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My wife pursued me...Long story, but where I was mentally involved my tending bar at night and writing during the day--and living like a monk. We'd planned our first date, and I STOOD HER UP! (Figured that would stop her!) Wrong, Mrs. Thayfen is the pit-bull of love. Twelve years later: Four kids and a mortgage on a house full of happiness!
quote:
Originally posted by xxGAMBITxx:
Long as it's done with a modicum of respect, I wish it happened more often.



Im quoting you........because you posted last.

But question.....

I noticed that you and the other brothas here, spoke about respect.

Have a woman ever disrespected you, when pursuing you.....? If so......how.

I cant imagine that happening........

*Yo baby, bring ya azz here!!* ek
quote:
Originally posted by cakeaholic:
Just wondering if you fellas like when ladies pursue you?

Actually, I think that this is the preferable situation all around. Women always control the speed of the relationship anyway. If you're moving faster than her, you wind up chasing her away (women do not deal with pressure in relationships). However, if she's moving faster than you, then all you have to do is periodically put on the brakes by maintaining your self control. This only increases her interest in you (many men lack this self control, but women go crazy for it). So, it makes her chase you even more.

BTW, women love to chase. The sad part is, many men miss this. They don't understand that women want to work for a man's attention and affection. If they work for it, and then it's given, then the attention and affection are coupled with a sense of pride... the feeling that they deserve it because they earned it. When a man throws himself at a women, showering her with whatever he thinks will win her over, she immediately doubts his sincerity. And she should, because she hasn't done anything to earn that attention or affection, or whatever it is that's being thrown at her. When you tell a woman that she is special, you want her to believe you. And she will, if she knows that she has earned that special place.

Wise man say -

If she's chasing after you, she can't be getting rid of you. bsm
quote:
Originally posted by cakeaholic:
Just wondering if you fellas like when ladies pursue you? I do, Also just as side note I just recently stumbled on to that myspace site, I decided to put up a pick and within 48 hours I got a bunch white chicks trying to holla at me, thats very funny to me, I guess white girls are on their hustle.


i think for many women it's their only option. I personally think it shows confidence and strength.
quote:
Originally posted by qty226:
quote:
Originally posted by xxGAMBITxx:
Long as it's done with a modicum of respect, I wish it happened more often.



Im quoting you........because you posted last.

But question.....

I noticed that you and the other brothas here, spoke about respect.

Have a woman ever disrespected you, when pursuing you.....? If so......how.

I cant imagine that happening........

*Yo baby, bring ya azz here!!* ek


Oh its happened. They approach me, I get flattered; then they open thier mouths and I want to throw a round house kick to thier temples. upset

I actually had one female tell me.."Yo, you need to stop bullshittin and give up the sperm. I ain't got all night." She said this loud and in front of several other women whom I have a high degree of regard and respect for. Contrary to what women think about men, that is a mortifying scenario for any man with any shred of dignity.

ek

A simple whispered "Hey, you know, we could go somewhere a little more private." would of done the trick. bang
quote:
Originally posted by xxGAMBITxx:
I actually had one female tell me.."Yo, you need to stop bullshittin and give up the sperm. I ain't got all night." She said this loud and in front of several other women whom I have a high degree of regard and respect for.

Aggression is one thing, but this is straight up classless. A woman with no class has about as much chance of pricking my interest as a man does.

Dude, I soooo would have toyed with this girl... loudly! I'd have said, "Woman... I ain't no two-pump-chump! If you ain't got all night, then you ain't got what it takes! So, step off, before you get in over your head!"
quote:
Originally posted by Black Viking:
BTW, women love to chase. The sad part is, many men miss this. They don't understand that women want to work for a man's attention and affection. If they work for it, and then it's given, then the attention and affection are coupled with a sense of pride... the feeling that they deserve it because they earned it. When a man throws himself at a women, showering her with whatever he thinks will win her over, she immediately doubts his sincerity. And she should, because she hasn't done anything to earn that attention or affection, or whatever it is that's being thrown at her. When you tell a woman that she is special, you want her to believe you. And she will, if she knows that she has earned that special place.

Wise man say -

If she's chasing after you, she can't be getting rid of you. bsm



This is SOOOOOO true... I know this applies to no one here but the guys who go all out chasing a woman - these are the so called nice guys who come up with nothing.

I prefer letting the woman chase me - I tease and flirt enough to catch her attention and then let her make the major moves. I don't 'chase' anyone.
quote:
Originally posted by Black Viking:
quote:
Originally posted by xxGAMBITxx:
I actually had one female tell me.."Yo, you need to stop bullshittin and give up the sperm. I ain't got all night." She said this loud and in front of several other women whom I have a high degree of regard and respect for.

Aggression is one thing, but this is straight up classless. A woman with no class has about as much chance of pricking my interest as a man does.

Dude, I soooo would have toyed with this girl... loudly! I'd have said, "Woman... I ain't no two-pump-chump! If you ain't got all night, then you ain't got what it takes! So, step off, before you get in over your head!"


lol

Had I been a wee bit more sober, I would of done just that! bump
quote:
Originally posted by qty226:
Damnnn Gambit.....

Im sooo naive. Hopefully that'll change in time lol

I really didnt know, some women behaved like this..... Confused

But in all fairness, i guess thats what happens when 'anyone' is that aggressive.


Pretty much. Its ok to let your "inner beast" out but some people need to keep it on a short leash. Big Grin
quote:
Originally posted by Black Viking:
BTW, women love to chase. The sad part is, many men miss this. They don't understand that women want to work for a man's attention and affection. If they work for it, and then it's given, then the attention and affection are coupled with a sense of pride... the feeling that they deserve it because they earned it. When a man throws himself at a women, showering her with whatever he thinks will win her over, she immediately doubts his sincerity. And she should, because she hasn't done anything to earn that attention or affection, or whatever it is that's being thrown at her. When you tell a woman that she is special, you want her to believe you. And she will, if she knows that she has earned that special place.


tfro I do know many women to whom this woudl apply!

quote:
Originally posted by xxGAMBITxx:
Pretty much. Its ok to let your "inner beast" out but some people need to keep it on a short leash. Big Grin


lol lol THAT'S really funny! Big Grin
Damn Ebony, your Woman Card is hereby revoked! You're giving that nonsense a thumbs up?! Confused Razz

Women do not enjoy men artificially putting the brakes on a relationship or falsely playing Mr. Nonchalant. It's quite frustrating and I wish men would stop passing that ridiculous message along to their brothers, as it taints the 2 or 3 good ones left.

On top of that, the ALPHA male is still the most widely desired. The Hunter. You don't have to be all friggin Desperado to pursue a woman and that is where some of you seem to have come up short. You probably got, what my mother calls, "beggy beggy" instead of pursuing with confidence. That's why you finished last.
quote:
Originally posted by Frenchy:
Damn Ebony, your Woman Card is hereby revoked! You're giving that nonsense a thumbs up?! Confused Razz

Women do not enjoy men artificially putting the brakes on a relationship or falsely playing Mr. Nonchalant. It's quite frustrating and I wish men would stop passing that ridiculous message along to their brothers, as it taints the 2 or 3 good ones left.

On top of that, the ALPHA male is still the most widely desired. The Hunter. You don't have to be all friggin Desperado to pursue a woman and that is where some of you seem to have come up short. You probably got, what my mother calls, "beggy beggy" instead of pursuing with confidence. That's why you finished last.



yeah
quote:
Originally posted by Frenchy:
Damn Ebony, your Woman Card is hereby revoked! You're giving that nonsense a thumbs up?! Confused Razz

Ebony knows the truth when she sees it.

And the truth will set you free!

quote:
Women do not enjoy men artificially putting the brakes on a relationship or falsely playing Mr. Nonchalant.

There is nothing artificial or false about a man slowing down an aggressive woman, any more than a woman doing the same with an aggressive man. Geesh, aren't you the one who's always complaining about double standards?

Again, women control the speed of a relationship. Nothing goes forward unless she wants to go forward. The only way for a man to get even a modicum of control is to display control over himself, and to move a little slower than she is. Now Frenchy, I did not say don't move at all. I said move slower.

quote:
It's quite frustrating and I wish men would stop passing that ridiculous message along to their brothers, as it taints the 2 or 3 good ones left.

Brothers, do not listen to this woman! You don't do yourself or your woman any harm by moving slower. Especially since your natural inclination is to move waaaayyy too fast!

quote:
On top of that, the ALPHA male is still the most widely desired. The Hunter.

Alpha does not automatically equal hunter. Hunter is a job. Alpha is a position that can be gained in a great many ways other than performing one simplistic task.

quote:
You don't have to be all friggin Desperado to pursue a woman and that is where some of you seem to have come up short. You probably got, what my mother calls, "beggy beggy" instead of pursuing with confidence. That's why you finished last.

That's exactly what I'm talking about. In order to persue with confidence, a man has to divorce himself from the outcome of the pursute. That means, he has to keep his wits about him, and not go stumbling down hill just because some woman is yanking him around by his chain (or yanking him around by his whatever). bsm

Remember guys, keep your feet underneath you. In relationships, you don't get what you want or deserve. You only get what you negotiate. All negotiations are won on patience!
Last edited {1}
Awwww Frenchy! Don't make me give up the card! Eek

Now, I know you can't possibly prefer the kind of man that comes up to you with some tired-azz, way overused line that he heard 3 years ago on Comic View, talking about how you look this, and make him wanna do that, and he's going to take you here and there and back again ... all the while drooling down the front of your shirt while he's trying to ask you your name?? Eek Confused

IF I was going to pursue a man, and aggressively at that ... he's definitely got to show some backbone to earn my respect .... then he's gotta give me whatever I want to earn anything else! Razz There's not a whole lot I can do with a "yes" man. And anthing worth having is worth waiting for!

{And just between me and you .... there's nothing more satisfying than when that Hunter gets captured by the Game! Wink )
quote:
Originally posted by EbonyRose:
IF I was going to pursue a man, and aggressively at that ... he's definitely got to show some backbone to earn my respect .... then he's gotta give me whatever I want to earn anything else! Razz There's not a whole lot I can do with a "yes" man. And anthing worth having is worth waiting for!

Oh Mistress... you are so wise. karate
quote:
Originally posted by Frenchy:

Women do not enjoy men artificially putting the brakes on a relationship or falsely playing Mr. Nonchalant. It's quite frustrating and I wish men would stop passing that ridiculous message along to their brothers, as it taints the 2 or 3 good ones left.

On top of that, the ALPHA male is still the most widely desired. The Hunter. You don't have to be all friggin Desperado to pursue a woman and that is where some of you seem to have come up short. You probably got, what my mother calls, "beggy beggy" instead of pursuing with confidence. That's why you finished last.


Guide To Male Happiness Rule #1: Women are the worst source of information about what women want.

I wasn't advocating "slamming on the brakes" after the relationship has started. I'm talking about in the build up to there being a relationship. I definitely play it cool.
quote:
Originally posted by Black Viking:
quote:
Originally posted by Frenchy:
Damn Ebony, your Woman Card is hereby revoked! You're giving that nonsense a thumbs up?! Confused Razz

Ebony knows the truth when she sees it.

And the truth will set you free!

quote:
Women do not enjoy men artificially putting the brakes on a relationship or falsely playing Mr. Nonchalant.

There is nothing artificial or false about a man slowing down an aggressive woman, any more than a woman doing the same with an aggressive man. Geesh, aren't you the one who's always complaining about double standards?

Again, women control the speed of a relationship. Nothing goes forward unless she wants to go forward. The only way for a man to get even a modicum of control is to display control over himself, and to move a little slower than she is. Now Frenchy, I did not say don't move at all. I said move slower.

quote:
It's quite frustrating and I wish men would stop passing that ridiculous message along to their brothers, as it taints the 2 or 3 good ones left.

Brothers, do not listen to this woman! You don't do yourself or your woman any harm by moving slower. Especially since your natural inclination is to move waaaayyy too fast!

quote:
On top of that, the ALPHA male is still the most widely desired. The Hunter.

Alpha does not automatically equal hunter. Hunter is a job. Alpha is a position that can be gained in a great many ways other than performing one simplistic task.

quote:
You don't have to be all friggin Desperado to pursue a woman and that is where some of you seem to have come up short. You probably got, what my mother calls, "beggy beggy" instead of pursuing with confidence. That's why you finished last.

That's exactly what I'm talking about. In order to persue with confidence, a man has to divorce himself from the outcome of the pursute. That means, he has to keep his wits about him, and not go stumbling down hill just because some woman is yanking him around by his chain (or yanking him around by his whatever). bsm

Remember guys, keep your feet underneath you. In relationships, you don't get what you want or deserve. You only get what you negotiate. All negotiations are won on patience!


A man who knows what he's talking about tfro
quote:
Originally posted by HonestBrother:
quote:
Originally posted by Frenchy:
What is the point of interacting with women if your ears are perpetually filled with wax regarding what they have to say? Food for thought. I'm outta here.



I listen to women.... but NOT on the topic of women....It's called experience.. the BEST advice I've EVER gotten about women always came from men Big Grin



Please dont taket this the wrong way.

But when a man tells me, that he gets advice about women.....from another man, i realize, that this may be the reason why hes still single.

Its the same for women. Instead of just getting advice only from my girl friends, i grab some advice from my guy friends.

It gives me balance....
quote:
Originally posted by qty226:
quote:
Originally posted by HonestBrother:
quote:
Originally posted by Frenchy:
What is the point of interacting with women if your ears are perpetually filled with wax regarding what they have to say? Food for thought. I'm outta here.



I listen to women.... but NOT on the topic of women....It's called experience.. the BEST advice I've EVER gotten about women always came from men Big Grin



Please dont taket this the wrong way.

But when a man tells me, that he gets advice about women.....from another man, i realize, that this may be the reason why hes still single.

Its the same for women. Instead of just getting advice only from my girl friends, i grab some advice from my guy friends.

It gives me balance....


Don't worry, Qty... no offense taken.... I'm partly yanking your chain... Balance is good... you're right...
Last edited {1}
quote:
Originally posted by EbonyRose:
Awwww Frenchy! Don't make me give up the card! Eek

Now, I know you can't possibly prefer the kind of man that comes up to you with some tired-azz, way overused line that he heard 3 years ago on Comic View, talking about how you look this, and make him wanna do that, and he's going to take you here and there and back again ... all the while drooling down the front of your shirt while he's trying to ask you your name?? Eek Confused

IF I was going to pursue a man, and aggressively at that ... he's definitely got to show some backbone to earn my respect .... then he's gotta give me whatever I want to earn anything else! Razz There's not a whole lot I can do with a "yes" man. And anthing worth having is worth waiting for!

{And just between me and you .... there's nothing more satisfying than when that Hunter gets captured by the Game! Wink )


And of course I make an exception when it comes to the mistress of the house karate
Awww HB and BV ... y'all are so sweet! kiss

While I am not an expert on being aggressive ... and, in fact, could use a big chunk of it added to my personality ... I'd rather get what I get because it is given to me, not because I take it. To me, that's the only way to know for sure it's sincere.

(This, of course, excludes all hit-it-and-quit-it type relationships!! That's another thread!) Big Grin Big Grin

laugh
quote:
Originally posted by qty226:
quote:
Originally posted by HonestBrother:
quote:
Originally posted by Frenchy:
What is the point of interacting with women if your ears are perpetually filled with wax regarding what they have to say? Food for thought. I'm outta here.



I listen to women.... but NOT on the topic of women....It's called experience.. the BEST advice I've EVER gotten about women always came from men Big Grin



Please dont taket this the wrong way.

But when a man tells me, that he gets advice about women.....from another man, i realize, that this may be the reason why hes still single.

Its the same for women. Instead of just getting advice only from my girl friends, i grab some advice from my guy friends.

It gives me balance....


Sounds like a good plan to me. Assuming the advice giver actually has a decent relationship to use a visual aid. tongue
quote:
Originally posted by HonestBrother:
quote:
Originally posted by qty226:
Instead of just getting advice only from my girl friends, i grab some advice from my guy friends.

It gives me balance....


Don't worry, Qty... no offense taken.... I'm partly yanking your chain... Balance is good... you're right...

I know I'm the last guy you expected to say this, but I'm going to say it anyway (I'm just in that kind of mood today)...

Balance Schmalance!!!

I learn way more about women by observing them and the choices that they actually make, than I ever do listening to them talk about what they think they want.

*Black Viking takes a deep breath and returns to his center* bsm
quote:
Originally posted by Black Viking:
quote:
Originally posted by HonestBrother:
quote:
Originally posted by qty226:
Instead of just getting advice only from my girl friends, i grab some advice from my guy friends.

It gives me balance....


Don't worry, Qty... no offense taken.... I'm partly yanking your chain... Balance is good... you're right...

I know I'm the last guy you expected to say this, but I'm going to say it anyway (I'm just in that kind of mood today)...

Balance Schmalance!!!

I learn way more about women by observing them and the choices that they actually make, than I ever do listening to them talk about what they think they want.

*Black Viking takes a deep breath and returns to his center* bsm



lol bump lol bump
Hmmm ... this is very interesting, guys!! And I've got a question.

Would you say that you find the information provided to you about women by women erroneous because:

a) they tend to tell you one thing and mean another? Or,

b) they themselves aren't really sure about the information they're providing? Confused In other words, they think/say they want "X" but in reality "Y" is what tends works better for them?
quote:
Originally posted by EbonyRose:
b) they themselves aren't really sure about the information they're providing? Confused In other words, they think/say they want "X" but in reality "Y" is what tends works better for them?

It's more like they think/say they want "X" but in reality they choose "Y".

But, that doesn't mean that "Y" actually works better. It's just what they want. Wink
quote:
Originally posted by EbonyRose:
Hmmm ... this is very interesting, guys!! And I've got a question.

Would you say that you find the information provided to you about women by women erroneous because:

a) they tend to tell you one thing and mean another? Or,

b) they themselves aren't really sure about the information they're providing? Confused In other words, they think/say they want "X" but in reality "Y" is what tends works better for them?


I think women tend to tell you the things they think they're supposed to want. It's worse with younger women. I believe this is not as accurate when applied to older women.

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