Black Leaders....You're Fired!
(Effective MLK Day 2006)
by Min. Paul Scott
Nothing ever promised tomorrow today. But we'll find a
way. Nothing lasts forever but be honest,babe.
Hurts, but it may be the only way.
Kanye West (Heard em say)
Dear Black Leader,
As the unofficial self- appointed representative of
the people who you are supposed to work for, I have a
bit of bad news....You're Fired!!!
Or as Martin Lawrence used to say "Gets ta steppin!".
It's not that we don't appreciate your hard work and
dedication in fighting for our civil rights and
everything. We know your bio, which you always share
with us anytime we ask you what have you done for us,
lately. We know about the marches, the
demonstrations,the police dogs and the jail stays. But
that history is lost on this generation. They are
desensitized to the "going to jail thang." My cousin
Clyde, the Klepto can do a 10 year bid standing on one
hand. As far as the police dogs, Lil Tyrone has to
deal with stray pitbulls everyday coming home from
school. So the tales from the past just don't move
Black folks like they used to.
Accounting is concerned about the expense account
that you've been runnin' up. They say that you have
been abusing the company's Bank of Harlem Black Card.
Is it really necessary to wear $2000 Brooks Brothers
suits and $1500 Itallian leather shoes, everyday while
the people you work for get their clothes from Wal
Mart and Pick and Pay? (Work rule # 4081, never out
dress the boss.) And how about the first class airline
tickets and the 5 star hotels? Also, the board of
directors thinks that the $5000 honorarium that you
charge historically Black colleges for 45 minutes of
your wisdom is a little excessive. Especially when you
are going to ask the strugglin' college kids to break
you off $28.99 for your latest hardback after the
My peeps in the street are also tired of seeing you
flossin' on C-Span more than they see you in tha hood,
homie. They want you to step your rap game up and come
with something a little fresher than a remixed "I
Have a Dream" speech every year. At least Jay Z and
them can bust a funky freestyle off the top of their
heads. And stop criticizing their spinning rims and
platinum teeth when you are bling blingin' more than
they are. And for the record, they said that they
ain't gonna stop using the "n" word as long as you
keep referring to Black folks as minorities and
The Boyz in the Hood want a chance to shine on the
cover of Ebony and on the radio, too. My boy, Tre said
that he was in the newspaper one time and his mom's
said that he looked real good dunking the basketball
in the Cross City Championship of 95. He once dropped
some serious science after the Katrina disaster in the
middle of Mr Luther's Barber Shop and got a standing
ovation and a free hair cut! Brotha's got some real
talk for the people but NPR won't holla at him,
The interns who have been running around getting your
coffee and filing your papers for the last 20 years
are getting tired of being passed over for promotions.
Word around the break room is that they are planning a
hostile takeover if changes aren't made soon. I know
that you always thought that the main threat to your
job would come from the Conservative cats on the 5th
Floor who you play golf with every weekend but you
underestimated the Brotha in the Red, Black and Green
T-Shirt that you had in the field picking up garbage.
You didn't know that the old school Public Enemy
pumpin' in his IPod headphones and the books on
Garvyism that he was reading during his lunch break
would give him grand ideas about taking over the
We tried to get your pension straight, but funny
thing, no one in Human Resources remembers hiring you.
It must have happened during the race riots of '69
when the Brothas were handlin' their business in the
streets. When the smoke cleared all the rest of the
Brothas were doing long prison sentences but you were
at the front of the line to be the first negro to
integrate Whiteman and Liverpool Inc.
To find a suitable replacement we have decided to
launch our own reality show "America's Next Black
Leader" and we will be going through hoods across
America with a camcorder to see who is actually out
there feeding the people, fighting the power and all
doing of the other things that you preached to us
that we should be doing for the last 30 years.
So we thank you for your years of service and we know
that you will have no problem finding a new job with
your white corporate sponsors.
Min. Paul Scott
"TRUTH Minista" Paul Scott lives in Durham NC. He can
be reached at email