, "single white females" who grapple modern relationship issues in the Big Apple. I like the show's colorful characters and the 30-something women who balance career, sex and PMS as good as any 21st century diva. But as I ponder their hilarious dilemmas, I also have to think, "get real."

I know as well as any woman how hard it can be to find the right mate- you know, one with ambition, a good job, an interest in women and a legible road map to a woman's "G" spot. But honestly, how hard can it be for white women? Let's face it, being in the majority does have its advantages. If four attractive, well-connected white women are having a hard time lassoing love in a mega metropolis like NYC, you know it's tight on sisters.

Our biggest problem is that there isn't a whole heck of a lot for us to choose from. Census Bureau statistics show that in 1994, African Americans made up only 12.7 percent of the U.S. population. About 5.5 percent of that are male and of that, it appears that about 4 percent are single or otherwise available. If you are like me, a 30-something woman who dates within the age range of 33-39, that takes the number of available men down to about 3 percent. Now, here's where it gets tricky: I'm a college-educated woman with a pretty good career, so naturally my first instinct is to look for someone with a similar life experience. If you're looking for a college educated black man, age 33-39- the percentage is probably no more than 2.5%. An educated black man with a successful career (and I'm fudging here) probably 1.5 percent. An educated black man with a successful career who is heterosexual –maybe 1 percent.

So, let's say I'm a sister looking for love among 1 percent of the population. Most of this 1 percent can be found in cities and surrounding suburbs with large black populations like Chicago, Atlanta, Washington, D.C., New York, Oakland and Detroit. So what are my chances of finding a single, 33-39-year-old, heterosexual, college educated, successful black man in my area? About .16 percent. Yes, that's one sixth of one percent.

NOW- what are my chances of finding all of this in a man who is ALSO kind, honest, mature, non-commitment phobic and with whom I'm compatible? Uh...you do the math. All I can say is that if they were to do an African American version of HBO's quintessential chick flick, it would have to be called "Sexless in the City."

Given these grim statistics one might ask a sister, "where are the best places to find single, black man?" I read the other day that Home Depot has become the new, meat market for white folks. It's pegged as a great place to find home-owning mates who know their way around a dry wall.

I was there the other day and was surprised to see an attractive brother in the appropriate age-range (see above paragraph) saunter onto my aisle. I was shopping for a new air filter for my heating system and asked his opinion. No, it wasn't a front, I was genuinely in need of help. He was helpful, but seemed a little afraid to make eye contact. Either he was blinded by my beauty or he had a "chubby white girl" lurking in the wings with a pocket-sized frying pan.
A few years ago I met an attractive black man in Los Angeles. "I usually don't date black women," he told me, "but I find you intriguing." I guess he thought I should be flattered, but instead I was disturbed. Rather than see me as his equal, he saw me as some sort of scientific oddity.

Of course there are intelligent black women out there. Anyone who says otherwise hasn't looked or isn't interested in looking. That's why I get so frustrated when I hear black men announce they've "given up on black women!!!" after an unsuccessful relationship. "Black men have too many issues," one white woman told me.

All relationships have issues. In fact, interracial relationships must often navigate through difficult questions of racial comfort and sincerity that don't appear in most same-race relationships. In interracial dating, we often find ourselves asking, "Does this person see beyond my race or will he show his true colors when the chips are down?"

Whatever issues white men face, self hatred is not one of them when it comes to their racial identity. That's why I'm more concerned about black men excluding other blacks than I am about white men excluding other whites from their respective dating pools.

In a culture that devalues black males and elevates white males, it is not likely that white male racial self-exclusion is rooted in self hatred than it would be with black males. After all, white men have no reason to hate themselves in a society that reinforces their privilege. Black men, on the other hand, are repeatedly assaulted by messages that communicate our alleged inferiority.

Let's face it "” why should I chase somebody who is not sure if he wants me? I have no interest in spending my time trying to get a prejudiced black man to look at me in a bar . I'd rather spend my time talking to that cute, intelligent white man.
Self hatred? I don't think so. I think the right words are these black men suffer from "low self-esteem." No reasonable human being hates himself or herself.

Since the age group of these black men are below 40 years old they fall within the range where many were raised in single parent homes headed by the black woman. People are a product of how they are raised don't you think? If these men have been raised to not want to marry women that remind them of their mothers I think any reasonable person would conclude these black men and their self hatred or low self-esteem are a direct result of how their black mothers raised them.

_____________________________
Is it just talk or are you for solutions? If you are GENUINELY interested in solving black problems? Then join us at http://www.theguidedog.com/BlackNation.html
quote:
>>>>>>>Originally posted by henry38:
_Self hatred?_ I don't think so. I think the right words are these black men suffer from "low self-esteem." No reasonable human being hates himself or herself.>>>>>

Ummmmm, so sorry Bud....Self hatred is a doucmented pathology among black men that have internalized racism.

>>>>>>>>>> Since the age group of these black men are below 40 years old >>>>

Oh really NOW??? I know many 50 plus and 40 plus black men that ONLY date white women. As a matter of fact bro, they are the ones that started DATING out in massive droves once miscegenation laws were gone in the 60's!!!!


>>>>>they fall within the range where many were raised in single parent homes headed by the black woman. People are a product of how they are raised don't you think?>>>>>>>>>

LOL!!! One more thing to blame the black woman for. Let me tell you this, many black women DON'T have a clue, until it is too late that their black children HATE THEIR SKIN COLOR until it is too late. It did not HIT me until I hit my late 20's, after years of exclusively dating black men (some good, some bad). Unless you acknowledge a problem, you can't fix it. And WHY ARE THESE BLACK WOMEN single??? Is it because the marriage rate for black men has dropped from 80% in the 50's and 60's and 70's down to 30%!!!!! NOT only do black men ABANDON their kids, they don't marry their black or white women.. lol

>>>>>> If these men have been raised to not want to marry women that remind them of their mothers I think any reasonable person would conclude these black men and their self hatred or low self-esteem are a direct result of how their black mothers raised them.>>>>>

You like blaming women for everything huh?? BE A MAN and lead!!! NOT some emasuculated WEAK fool!! What about these black fathers that LEFT them???????? How DARE you!! You are the typical example of black male leadership, of which there is NONE. Uncle Tom mofos that play ball for the white man, while the white man cuts their balls off along with the balls of their abandoned children!!!!

quote:
Originally posted by henry38:
_Self hatred?_ I don't think so. I think the right words are these black men suffer from "low self-esteem." No reasonable human being hates himself or herself.

Since the age group of these black men are below 40 years old they fall within the range where many were raised in single parent homes headed by the black woman. People are a product of how they are raised don't you think? If these men have been raised to not want to marry women that remind them of their mothers I think any reasonable person would conclude these black men and their self hatred or low self-esteem are a direct result of how their black mothers raised them.




"In these bloody days and frightful nights when an urban warrior can find no face more despicable than his own, no ammunition more deadly than self-hate, and no target more deserving of his aim than his brother, we must wonder how we came so late and lonely to this place" -- Maya Angelou
Internalized racism is an aspect of racism seldom addressed, but an aspect that is very real and that has tremendous consequences for persons of color and marginalized persons in this country. Although I think that this aspect of racism affects all persons of color, as an African-American I'm going to limit my comments to the African-American experience.

I would define internalized racism as the conscious and subconscious incorporation and acceptance of all the negative stereotypes and images from media, folklore, accounts of history, and so forth, that define persons of color, and especially African-Americans, as inferior.
quote:
Originally posted by henry38:
_Self hatred?_ I don't think so. I think the right words are these black men suffer from "low self-esteem." No reasonable human being hates himself or herself.

Since the age group of these black men are below 40 years old they fall within the range where many were raised in single parent homes headed by the black woman. People are a product of how they are raised don't you think? If these men have been raised to not want to marry women that remind them of their mothers I think any reasonable person would conclude these black men and their self hatred or low self-esteem are a direct result of how their black mothers raised them.


Black women are not standby equipment.

There are millions more unattached black women than unattached black men. Deducting from that total those black men unavailable due to substance abuse, unemployment, incarceration, involvement with white women and homosexuality results in a bleak demographic landscape for black women. Black men, certain types, will play their demographic advantage to the hilt by treating many black women as standby equipment. They play the system for what it's worth, and the pool of unattached black women is the system they play.

All too many black men choose to take on the role of sultans on the black social stage, the privileged few among the unattached many!! Black women are their standby-equipment harem girls, from whom they expect appropriate tributes. Being put on standby status means that the polygmaous sultan deems yo to be a harem girl whose services are not required for the moment. To wait on the shelf until his whim deems otherwise. Should the sultan tire of one harem girl, there are plenty more, and not all are black. Sultans cannot uderstand why any harem girl would find fault with their system. Their view is that harem membership is ample reward enough and black women should be gratelful. You have no LEVERAGE over these sultans, because they have no incentive to change. There's nothing to be gained. don't be fooled by the ficticious carrots they dangle to induce black women to pull their social lives along. They offer nothing of substance. SHOULD YOU LIMIT YOUR SOCIALIZING TO CERTAIN TYPES OF BLACK SULTANS, your only rewards will be empty promises and endless reassurances, as far into the future as the eye can see. Black women that make the mistake of taking on the role of standby equipment status leave themselves no choice but to contort their lives to fill the role expectations that go with being a spare tire.

Standby equipment is a role with no room for emotional growth. Do not trim yourself down to suit a sultan's lowly expectations. Standby status is a game you are predestined to lose. Closing your mind to reality in front of you blcoks you from moving beyond standby status. Walk out and find a game with better odds.

Maxine S.
What has "standby" and everything else you posted got to do with what I asked you?

Just incase you missed the question here it is again.

"Since the age group of these black men are below 40 years old they fall within the range where many were raised in single parent homes headed by the black woman. People are a product of how they are raised don't you think? If these men have been raised not want to marry women that remind them of their mothers don't you think any reasonable person would conclude these black men and their self hatred or low self-esteem are a direct result of how their black mothers raised them?"

_____________________________
Is it just talk or are you for solutions? If you are GENUINELY interested in solving black problems? Then join us at http://www.theguidedog.com/BlackNation.html
What has "standby" and everything else you posted got to do with what I asked you?

>>>>>>>>>>>>>Just incase you missed the question here it is again.

"Since the age group of these black men are below 40 years old they fall within the range where many were raised in single parent homes headed by the black woman. People are a product of how they are raised don't you think? If these men have been raised not want to marry women that remind them of their mothers don't you think any reasonable person would conclude these black men and their self hatred or low self-esteem are a direct result of how their black mothers raised them?">>>>>>>>>>

BLACK MEN BELOW 40??????????????? YOU PULL THAT STAT DUDE... LOL. PULL IT, I HAVE NOT SEEN IN IT. I HAVE SEEN THE NEW HISTORY BOOKS POINTING OUT THE FACT THAT BLACK MEN STARTED DATING OUR IN MASS, LET ME REPEAT, MASS DRIVES SINCE THE 1960'S!!!!! THAT IS A FACT!!! YOU SHOW ME WHERE YOU PULLED THE AGE 40 (MAYBE OUT OF YOUR A$$)?? LOL. YOU TELL ME WHERE ARE THE MEN THAT LEAVE THESE BLACK WOMEN ALONE AS THEY GO TO THE BEACH WITH THEIR CHUBBY WHITE GIRLS, THEY HAVE NOTHING TO FEAR...LORD KNOWS ALL THEY NEED TO DO IS PICK UP THE SHADE REFLECTED OFF HER BOD.. WHAT YOU NEED TO FOCUS ON IS TELLING THESE MEN AND BOYS TO STAY WITH THEIR WOMEN AND BE MEN. BE MEN, FOR GOD'S SAKE BE MEN AND STOP BLAMING THE WHITE MAN AND THE BLACK WOMAN FOR EVERY DAMN THING!!! BE MEN!!!!!
Okay okay calm down. I am on your side. Because someone is asking questions does not mean they are the enemy. Questions are meant to make one look at shortfalls in one's arguments. If you say it is not how these men have been raised that is making them behave like this, I believe you. I am just as puzzled by this phenomena and I am asking questions to find answers

_____________________________
Is it just talk or are you for solutions? If you are GENUINELY interested in solving black problems? Then join us at http://www.theguidedog.com/BlackNation.html
quote:
Originally posted by henry38:
Okay okay calm down. I am on your side. Because someone is asking questions does not mean they are the enemy. Questions are meant to make one look at shortfalls in one's arguments. If you say it is not how these men have been raised that is making them behave like this, I believe you. I am just as puzzled by this phenomena and I am asking questions to find answers

_____________________________
Is it just talk or are you for solutions? If you are GENUINELY interested in solving black problems? Then join us at http://www.theguidedog.com/BlackNation.html


OOps... lol. I'm sorry, I thought you were on of 'them'.. lol. Good on ya'.. Enlightned black men make my ears warm Smile
quote:
Originally posted by afro_geek:
who cares: race is overrated. being white is overrated, and, certainly, black is too! ppl are just ppl.


HUH??? Listen buddy, the weight of history is upon us. Putting one's head in the sand does not help the 40% of black children that are in poverty. It does not help the children of Boston and LA who can't take their math books home or the fact that they have to SHARE books at school. It does not help the fact that while kids in URBAN city schools have NO HEAT working while kids in Glenview or Westchester public have HEATED POOLS.... It doesn't help the fact that they NOW test our children and place the punitive measure upon them (remeber, can't take books home) and send thousands into the street with no diploma while the punitive measures should be placed on the SALARIES of all educatin administrators from Washington on DOWN... RACE is overrated!!! you living in the DREAM world... this is AMERICA and we are ABSORBED in RACIAL issue. I only wish we were all the HUMAN race.... NOT!!!!!
quote:
Originally posted by afro_geek:
gina': what the hell are u talking about? stay topical! the thread spoke to the social issue of black men and white women, not the merits of some education policy.

incidently, not all of afro-america impact issues germinate from the retardant, parasitic ghettos of urban america!


http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0385471610/ref=pd_ecc_rvi_sc_1/103-3257834-6160663?v=glance&s=books

This book, The Color Complex may help you out of your blindness.

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