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Analyzing The Drama Queen And A Woman's I.Q. Test
-written by Luigi Di Serio, edited by Aaron S. Bayley

Why do women love drama?

The answer is quite easy. Women CREATE drama simply to put men to the test. Women are attention-seekers in constant need of reassurance and affirmation that someone cares for them and wants to protect them. There is a correlation between the amount of drama a woman creates and the success of a relationship, based on these factors. The less women believe they are being cared for and protected, the more drama they create. In the realm of courtship and intimate relationships, women CONSTANTLY put men to the test with the use of comments, complaints, and DRAMA. Drama is employed by women to put people, often men, on the spot, by exploiting their emotional strengths and weaknesses to the breaking point. Women quickly judge how well men handle drama; this is when they determine how much patience, courage, will, passion, and other important characteristics are present or absent in a man.

Why are men so oblivious to this? There are two main reasons. First, it is all played out subconsciously, and second, we have been socially programmed through media, pop culture, and belief systems to become totally unaware of this fact. For women, drama separates the boys from the men. Some of us rise to the occasion, while others are clearly not up to the challenge and wither away like an undesirable species. In relationships, the more a man passes a woman's test, the more control and intimacy they achieve with their partner. Women want men who are in control of themselves, yet slightly out of control; a confident, independent individual who excels in different arenas of life. This is because women ultimately "surrender" themselves, to a certain extent, to a man who they believe to be "the one".

Here are some examples of how women employ drama, along with I.Q. test questions and comments:

"So, where are you taking me?" {wants sense of mystery/romance created for her}
"Can you do this for me...pleaseeeeee?" {test of a man's integrity}
"This place sucks!"
"I want this (clothing/food)." {anything impulsive}
"I am annoyed." {any extreme emotion}
"Those people are bothering me."
"I have a lot of guy friends." {testing waters of jealousy, insecurity}
"All girls are bitches...I don't have many female friends." {same as above, but w/hint of autonomy}
"Why are you looking at her?!" {test of loyalty through use of overt jealousy}
"This guy asked me out. He told me I'm hot/cute." {testing waters of jealousy, insecurity}
"Me and my girls are having a girls night out." {employing sense of mystery}
"I am going here instead." {sense of mystery w/ display of independence}
"Leave me alone!" {"I want to talk about something with you." Or, "Leave me alone."}
"I don't play games." {"I play games CONSTANTLY."}
"I'm not worried about guys...just focused on school/work." {diversions that are props or "fronts"}


All these techniques are a women's way of testing men to see if the man is jealous, insecure, overly-nice, manipulative, self-serving, spineless, or basically, worth their trouble. To a woman, the most UNATTRACTIVE thing in the world is INSECURITY in men. Why do you think nice guy's finish last? Because being nice, usually means, but not always, being insecure in one way or another. Women constantly test men's security. Since they already know they can seduce us with their bodies, they need not try this as a test, unless you passed all the others. Women are only attracted to men whom they seek intimacy with, men who are stern and in control of themselves, yet not jealous or controlling. It makes us irresistible.

EXAMPLE 1:
Woman: "So, where are you taking me?"
Failed Answer: "Where do you want to go?"
Passed Answer: "It's a surprise."
Super-Seduction Pass: "Don't worry, you're going to LOVE it, and if you don't....too bad..."

EXAMPLE 2:
Woman: "I want this (clothing/food)."
Failed Answer: "Anything you want." Or, "You're so demanding!"
Passed Answer: "Not now, but maybe later." Or, "So take some initiative and go get it."
Super-Seduction Pass: "Hey, nothing's for free in this world...what's in it for ME?"


Do you see the difference? The failed answers are either submissive or insecure responses. The normal passed answers are alright, but not necessarily good for creating attraction, ambiguity or indifference, all of which keep women interested (at least to the point where they will create more tests and drama). The super-seduction pass answers let the woman know you are in control, and if she wants something, she can give in to you. It creates mystery and tension, which, when used together, are VERY powerful and seductive tools.

The bottom line is, when it comes to dealing with a woman's drama, recognize it, and act accordingly- that is, be a MAN, not MANHANDLED. And never take a woman's words TOO seriously; they change their minds more often than baby's change diapers (never mind that analogy, what the fuck do guys know about BABIES???).

Entre el Si Y el No de la mujer, No me atrevaria
Original Post

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I know im gonna hear it...........but i have to agree with this. Confused

I see it this way........

I love it when i know, a man can take charge of any situation. Having the ability to lead his, family, children, community.......is a turn on. (of course he has to be able to do this......without disrespect)

Its true, a man should be a man.....and not "man handled".
quote:
Originally posted by xxGAMBITxx:
I believe this article is dead on. Probably a main reason why I'm alone is because I refuse to "take the test". lol

I'll say one thing, being raised by and around women has given me the "edge" on the female psyche...I leave tests for school and job/career promotions...relationships, I prefer knowing what's on your mind.


Well dont think of it as a test.

Im quite sure you've said something to your wife, girl friend, mom, sister.....just to see where her head was, right??

You dont realize it.........but you do it all the time. You ask questions, or make statements........to get answers.

Razz
quote:
Originally posted by qty226:
quote:
Originally posted by xxGAMBITxx:
I believe this article is dead on. Probably a main reason why I'm alone is because I refuse to "take the test". lol

I'll say one thing, being raised by and around women has given me the "edge" on the female psyche...I leave tests for school and job/career promotions...relationships, I prefer knowing what's on your mind.


Well dont think of it as a test.

Im quite sure you've said something to your wife, girl friend, mom, sister.....just to see where her head was, right??

You dont realize it.........but you do it all the time. You ask questions, or make statements........to get answers.

Razz


Naww, when I was married I asked straight out questions/statements like "Why the fuck is the checking account short?" or "Wow, I'm so happy you sacrificed picking up baby formula so you can get yourself those new earings to make your girlfriend jealous..really, I'm ecstatic". lol
quote:
Originally posted by xxGAMBITxx:

Naww, when I was married I asked straight out questions/statements like "Why the fuck is the checking account short?" or "Wow, I'm so happy you sacrificed picking up baby formula so you can get yourself those new earings to make your girlfriend jealous..really, I'm ecstatic". lol


Youre too damn funny.......but the answers were wrong. lol

You should've told her to return those earrings, and because she has no self control, open her own checking account.

See.....? Big Grin
quote:
Originally posted by qty226:
quote:
Originally posted by xxGAMBITxx:

Naww, when I was married I asked straight out questions/statements like "Why the fuck is the checking account short?" or "Wow, I'm so happy you sacrificed picking up baby formula so you can get yourself those new earings to make your girlfriend jealous..really, I'm ecstatic". lol


Youre too damn funny.......but the answers were wrong. lol

You should've told her to return those earrings, and because she has no self control, open her own checking account.

See.....? Big Grin


Oh I did better than that. I just changed my direct deposit to go fully into my personal accounts without telling her and took my name off the joint account. Next time she went to do her "thang" she got a rude awakening. When she confronted me about it, my response was "enjoy the earings because instead of wearing them you might have to eat them. I suggest adding salt to improve the flavor."

I sure was known by alot of names ending in "asshole" that day. tongue
quote:
Originally posted by Tre:
Ronin10,

It amazes me how often you speak in general terms...'women this and women that'

Is there any particular reason why you do this, or could it be that all of the women you've dealt with have acted in a certain way?

Just curious.



This is odd???? How often do I generalize..all the time, sometimes, rarely, or never? Please count up all the times I have done this 'women this and women that' and send it to me in pdf format. Answer my questions Tre, and I shall answer yours.

If you have questions about the article, please ask Luigi Di Serio.
quote:
Originally posted by qty226:
I know im gonna hear it...........but i have to agree with this. Confused

I see it this way........

I love it when i know, a man can take charge of any situation. Having the ability to lead his, family, children, community.......is a turn on. (of course he has to be able to do this......without disrespect)

Its true, a man should be a man.....and not "man handled".


why are you going to hear it? because you believe in the article. at least you see it the way it might be.

i dont see what is wrong with the article, why would a woman want a pushover????
I think the article over-generalizes. Sure, we all "emotionally probe" our partners; it tells us about them and gives us some insight into what they think about us beyond their words, I suppose.

But if I got hit with that series of questions (except for the first one) it would raise a bunch of red flags with me. If you want to "test" me, observe my emotional responses to you when we disagree? how long do I "stay mad?" peep me when our plans change at the last minute?

...because most definitely I'm making these same observations of any woman I'm dating.

what we do is always more telling than what we say.
quote:
Originally posted by ronin10:
...Why are men so oblivious to this? There are two main reasons. First, it is all played out subconsciously, and second, we have been socially programmed through media, pop culture, and belief systems to become totally unaware of this fact....


I read a great book once that shed light on this subject. The author didn't hold back articulating the experiences and hunches that men can't always put his finger on.

The Blackmans guide to understanding the Blackwoman
Shahrazad Ali c.1989
quote:
Originally posted by ronin10:
....Women CREATE drama simply to put men to the test. Women are attention-seekers in constant need of reassurance and affirmation that someone cares for them and wants to protect them.....


It has to be mentally draining for a man to keep up with all the mental notes required in order to maintain a harmonious relationship with women suffering from the degree of insecurity described.

I don't believe that this is a natural state for most women thus it's not a permanent one. Like other mal-adaptions, it can be overcome. I mean at what stage in life do the test and fronts stop? Do the women described ever reach a point of realism and sincerity in their behaviors toward men? The stress caused seems like it would be unhealthy for both the man and the woman.
quote:
Originally posted by detroit1:
quote:
Originally posted by ronin10:
....Women CREATE drama simply to put men to the test. Women are attention-seekers in constant need of reassurance and affirmation that someone cares for them and wants to protect them.....


It has to be mentally draining for a man to keep up with all the mental notes required in order to maintain a harmonious relationship with women suffering from the degree of insecurity described.

I don't believe that this is a natural state for most women thus it's not a permanent one. Like other mal-adaptions, it can be overcome. I mean at what stage in life do the test and fronts stop? Do the women described ever reach a point of realism and sincerity in their behaviors toward men? The stress caused seems like it would be unhealthy for both the man and the woman.



Ask Vivica Fox. She's in her 40s, about to push 50, and she's still dating, or trying to date gangsta rappers and other alleged bad boys.
(Sigh) You know as an African-American woman who knows her emotional short comings, has studied an identified the roots of those wounds, and adamately works to keep them in check on a daily basis, its hard to read posts like this.

Are we ALL so messed up, and did we come out of the womb like that? Of course we are not, and no we didn't. We were socialzed, and traumatized in some way in our lives. To infer that we are ALL born bitter, and devious is a gross misjudgement and great mistep.

Once you do meet a sister who doesn't ask you those questions. Who could care less, because either you are going to be who you are, or not. What will you do? You actually have the audacity to think that in your short life span and limited amount of knowledge of a vass ethnic culture you have ALL African- American women down to a science?

I have had men do to me, the same things you described of women. I knew off the bat, what I was dealing with. I made a decision to stay with them, or move on. But I did not generalize their entire gender based upon my experiences.

I still believe their are men still trying to grow, and be free of their own social, educational, and economical limitations. Men who can forgive themselves and others for their shortcomings, men who live lives of purpose and balance. They are not perfect...the don't look like models...they aren't superheroes...they aren't millionares...they aren't bulletproof. They are simply men, good, strong, straight forward, and real. And they aren't at war with their African- American sisters...

I still believe, and I can believe because I know many of them. My grandfather, my Bishop, my uncles, my voice teacher, my Asst. Pastor...etc.

I still believe in the kind of men they represent...

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