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I found this very interesting. On yesterday I went to a happy hour function with my college roommate with a few people he knew from his job. It was for another sister who was leaving their company and going to ATL.

My boy is 30 years old and has been at this same Fortune 500 company since we got out of college. He has started at the bottom of the chain and worked his way up. He now is a manager of 50 or so people and his the nice "office" now.. So I am very proud of him. he deserves it.

Now back to the function. There were probably 20 people at the function. Maybe 1 or 2 whites, a few latinos, and the rest of us were black. Of the blacks there were only 3 black men and like 10 black women so I was happy Smile As the night went on the black women kept raggin on my boy because at work I guess he never speaks to them or says hello. He just acts like they do not exist according to them. So they were shocked that outside of work he is cool, about as "black" as they come, etc.

But this bothered me because I make it my duty to speak to another black while at work especially in corporate America. He explained it to them that at work you have to play the game to stay ahead.. but does playing the game mean totally ignorning your folks? So I told him you are at a point where you have put in work at that company and you should not be afraid to embrace other blacks who are there.

want to know what is your take on all of this.. mine is regardless of where you are, you need to make time for your people. And if your job does not like you interacting with your people then that is not the place for you..
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quote:

And if your job does not like you interacting with your people then that is not the place for you..


IMHO, in most places whites get nervous when blacks are tight. They hate that there may be something that they're not in on. I've seen this sort of thing played out in other places. Where one black finally reaches the top of the wood pile and then is not as helpful to others as he might be because he fears how whites perceive it. So I understand yor friend's reasoning. BUT I also agree with you that you can't allow yourself to be bound by that mentality even though there's some justification behind it.
I think it is critical for an 'oversight' person to be, and to be perceived as, even-handed.

He can talk, but he can't hang.

Sooner or later the ones you 'hang' with will compromise your integrity; with or without intent.

You son is right.

It's the job.

Not the corner.

Okay. Not the local 'hang out'

And...it's not about success. It is about responsibility.

Success is the result of exercising responsibility.

PEACE

Jim Chester
Lamp,
I guess I would want to know what is meant by he never speaks to them. Does he really ignore them or does he treat them as he treats everyone else? I have been in this situation before, and I was told by one sister outside the office that she felt I was a "mean and nasty person" because I did not speak to her. Well, I did speak to her, as I spoke to everyone else. I was cordial, said hello, when passing. I did not go out of my way, however, to speak to her (there were only the two of 'us' in the "department") for several reasons.

Firstly, I always err on the conservative side with male-female interactions in the work place. I give no one grounds for accusing me of inappropriate behavior or harassment. Secondly, I was an administrator over another area, I was not her direct supervisor, so I really had no need to speak to her. Thirdly, if I am at work, that is what I am there to do, work and not socialize. If you see me outside the office, that is a different story. Finally, there is the scenario that exists in my wife's office where there are a lot of "trifling, loud, do-nothing Negroes" with whom she does not wish to be identified or associated.
I think one should embrace their people wherever they are. More strongly, I would suggest never dissing yours - merely because they are black - like you. That creates a karmic debt that is difficult to repay.

That said, one must clearly 'handle their business'. When in Rome do as do Romans (without compromising your personal integrity). As you move along though - with greater power, certainly comes a greater opportunity to reach back and help others. It is our duty to do so.
Your boy has some real issues.

I make it a point to converse with as many people as possible.

It is totally foolish to keep a distance toward other Black folks. I find it valuable to collect all of the information possible about other people's views so that I can keep everything in mind as I operate within the environment.

I do remember three specific points of note regarding race at the job that I left this past summer.

1) I used to support the Coca Cola account. We had a planning meeting on how to address their RFP. For the first time there were 8 Black people in the room and no one of any other race. The sales manager made note of this fact.

2) I recall having a team meeting for all of the sales reps that I supported. As other folks left the room only the Blacks remained, maybe 6 in total. Everyone else began a "bytch session" about how the Whites that they work with have slighted them some way, some how with regard to their race (if you let them tell it). I chose not to contribute to the conversation in that manner. The top sales rep for our branch was a Black man. He was noticibly absent from the session. All that matters in the in is HOW MUCH REVENUE YOU ARE GOING TO BRING INTO THE COMPANY. If you can't hold your own in this position they are going to replace you with someone who can. I have since moved onto another job, a greater opportunity. I heard that they cleaned house at the end of the year. All of the senior sales management is gone. They were White. In this instance - it's not about "love". It's about production.

3) A few years back a Black guy who was the support agent for the Delta Air Lines team filed a complaint with the EEOC charging discrimination. I was a network consultant to this team of sales people. As the conflict was brewing one of the sales reps (a White guy) showed me an e-mail that the Black guy sent to the CUSTOMER. He showed that it was full of mispellings and inarticulation. He told me that this is a constant issue along with mistakes in the placement of orders. Lesson learned - don't feed the man with valid points for him to use against you. Ask someone to check your communications to a customer if you have challenges in this area. When you call the EEOC while you are working in a sales/commission environment you had better have a rock solid case.
quote:
He explained it to them that at work you have to play the game to stay ahead..



What he really mean is the white folk he work with do not promote Black folk who congrefate with other Black folk, they like negro behavior in which he has invested apparantly. Any slight appearance that you may be a lover of your people makes white folk angry and they will do what is necessary to make sure you do not attain any leadership roles. This is a reality that so many of us see everyday, we all have a few negroes we work with that love to be little lap dogs for white folk.
quote:
Originally posted by James Wesley Chester:

Sooner or later the ones you 'hang' with will compromise your integrity; with or without intent.

You son is right.

It's the job.

Not the corner.

Okay. Not the local 'hang out'

And...it's not about success. It is about responsibility.

Success is the result of exercising responsibility.

PEACE

Jim Chester


you just summed up his way of thinking.. but my thing is.. at work he hangs with the white boys hands down.. but i guess that is to stay on the good side of things??
quote:
Originally posted by kresge:
Lamp,
I guess I would want to know what is meant by he never speaks to them. Does he really ignore them or does he treat them as he treats everyone else? I have been in this situation before, and I was told by one sister outside the office that she felt I was a "mean and nasty person" because I did not speak to her. Well, I did speak to her, as I spoke to everyone else. I was cordial, said hello, when passing. I did not go out of my way, however, to speak to her (there were only the two of 'us' in the "department") for several reasons.


from what I know there are a few black women who he is cool with.. but he built that relationship with those because it involved the department they worked in. his department interacted with them. but the rest of the women he really has nothing to do with them. I guess my thing is, a simple hello hurts no one.
quote:
Originally posted by Faheem:
quote:
He explained it to them that at work you have to play the game to stay ahead..



What he really mean is the white folk he work with do not promote Black folk who congrefate with other Black folk, they like negro behavior in which he has invested apparantly. Any slight appearance that you may be a lover of your people makes white folk angry and they will do what is necessary to make sure you do not attain any leadership roles. This is a reality that so many of us see everyday, we all have a few negroes we work with that love to be little lap dogs for white folk.


i hear you on this.. and that is why my question is how much is too much in the drive for success.. now this is my boy who I would stand up for at any moment and time.. but at the same time he has put me to the curb as well to hang out with the "boys" at the job.. but hey I guess that is how he got to where he is at.. i refuse to stoop that low.. Accept me for who I am and everything is fine.

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