quote:
Bruckner says that is compounded by tough competition for a smaller pool of highly educated black men.


My question(s) for the ladies of AA.org:

In your opinion, why are there a smaller pool of highly educated black men? And if any of you feel this is a significant issue as it pertains to dating/marriage, what do you suggest be done about increasing this "small pool" of highly educated black men?
quote:
Originally posted by Raptor:
quote:
Bruckner says that is compounded by tough competition for a smaller pool of highly educated black men.


My question(s) for the ladies of AA.org:

In your opinion, why are there a smaller pool of highly educated black men? And if any of you feel this is a significant issue as it pertains to dating/marriage, what do you suggest be done about increasing this "small pool" of highly educated black men?


IMO, there's a few reasons why there's a smaller pool of highly educated Black men. One of them is that more females graduate from high school and go on to further there education by attending college. Another is that more men than women end up in jail. And yet another is that more Black men than Black women are killed off before they even reach the 'higher education' age. And, plus, I believe that there are simply more women than men. 19

For my age group, we lost a lot of potential mates to war ... whether or not they were killed over there or just didn't come back able to cope with reality.

Personally, I don't care for the 'gotta have an educated man' thing. At the end of the day, you don't sleep with a Ph.D ... you sleep with a person. Plus, some people come out of school with book smarts, but have no common sense whatsoever! Eek But ... that's probably another thread! Wink

What we can do, though, to enlarge the pool of educated Black men is to start to protect our young Black boys ... at a MUCH higher rate than we have been doing. We have to grow them into Black males that not only want to go to college, but actually have a shot at it .. academically, emotionally, and socially speaking.

We have to recognize that the young Black male is an endangered species. Which no doubt is definitely another thread! Big Grin
quote:
Originally posted by ocatchings:
Just how educated does a man have to be before he is considered a potential mate?
Everytime I see these types or articles it seems something is missing from the entire story.


Yeah ... they do seem quite 'sterile' ... don't they? 19
On the real side, why is it that our young men are not driven to get an education like black women? Sisters have stepped up their game educationally, financially etc. Why can't brothers do the same. I know some brothers who have done just that. Respectable black men who have also waited to get married and are in their 30's. But the attitudes are different. Brothers tend to say hey I can have any woman I want. While sisters do wait for the black man.
So the question is, sisters do you continue to lower your standards and wait for black men to catch up? Or do you play by the same rule book as educated black men? HMMMM Something to think about?
quote:
Originally posted by Yemaya:
On the real side, why is it that our young men are not driven to get an education like black women? Sisters have stepped up their game educationally, financially etc. Why can't brothers do the same. I know some brothers who have done just that. Respectable black men who have also waited to get married and are in their 30's. But the attitudes are different. Brothers tend to say hey I can have any woman I want. While sisters do wait for the black man.
So the question is, sisters do you continue to lower your standards and wait for black men to catch up? Or do you play by the same rule book as educated black men? HMMMM Something to think about?


Yemaya, you're not gonna like the answer. The reason why black males aren't driven to get an education more, compared to black women, is because the black community seems to reward black males to stay uneducated than educated. Black males are thought of as corny little black boys when we're getting an education, whereas the black females are encouraged to be education, including the females who believe that education isn't for them.

I know I'll get cussed out for this, but I'm saying this...this recent example of why brothers aren't getting educated in droves, compared to black females is the late Derrion Albert.

Derrion Albert was the 16 y/o honor student who was beaten to death by a group of thugs in Chicago. Black boys who carry books instead of guns or knives in our community, unfortunately are considered weak males by belligerent elements in our community. The females don't think they're "man enough" and don't find them desirable, while the thug males (who are considered desirable) are kicking their asses senselessly and taking their lunch money. Derrion Albert wasn't that fortunate.

A large number of black men aren't encouraged to be educated, because many aren't encouraged when they're little boys. When boys see girls falling for "bad boys", those boys are going to emulate that. A female is a male's biggest motivator, and if the majority of the girls seek uneducated men or find those said men desirable, then that's what a boy will do, become what those women find desirable.


To be continued...
Huey said:
A large number of black men aren't encouraged to be educated, because many aren't encouraged when they're little boys. When boys see girls falling for "bad boys", those boys are going to emulate that. A female is a male's biggest motivator, and if the majority of the girls seek uneducated men or find those said men desirable, then that's what a boy will do, become what those women find desirable.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xd5BsIBrGgE
Originally posted by Huey
quote:
A large number of black men aren't encouraged to be educated, because many aren't encouraged when they're little boys. When boys see girls falling for "bad boys", those boys are going to emulate that. A female is a male's biggest motivator, and if the majority of the girls seek uneducated men or find those said men desirable, then that's what a boy will do, become what those women find desirable.


fro I agree. Peer pressure/acceptance is the highest motivator in pre-teen/adolescent behavior. Especially when there is no favorable adult role model in the picture at any level: school/community/family. And listen....Mike Tyson said he learned about women on television/videos. No brotha ever talked to him about educating himself or gave info on how to treat women. And he was crying about the little attention white boy gave him...which in all he did...he still didn't teach him about socialization. So in that what do we think our kids are learning....especially boys when they marvel at what they see in the media? In terms of their manhood. So unfortunately I totally agree with you. And is why I am always LITERALLY begging educated/successful brothas to come and speak to the young men in my classroom. But! Many do not have or will NOT take the time to do so. And the cycle of this unfortunate scenerio continues...

fro
quote:
Originally posted by Kocolicious:
Originally posted by Huey
quote:
A large number of black men aren't encouraged to be educated, because many aren't encouraged when they're little boys. When boys see girls falling for "bad boys", those boys are going to emulate that. A female is a male's biggest motivator, and if the majority of the girls seek uneducated men or find those said men desirable, then that's what a boy will do, become what those women find desirable.


fro I agree. Peer pressure/acceptance is the highest motivator in pre-teen/adolescent behavior. Especially when there is no favorable adult role model in the picture at any level: school/community/family. And listen....Mike Tyson said he learned about women on television/videos. No brotha ever talked to him about educating himself or gave info on how to treat women. And he was crying about the little attention white boy gave him...which in all he did...he still didn't teach him about socialization. So in that what do we think our kids are learning....especially boys when they marvel at what they see in the media? In terms of their manhood. So unfortunately I totally agree with you. And is why I am always LITERALLY begging educated/successful brothas to come and speak to the young men in my classroom. But! Many do not have or will NOT take the time to do so. And the cycle of this unfortunate scenerio continues...

fro


I totally agree with you too. But here's the thing...many of the educated brothers don't go back to tell the thuggish men to stop acting the way they are because the thugs ALREADY HAVE THE WOMEN. It doesn't make sense for the educated men to talk to them because the uneducated ones have the women and the educated ones don't, and why should the uneducated thug brothers listen to the educated brothers, when the thugs have the women, and the educated ones don't? Remember the women chose those men.

The women aren't getting knocked up by the Steve Urkels and Carlton Banks brothers; they're getting knocked up by the Tupacs and the 50Cents brothers. You know what they say, "why buy the cow when you get the milk for free?" Those thugs have both the cow and the milk, and they're not planning to buy both of them anytime soon. Women can motivate men to do anything, for good or for bad. If all women in the community would just go cold turkey and only go for educated, non-thuggish men and don't give thugs the time of day...you would see a huge difference. It's beyond peer pressure, Koco. It's not just children and teens, but also adults. Even when there are two parents, it seems that the more dysfunctional a male is, the more desirable he is to a female. And the times when the women want an educated guy are when it's after she went through hell...

After she's slept with the football team.
After she made the sex tape with Tommy Lee.
After her thug boyfriend goes to jail.
After she gets urinated on by R. Kelly.
and AFTER she's pregnant and abandoned by the thug to take care of a litter of thuglet kids all by herself.

Always after the fact, never before. The good guy finishes last...as the constellation prize husband. The women just don't want the educated men, until her looks fade and can no longer attract thugs anymore.

I know Tyra and them talk about how it's normal for girls to like bad boys, but damn, when does the fantasy begin or end? When she's knocked out or knocked up by the ruffneck? When she gets an STD? When the thug goes to jail? Role model or not, who are picking these men and why? Just because somebody has one parent or none, doesn't give them a free pass in making bad decisions. Not having a parent or a role model isn't an excuse for having bad taste in picking boyfriends/girlfriends.

Ladies, if you ever find the woman who first saw a dude walk in public with his trousers down by his thighs and said to herself, "Damn, that's sexy," thus setting this self-destructive trend of black man wearing sagging pants outside of prison...PLEASE kick this heifer's ass for me!! Waterboard her ass if you have to!

30 years ago, if you saw a teenage boy or a grown man wearing his pants like that, he would be just coming off the short bus. Somebody has to say this, but I'm sick and tired of the worst of us being represented in the public as the end-all, be all, definition of true "blackness." Moreso, I'm tired of thugs being elevated as great picks for the ladies, and the educated, law-abiding brothers being treated like pariahs in our own communities. Something's got to give. hat
fro No fear my brotha. It's acomin'. You say it's not just the kids. Well....if it's gonna stop....it ain't gonna stop with grownfolks...nope too late. It has to start with the children. A new day, sort of speak. And I'm tellin ya....time is a changing. And the thug life is not as romantic/glamorous anymore especially since this economic crisis has FORCED many women to rethink realistically about their future with men who can't even READ. So...no worries my brotha. In a minute, the appetite for those thug bad boys will dissipate....not all at once. But. Trust me. Once again....normal relationships between men and women will resurface. It won't be easy cuz we have damaged "history." But...most of the thugs will either be in prison/unreachable or will lose their appeal factor which has unfortunately saturated and wasted quality time of two generations already. But! As I say....this mentality among women is already changing...and for those women who still have a taste for the bad boy....YOU don't need to be involved with 'em anyway. Cuz birds of a feather will always flock together....so. You don't need the drama or the damaged goods. I say "good" riddens. More room for the "real" brothas and sistas to come together and do positive and productive things. It. is. acomin'. Watch!

BTW: Please don't give up on the sistas. Yeah many are hard headed....but! Hey when they finally "see" the light...it will definitely benefit a lot of good brothas. I promise.Big Grin

fro

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