Thoughts on this article?
If you want to know how women really choose men, don't bother asking a woman.
True, when it comes to relationships, women are in charge of the selection process because they control access to sexuality -- they let men "in" -- so you'd think they'd know exactly why and how they choose their partners. But the problem is, women lie. They lie to men; they lie to themselves (and they are perfectly capable of believing their own lies).
If you ask any woman what she's looking for in a man, she'll come out with a long list of ennobling qualities: a sense of humor; a guy who's nice to her and treats her well; good values; a strong moral character, etc.
Uh huh. Right. And she'll leave footprints all over Mr. Sense of Humor as she scrambles to be first in line when an arrogant, philandering, single doctor roars up in his Ferrari.
Let's be honest -- if women really chose men based on what they say they're looking for, then every nice, average guy out there would be besieged with females trying to go out with him. But nice, average guys generally stay home on the weekends with a date from the back room of the local video store.
Many women lie. They are experts at self-deceit because if they ever admitted to themselves what they really want from men, then they'd be forced to acknowledge that they don't really want a "nice" guy.
The most important reality a man can understand about female behavior is this: never pay attention to what a woman says -- watch what she actually does .
truth is in her actions
And what does she actually do? When it comes to choosing men, she heads straight for the cash. What women want most from men -- and therefore the criterion most significant to them in selecting a mate -- is money.
For the majority of women, dating and marriage are businesses. Women marry up, not down. A man will marry a woman who scrubs the floor at a slaughterhouse if she's nice and pretty enough -- but if she's nice and she's pretty and she's working at the slaughterhouse, you can rest assured she's there because she's got her eye on the owner of the company.
When a woman says all the good ones are taken, she means all the ones with money. The man who changes her oil or checks her groceries might very well be a great guy capable of loving her dearly, but she wouldn't even consider him as a potential suitor because he doesn't have enough earning power.
Some women are blatant about their mercenary choices, openly choosing men with substantial material assets that they can sex-ploit . But most are subconscious hypocrites, screening out less successful men without admitting it to themselves. They publicly announce that all they want is a nice guy, but privately disregard any men who don't meet their elevated standards for money, success, and status.
In one breath they proclaim, "I don't care how much money a man makes. I can make my own money," and in the next, "But whoever I date has to have a status (read: money) job." All other men without this "status job," no matter how nice, intelligent or funny, will be ignored.
The flagrant hypocrisy is brushed under the carpet. The only reason a woman will choose a man without money is if he's on the fast track to a high-earning career -- she views this as an investment of her time and a payment plan for the use of her female goods.
Clinical studies, conducted by Robert Trivers et al., show that women value financial prospects about twice as highly as men do, having higher standards regarding financial prospects at all stages of a relationship. In fact, in any given year, American men who marry generally earn 50% more money than men of the same age who do not marry.
woman want status
Women place a high value on a good education, the assurance of a promising career, and ambition, all of which indicate potential for making money. The socioeconomic status of males has a decisive influence on female sexual response at all levels of intimacy, even offsetting male unattractiveness. In one study, college women were shown photographs of handsome and homely men in three different attires:
Blazer, shirt, designer tie, and Rolex watch (these men were described as doctors)
Plain white shirt (these men were described as teachers)
Uniform of a Burger King employee.
The women viewed the photographs with their descriptions and stated their willingness to engage in relationships with the men. The study found that the women were significantly more willing to engage in relationships with high status/homely males than with either the medium or low status, handsome males.
So money -- or the assurance of money in the future -- is the single most significant criterion in how women choose men. The blame for this phenomenon lies in our society -- a society which promotes female arrogance and the manipulation of men; a society which panders to females across the board.
In a day and age when women are screaming about equal rights, can there be any excuse for the hypocrisy of female mercenary behavior? When women earn as much -- or more -- than men, why should guys be forced to hand over their hard-earned cash to women? And why should men allow themselves to be chosen primarily on their ability to earn?
men love sex
The reason is simple: because men want sex, they let women get away with this -- giving free rein to female sex-ploitation . Men are brought up by their mothers to cater to women, to bring them flowers, to hold open doors, to act as chauffeurs -- and to pay for access to sex.
Most women will not allow access to that sex unless the man has first shelled out quite of bit of money for drinks, dinners, entertainment, etc. A woman expects a free ride just because she is biologically female; she expects men to pay for sex. She will vehemently deny this. But she chooses men in the first place precisely because of their ability to pay.
This is wrong. Dating should be about partnership, not a whore/john relationship. It should be about two people getting together because they like each other and enjoy each other's company, not because a man is paying for a woman's time. Women need to learn to respect men, not use them and ruthlessly sex-ploit them.
But if male-female relationships are going to change for the better, it's entirely up to us to enforce the change. If we stop paying for women, then women will be forced to choose us for qualities other than the size of our wallets.