Today is the day I hand in my "sistah"hood card. I ain't a black woman nooooo more!

Let me explain. After a rousing service at my church on self-determination and purpose, I stopped at a local grocery store to do a little homework and pick up Sunday's dinner. As I navigated thru the tight aisle of the produce section I hit a log jam created by a mother and her daughter. The daughter insisted on mom showing her how to get to the next level on her PS2 game. 


I was able to move on. However, I encountered her again in the meat section doing the same thing. As I carefully and patiently navigated around her, I hear her mumbling about I don't know how to say 'excuse me' and I'm a bitch.


This is what's called an 'Ah-ha' moment. I guess it could be defined as a teachable one. I'm calling it--"the one where I quit."
See I've noticed for quite some time the behaviors and attitudes in black women in Chicago has been increasingly moving toward antagonistic and of less civility. I began to notice it in little ways-- a public phone conversation about another person (generally a man), then in customer service (where many seem to hold the attitude that they are being paid to show up, not to work) and in their positions of authority (mother's demeaning children in public. Bus drivers blasting someone for not giving correct fare. Bosses speaking to employees as if they were children- or worse-animals.) The only instances I've notice a touch of civility is when they must interact with whites. Although that is increasingly questionable. 
My "ah-ha" moment came on the way home. I finally can see why "brothas"--well famous "brothas"-- are increasingly dating other races. I finally get it. I finally understand why some black men grumble about black women. Who in their right mind would want to live and involve themselves with anyone who harasses the shit out of you? Who's focused on keeping you "in check" or who is domineering? If you see me with a "Go Reggie Bush Go" or for Tiger, Kobe, even Clarence Thomas T-shirt on it's not because I'm support their careers but championing them for their sanity. 

Sorry, but after today, and yesterday, and the weeks leading up to now, I've got way to many experiences to say "it's on you" ladies. And the excuse that it's "da man" who's created this hyperbole of behavior, or it's because there are 'no good' men out there, or because someone did you wrong last year, last week, last lifetime has run it's course. Tyler Perry, Monique, Essence and the rest of the BET posse should not be determining how you are as a woman. 

As Plato said- The unexamined life is not worth living. 

Get busy living. 

(I got this from someone on facebook) 
Knocking jockeys off the lawn for over 50 years
Original Post
LOL ... sounds like homegirl went from one extreme to the other!!    Which means she still doesn't have it right! 

The way I see it, just because (some) sistas are ... well, let's call it 'overbearing' in the way she described isn't a reason for Black men to turn to women of other races!  Black men (and women) would do themselves a greater service to simply be more selective about WHO (as an individual) they choose to date!

Now, I will admit it's slim-pickin's on both sides of the gender aisle when looking for the more civilized and well-behaved among us!  But ... that needle is in the haystack!  There are good and decent
Black men and women all over the place! 

And while those might be harder to find, it's generally not hard at all to recognize the bad apples that are rotting out the barrel!  We just need to do a better job of bypassing them to get to the good, juicy ripe ones! 
I tend to think this is a bit exaggerated and I tend to treat anecdotal commentary like this suspectly. Very FEW AA women I know behave in the stereotypical "angry black woman" way, as it is unproductive. We can't be both the leaders (in our demographic) in the high end professional jobs and total b*tches lacking standard interpersonal relating skills at the same time. It doesn't match.

Likely I think what is happening is a hyperbolic "a forward man is assertive, but a forward woman is a b*tch" in the AA community. Like that attending on Grey's Anatomy (who makes me cringe as a AA role model)...  We're just the scapegoats of society at the point in history. Perhaps one day it will change.
This should be on the list of things that can never be said again. Likely I think what is happening is a hyperbolic "a forward man is assertive, but a forward woman is a b*tch

That simply is not true.a bitch is bitch, it does not have anything to do with assertiveness, it is being a bitch, and for the record, it is not a gender specific issue and it never really was. 
Well, ladies, as one who has been called every "bitch" in the book, I have to agree with Shulamite. I agree for several reasons: First, as I was coming up, I was taught to be respectful of all peoples. I was taught that "nice" little girls and "good" teenagers and then later, "Mature" Women, didn't put others out but instead sought to "help" everyone as a whole.

Little did I know that that teaching would render me susceptible to being called "too nice", a "pushover" and the all too prominent, "stupid bitch". My question is how in hell can anybody ever be "too nice"? Nice is nice. Period.

So, naturally, when I began to find my voice, I was met with the stereotypical mantra of being "loud", "pushy", "overbearing"....oh and three of my favorites: "controlling", "angry", and the ever so present "she's not happy"....which just cracks me the hell on up given that finding my own voice has rewarded me well beyond measure.

I agree that if we "smile" and let people do their own thing all the while exercising some serious restraint, EVEN WHEN WE KNOW THEY ARE BULLSHITTIN, we are called "stupid"....oh, and apparently, we "don't have a clue" about what's going on around us.

But if we "Woman Up" and "tell it like it is", then we are on the low end of the Totem Pole of people ReLations.

Second, growing up Black and a Woman and having to be exposed to the shady historical acts that have reaped some serious repercussions in our present day society (and really this is why I stated in another thread that we need to be discussing our 'invisible' status), I know that Black Women are often rendered invisible....unless we speak up about something: then at that point, we become everybody's bitches.

At that point, people claim to see how "evil" we are. At that point, people claim to see why so many of Us "are alone". At that point, some people begin to really engage in THAT GAME between Black Women and Other Women because apparently not only are we suffering from a lack of self respect, self esteem and self adulation, but we also seem to be suffering from not "upping' our "A Game", "not appreciating" anybody or anything (including our kids) and not recognizing how EVERYTHING WithIn the world is our "fault".

MoreOver, I agree with Shulamite because it seems that it is easier to attack US, meaning Black Women, than it is to get to know us on a real level: Many people actually LIKE living in the Okey-Doke, and if we won't live there, it is easier to ignore US and Our reality than it is to see our point of view. Apparently, we "rock the boat" too much.

Finally, I agree with Shulamite, because I've seen other Black Women help to perpetuate these stereotypes by taking upon the persona of children reciting their ABC's: Some have taken a liking to Our Abusers, Aggressors, BullShitters, Chastisers, Criticizers, Detractors, Dictators, Embarrasors, Fictioners, Goaders, Haters, Imitators, Jokers, Killers, Losers, Misers, Muters, Niggards, Oppressors, Perpetuators, Quieters, Rilers, Shredders, Sizers, Tailers, Translators, Users, Voyeurs, Whiners, Xenophobers, Yappers.....and last, but not least, our Zingers.

It seems that it is easier to be critical of each other than it is to be careful with one another....especially when OTHERS are around.

I hope more of US begin to WAKE UP, soon.

"Wisdom Is A Woman Who Has, Who Is & Who Will Always Go Through!"
There is less civility these days, among all sorts of groups, but the premise of the article is kinda lame.  The author takes one admittedly RUDE incident and unleashes a torrent of hostility toward black women in general.

Anecdotally speaking, I have routinely been in the grocery store and BECKY purposely fails to say excuse me for nearly running over me with her cart or reaching over me for some canned peas.  Would it be fair or accurate to make some sort of scathing, chastising generalization regarding all of Beckyhood based on this longstanding phenomenon of Becky attempting to act like we don't exist in the grocery aisles?

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