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I agree that all boys should have a good male figure in their lives. It's critical for their development and they need male guidance, especially as they become older. Not every woman can raise a boy to be a successful man. However, there are examples of women who have successfully raised their sons to be good men (e.g. Bernie Mac). It takes a strong, centered woman to do this. She shouldn't ignore facts that do not support her bias.

 

She does go a little too far talking about how her five-year-old son emulates his big sister, LOL. He's five, not fifteen. Also, she has bought into the gender stereotype. Not all men prefer or are even good at building things. That doesn't make them any less of a man. Some women are really good at building things. Isn't she aware that there are women construction workers, carpenters, and architects? She can find some of them on YouTube, LOL.

 

Saluting Single Moms Who Raised Famous Sons

 

Yeah. Ouch. LOL

Originally Posted by EarthAndSky:

I agree that all boys should have a good male figure in their lives. It's critical for their development and they need male guidance, especially as they become older. Not every woman can raise a boy to be a successful man. However, there are examples of women who have successfully raised their sons to be good men (e.g. Bernie Mac). It takes a strong, centered woman to do this. She shouldn't ignore facts that do not support her bias.

 

She does go a little too far talking about how her five-year-old son emulates his big sister, LOL. He's five, not fifteen. Also, she has bought into the gender stereotype. Not all men prefer or are even good at building things. That doesn't make them any less of a man. Some women are really good at building things. Isn't she aware that there are women construction workers, carpenters, and architects? She can find some of them on YouTube, LOL.

 

Saluting Single Moms Who Raised Famous Sons

 

Yeah. Ouch. LOL

 

THANK YOU! Again, Earth and Sky.

 

People make blanket statements like that all day long as if being a single mother is something new.  Millions of women have been single mothers since the beginning of time.  From their account, you would think that never in the history of humanity have men died, or went off to war and never returned, or just left their family/child(ren) high and dry, or divorced their wives, or were do-nothing alcoholics or drug addicts.  

 

Hell, it was only in recent decades that men in so-called "intact" families did anything other than keep a roof over the child's head and clothes on their backs, and give a pat on the head every now and then anyway.  Women have always did most of the actual rearing of children even with a husband/father in the home.

 

Boys do need male influence and guidance, but not having it or much of it is not what makes or breaks a male child or male adult.  There are far more mitigating circumstances that factor in that people that promote this kind of rhetoric conveniently leave out.  

 

Some of the greatest men in the world and in the history of the world were raised without a father in the home.  So, under the premise of the "your male child is doomed without a father/father in the home", how does that happen?   

Last edited by sunnubian

I find that video very touching.  My parents were divorced and I had TWO older sisters.  But that means I saw them fighting with each other.  LOL

 

But I got to spend weekends with my father.

 

My father didn't build things.  In fact I thought he was rather bad at it by the time I was a teenager.  I could fix my bike better than he could.

 

But she is talking about a 5 year old.  She has not taken into account him going to school with lots of other boys yet.  So it may end up being less of a problem than she thinks right now.

 

That was kind of funny, his not knowing what a urinal was.  I don't remember when I found out.  But there were urinals in the boys lavatory at my grade school so he would see other boys using them once he goes to school.

 

She does have a point though I think she is exaggerating some things by worrying too much LIKE A WOMAN.

 

LOL

 

Xum

 

But a girl squealing because of a puppy is silly too.  Ladies don't do that.  We need more Dragon Ladies around here.  ROFL

Last edited by Xumbrarchist

  You know....I'm kinda torn..cuz I rather a male be raised by a good parent man or woman than to sacrifice his childhood to include the second parent who may not be model worthy.  Cuz all black males are not black men.  Sorry.  Those who come out of the pen[prison] with social issues are not SUITABLE to raise black males in the black community cuz they have ALREADY been a type of  "model."  And look what that type of model has done to our male children? That goes for drug dealers, con men, skirt chasers and men who use women.  Do I want my son to be around MONSTERS like that?  That would be a hellllllllllllllll no.  Cuz I've seen to many young brothas grow to be destructive and disrespectful to women....especially the black women who took care of them,  For those brothas being kept around by women cuz these women don't want their sons to be  raised without their fathers is doing a disservice to their children.  Cuz if the father or mother for that matter is DISRUPTIVE? Each doesn't need to be NO WHERE around.  Why do that to a kid?  That's cruel. 

 

Additionally, let's not forget that there are MORE black kids in foster care in the history of us being in this country.  Black people USED to pride themselves on the ability to raise children...even massa's children.  No one thus far has done it better than us.  But!  Here recently....well in the last 20 or 30 years or so.,,,black males have been the target in a different way than they were during the Jim Crow era.  And the way that some black men are in their mentality?  You know the ones who spread the seed wherever they lay their hat, or the ones who put their "homies" in front of their children and go off and commit crimes that will ultimately land them in jail for the good portion if not the entire childhood years of their children's development?  These men are better off not being around them...save the heartbreak and disappointment and planting the pattern cuz all it does is create damaged, dysfunctional and broken people...and hey!  We got enough of them already.  No a woman can't tell a male child how to be a man....but! She can TEACH him how to be a decent respectful HUMAN being and with that he can help himself evolved into manhood cuz it's innate for him to do so. I mean a tree isn't gonna grow up to be a bush...you get me?

 

 Also just as curious as children are... they will look outside their home to find that example of manhood...,and there's where the adjustment lies.  They will take a piece of identity from one man they admire and then take other portions from other men.  Cuz why? To put the puzzle together-males are genius in that area.  Cuz most black men without fathers [are so hurt that they] will focus on not repeating the bad habits of their absent father by becoming a better parent for their potential children.  And the truth is historically in most black families....black fathers were absent.,,,,but!  We had extended families and the close-knit black community to make up the difference.  But we don't have that anymore and we don't [imo] have ENOUGH black men to come to the table and do the right thing with their children and children in the community.  Hell...today we don't have ENOUGH black women....and I tell ya...Grandma is tired and she ain't gonna raise no kids...cuz why?  She may be a kid herself.  These days young mothers are having children at 12 and 13 years old making the new trend granny all of 35 of 36, if that.  Might even be younger.  So the dynamics of grandma not being available,the collapse of the black community, the ongoing incarceration and drug use and/or bad behavior of male and female parents have put an even larger gap in the socialization of black children.

 

Nowadays, STRANGERS are raising black kids and doing it POORLY.  And for the two-parent family currently?  Seeing that is a rarity unless it is a blended family dynamics.  With 55% of the divorce rate in this country, most initial two-parent families are divorced by now and the social mentality of a collect community is not the same as it was when I was growing up and even then....black families struggled to stay together.  And because I'm not a man, I won't be cold blooded and say some black men don't know HOW to be men to their children....cuz there are too many factors in that statement.  I will just say that it is a personal choice for black men to be there for their sons cuz they know first hand what it feels like to be a sitting target.  They know what it feels like to be racially profiled, demean and put down simply cuz their existence threatens the "white" psyche.  But I think in terms of manhood....I think many upon many black men struggle with that identity simply cuz massa consistently tries to rape them of it i.e. their black manhood,  And if  a black man hasn't found himself by early adolescent to know what a true man is?  How can he possibly pass it on to his son[s] if he doesn't even KNOW himself?  So the REAL question may be.  What is the [true] definition of a Black man?  Do yall know? Cuz I sho don't.   But! 

.   

Last edited by Kocolicious
Originally Posted by RadioRaheem:

Allen Iverson, Dennis Rodman,  Chris brown, Terrell Owens, DMX, mike Tyson...

 

Jeffrey Dahmer

 

Ted Bundy

 

 

James Earl Ray

 

James Colescott, Grand Dragon of the KKK

 

George Zimmerman

 

Michael Dunn

 

Every police officer that murdered a Black person in cold blood

 

This list is endless the number of males in America [and the world] that are not raised by 'single mothers' that turn out to be killers, serial killers, racist psychopaths, rapists, child molesters, child killers, swindlers, sadists, hate women, on drugs, sell drugs, fight and kill each other, etc., etc. 

 

Originally Posted by sunnubian:
Originally Posted by RadioRaheem:

Allen Iverson, Dennis Rodman,  Chris brown, Terrell Owens, DMX, mike Tyson...

 

Jeffrey Dahmer

 

Ted Bundy

 

 

James Earl Ray

 

James Colescott, Grand Dragon of the KKK

 

George Zimmerman

 

Michael Dunn

 

Every police officer that murdered a Black person in cold blood

 

This list is endless the number of males in America [and the world] that are not raised by 'single mothers' that turn out to be killers, serial killers, racist psychopaths, rapists, child molesters, child killers, swindlers, sadists, hate women, on drugs, sell drugs, fight and kill each other, etc., etc. 

 

 

Speak the truth & shame the devil 

Originally Posted by sunnubian:
Originally Posted by RadioRaheem:

Allen Iverson, Dennis Rodman,  Chris brown, Terrell Owens, DMX, mike Tyson...

 

Jeffrey Dahmer

 

Ted Bundy

 

 

James Earl Ray

 

James Colescott, Grand Dragon of the KKK

 

George Zimmerman

 

Michael Dunn

 

Every police officer that murdered a Black person in cold blood

 

This list is endless the number of males in America [and the world] that are not raised by 'single mothers' that turn out to be killers, serial killers, racist psychopaths, rapists, child molesters, child killers, swindlers, sadists, hate women, on drugs, sell drugs, fight and kill each other, etc., etc. 

 

 

+ How do we fix those people you listed when our communities are so messed up?  The Youtuber must have hit home with her viewpoint.  I guess you can't debate her point of view.  The men I listed come from female headed households and HAVE STRONG EMOTIONAL PROBLEMS!!!  Female are mostly emotional and they transfer that emotion to their kids WHEN THERE IS NO BALANCE from a HUSBAND.  She stated that sons will eventually take on feminine reactions and characteristics due to the fact that he is around mom and grandmom and auntie all the time.  At school. even more females....after awhile we will have a community full of young males like this...

 

Last edited by RadioRaheem
Originally Posted by RadioRaheem:
Originally Posted by sunnubian:
Originally Posted by RadioRaheem:

Allen Iverson, Dennis Rodman,  Chris brown, Terrell Owens, DMX, mike Tyson...

 

Jeffrey Dahmer

 

Ted Bundy

 

 

James Earl Ray

 

James Colescott, Grand Dragon of the KKK

 

George Zimmerman

 

Michael Dunn

 

Every police officer that murdered a Black person in cold blood

 

This list is endless the number of males in America [and the world] that are not raised by 'single mothers' that turn out to be killers, serial killers, racist psychopaths, rapists, child molesters, child killers, swindlers, sadists, hate women, on drugs, sell drugs, fight and kill each other, etc., etc. 

 

 

+ How do we fix those people you listed when our communities are so messed up?  The Youtuber must have hit home with her viewpoint.  I guess you can't debate her point of view.  The men I listed come from female headed households and HAVE STRONG EMOTIONAL PROBLEMS!!!  Female are mostly emotional and they transfer that emotion to their kids WHEN THERE IS NO BALANCE from a HUSBAND.  She stated that sons will eventually take on feminine reactions and characteristics due to the fact that he is around mom and grandmom and auntie all the time.  At school. even more females....after awhile we will have a community full of young males like this...

 

 

That premise is ridiculous.  

 

The first problem with it is assuming that boys raised in by a single mother are not around other males, men.  

 

The second problem is that girls raised by single fathers rarely turn out to be gay.

 

So, by her premise, boys raised by single mothers will turn out to be gay [even though the vast majority of Gay people were raised by two parents], so that leaves her needing to explain why so many Gay people [the majority of] are still Gay even though they were raised by both parents.

 

All of this attacking the Black males sexuality, attacking the character and image of the Black females and the continuous attack of the Black male character and image was initiated by racist propaganda in the first place to serve as implantation of a self-destructive Self-Fulfilling Prophecy Psychology in the Black psyche to aid in the destruction of the Black race.  

 

It beyond time for Black people to start taking down and destroying all these Black tools of the Western/American Propaganda Machine, with the same damn malice they are using to destroy the Black race, Black males, Black females and Black children.  They are no more than the "Stephens" of the Black race.

Originally Posted by sunnubian:
Originally Posted by RadioRaheem:
Originally Posted by sunnubian:
Originally Posted by RadioRaheem:

Allen Iverson, Dennis Rodman,  Chris brown, Terrell Owens, DMX, mike Tyson...

 

Jeffrey Dahmer

 

Ted Bundy

 

 

James Earl Ray

 

James Colescott, Grand Dragon of the KKK

 

George Zimmerman

 

Michael Dunn

 

Every police officer that murdered a Black person in cold blood

 

This list is endless the number of males in America [and the world] that are not raised by 'single mothers' that turn out to be killers, serial killers, racist psychopaths, rapists, child molesters, child killers, swindlers, sadists, hate women, on drugs, sell drugs, fight and kill each other, etc., etc. 

 

 

+ How do we fix those people you listed when our communities are so messed up?  The Youtuber must have hit home with her viewpoint.  I guess you can't debate her point of view.  The men I listed come from female headed households and HAVE STRONG EMOTIONAL PROBLEMS!!!  Female are mostly emotional and they transfer that emotion to their kids WHEN THERE IS NO BALANCE from a HUSBAND.  She stated that sons will eventually take on feminine reactions and characteristics due to the fact that he is around mom and grandmom and auntie all the time.  At school. even more females....after awhile we will have a community full of young males like this...

 

 

That premise is ridiculous.  

 

The first problem with it is assuming that boys raised in by a single mother are not around other males, men.  

 

The second problem is that girls raised by single fathers rarely turn out to be gay.

 

So, by her premise, boys raised by single mothers will turn out to be gay [even though the vast majority of Gay people were raised by two parents], so that leaves her needing to explain why so many Gay people [the majority of] are still Gay even though they were raised by both parents.

 

All of this attacking the Black males sexuality, attacking the character and image of the Black females and the continuous attack of the Black male character and image was initiated by racist propaganda in the first place to serve as implantation of a self-destructive Self-Fulfilling Prophecy Psychology in the Black psyche to aid in the destruction of the Black race.  

 

It beyond time for Black people to start taking down and destroying all these Black tools of the Western/American Propaganda Machine, with the same damn malice they are using to destroy the Black race, Black males, Black females and Black children.  They are no more than the "Stephens" of the Black race.

+ She was talking about effeminate men who have no access to men in the household.  That's the problem.  Yes, Gay people come from 2 parent homes, but she was talking about the overloaded female environments (She actually should have added the Black Church also) that young men are forced into.  No balance...that's the point.  We have too much celebration of single motherness and not celebrations of wedding anniversaries, like we had in the past.  

 

The youtuber was again just stating fact from her own perspective.  She is recognizing that she needs a man for her son....fortunately for her, her dad is available, in many to most cases, granddad is not there to help.   

Seriously, there are black men out there who are willing to mentor boys. Instead of complaining about single women raising sons, be nice and let them know about these mentoring programs or, if you are a guy, volunteer to mentor a little brother who really needs male guidance. 

 

http://steveharveymentoring.com/mentoring/

 

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/...elebr_b_4584792.html

 

http://www.urbanyouth.org/docs...esOnMentoring_08.pdf

 

http://www.needld.org/programs-services/aammi

 

Of course, there is Big Brothers Big Sisters. They have many branches throughout the USA.

 

If all else fails, marry those single black women with children, so that they will not have to raise their sons by themselves. 

 

Maybe those countries where polygamy is allowed have the right idea. At least, there aren't many single women raising children all by themselves in those countries. Although, having 50 wives, regardless of how wealthy the man may be, is absolutely ridiculous. 

Last edited by EarthAndSky
Originally Posted by EarthAndSky:

If all else fails, marry those single black women with children, so that they will not have to raise their sons by themselves. 

 

Maybe those countries where polygamy is allowed have the right idea. At least, there aren't many single women raising children all by themselves in those countries. Although, having 50 wives, regardless of how wealthy the man may be, is absolutely ridiculous. 

 

If that starts to happen, the Black Tools who keep spreading and disseminating racist propaganda stereotyping against the Black race, particularly, African Americans in America, would bombard the Black psyche with a psychological warfare of media-induced conflict, as it is trying to do now, in order to keep the Black race and African America divided against itself.

 

African Americans, and African American women had the audacity to not abort of adopt out their children regardless of marital status, and by God, they are going to be made to PAY for going against Western religious dictates of putting up the fake image of "traditional" families and marriage.  

 

God forbid that "traditional" families, marriage and child rearing of predominate Western religious doctrine and patriarchal dictates be proven to not be the only way to have successful families and children, so of course, any attempts must be thwarted by saturating such communities with drugs, economic downturn, guns and negative Self-Fulfilling Prophecy Propaganda, to give the appearance and ingrain in the psyche of those who dare, that it is the marital status, or family dynamic, that is the one and only cause of any and all problems in such a group of people.  

Last edited by sunnubian
Originally Posted by EarthAndSky:

Seriously, there are black men out there who are willing to mentor boys. Instead of complaining about single women raising sons, be nice and let them know about these mentoring programs or, if you are a guy, volunteer to mentor a little brother who really needs male guidance. 

 

http://steveharveymentoring.com/mentoring/

 

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/...elebr_b_4584792.html

 

http://www.urbanyouth.org/docs...esOnMentoring_08.pdf

 

http://www.needld.org/programs-services/aammi

 

Of course, there is Big Brothers Big Sisters. They have many branches throughout the USA.

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dimPfYD5xrs

 

http://www.edgeboston.com/news...writes_tell-all_book

 

 

Originally Posted by EarthAndSky:

If all else fails, marry those single black women with children, so that they will not have to raise their sons by themselves. 

 

Maybe those countries where polygamy is allowed have the right idea. At least, there aren't many single women raising children all by themselves in those countries. Although, having 50 wives, regardless of how wealthy the man may be, is absolutely ridiculous. 

 

it is not the responsibility of the next man to fix the last dudes situation...those guys are called Simps.  It is her responsibility to date up in the first place.  

Brotha RR wrote: it is not the responsibility of the next man to fix the last dudes situation...those guys are called Simps.  It is her responsibility to date up in the first place.  

 

  And that's the problem.  Yeah it may be that she needs to date up...but!  That has nothing what so ever to do with her son.  Why should he be the victim of her mistake?  And since we are discussing on another post about addressing our issues....this is one of ;em.  A real man...won't even look at the fact that this boy's mother dated down.  He will look at the fact that this young boy needs a positive role model.  And if he fits that role....then as a black man he should have no problem showing young brotha the ropes.  However, we are still being petty about things that are extremely IMMATURE and irrelevant.  While dealing with all that empty time...this young boy goes without a male figure to look up to simply because some brothas JUDGE and don't think that it's their responsibility to be in a young boy's life.  But in fact it is their responsibility i.e. the black man's.  It's his responsibility as a male member of the black community.  If he doesn't feel that then that's another issue we NEED to address.  Cuz the person losing out or people losing out...are OUR YOUNG BOYS.  So instead of dating up....black men NEED to man up and stop being WIMPS.  And do the RIGHT thing for their culture and STOP playing this ridiculous blame game.  Cuz again...the only ones to lose in it are the children.  But!

 

Last edited by Kocolicious
Originally Posted by RadioRaheem:
 

it is not the responsibility of the next man to fix the last dudes situation...those guys are called Simps.  It is her responsibility to date up in the first place.  

 

So, the veil has been pulled back to reveal the hidden agenda behind all of this Black-woman, Black "single-mother" hating rhetoric.

 

Not enough African American men are making/seeing a big enough difference between women who are single mothers and women who aren't.

 

Not enough African American men possess the social inhibitions needed for their dating and marrying habits to be controlled by anything or anyone outside themselves, therefore, the western/American propaganda machine is using the media/social media/etc., to socially engineer/condition it [or more of it] into them.   

 

Yeah, the more Black men they can get to hate and despise their own women, the more it keeps the Black population down and increases friction, betrayal and contempt in the Black race.  

Originally Posted by RadioRaheem:

 

Okay. Now you are just throwing up obstacles. Not all organizations that help children are filled with or run by pedophiles! 

 

Problem: Single women raising sons without a good black male role model anywhere around

 

Solution: Mentoring programs

 

You can't complain about single women raising sons while at the same time discard anything that would help them out. Many agencies do screen or run background checks on volunteers. Yes, they might not catch all of the bad guys but would you prefer to just sit at home complaining about single women raising sons or would you prefer to be a part of the solution? Have you considered mentoring a boy or two in your community? 

 

Be a part of the solution, not the problem!

 

Originally Posted by RadioRaheem:
 

 

it is not the responsibility of the next man to fix the last dudes situation...those guys are called Simps.  It is her responsibility to date up in the first place.  

 

After the fact. She already has a child by a man who is immature and irresponsible among other things. How is 'dating up' going to fix her current situation? 

 

A man who would impregnate a woman and then shirk his responsibility to that woman and child is no man at all. He is a coward. He is immature. It is wrong and incorrect to place the blame and burden entirely on the woman. She didn't get pregnant by herself!!!

Originally Posted by EarthAndSky:
Originally Posted by RadioRaheem:
 

 

it is not the responsibility of the next man to fix the last dudes situation...those guys are called Simps.  It is her responsibility to date up in the first place.  

 

After the fact. She already has a child by a man who is immature and irresponsible among other things. How is 'dating up' going to fix her current situation? 

 

A man who would impregnate a woman and then shirk his responsibility to that woman and child is no man at all. He is a coward. He is immature. It is wrong and incorrect to place the blame and burden entirely on the woman. She didn't get pregnant by herself!!!

 

+ He is immature, yet hand selected by that woman...says a lot about her doesn't it?

Brotha RR wrote:  + He is immature, yet hand selected by that woman...says a lot about her doesn't it?

 

  No one is SAYING that this type of [young] black woman isn't mature with the lack of ability to select men wisely.  Hell...both parties are immature.  But that doesn't change the fact there is a twisted mentality that says both are cruising on each other without even THINKING about the consequences of that "cruising" behavior  which most times will bring forth a child....so what then?  Does the black male have a RIGHT to pass judgment as a way out to do nothing at all?  Look....just cuz a woman's failure to identify the best type of man for her doesn't mean that she has to sit on that mistake by herself and the male who made it with her is awarded a get outta jail card.  The male doesn't get off scotch free from the responsibility of his behavior simply because the woman should have known he was a creep.  That's ridicule my brotha...come on.   In life there are gonna be social relationship mistakes on both sides of the pancake.  The difference?  The man can ALWAYS walk away and pretend the mistake NEVER happened.  The woman? Welll...she has to come to terms to the options she may have to take if she discovers she's pregnant. But!

 

Really. Like let's talk "shop." eh?  This behavior of the male walking away without CONSCIOUS of the consequences is nothing more than past behavior of being a buck slave who once went from to plantation to plantation planting his seed for massa.  That slave serving mentality is STILL here.  Cuz brothas don't feel a social obligation when they WIPE their boots on females in their culture.  They have no moral compass to determine when boundaries have been crossed  and so it is easy for them to collect women and belt marker their conquests-which to them defines their manhood.  Strange thing is?  This behavior is historical in our culture as SLAVES and not ONE time did massa ever call the black buck a man...he continued to call him a BOY his whole life. And used that term to describe black men for years.   So I have come to the conclusion that "boy" is the DNA that is LOCKED deep in the minds of many of our black males preventing them from evolving in their own TRUTH of manhood.  If not, why is it sooooo hard for them to see their race WHOLE instead of in fragments?  Only children do that.  Cuz this social detachment between many black men and women is an unnatural behavioral pattern from slavery.  So the question is:..what the hell are we gon do about it? But!.    

Last edited by Kocolicious
Originally Posted by Kocolicious:

Brotha RR wrote:  + He is immature, yet hand selected by that woman...says a lot about her doesn't it?

 

  No one is SAYING that this type of [young] black woman isn't mature with the lack of ability to select men wisely.  

 

+ We agree...but blames seems to be sent 1000% in the direction of the Black man

 

 

Hell...both parties are immature.  But that doesn't change the fact there is a twisted mentality that says both are cruising on each other without even THINKING about the consequences of that "cruising" behavior  which most times will bring forth a child....so what then?  

 

+Agreed, but when will Black women start making better choices?  As I stated once before, there were many Black women at my college that regularly visited men in prison.  These women are single mothers now.  That college was Georgetown University, one of the premier colleges in the country.  Sadly, as I have spoken with many other Black people from many other colleges across this country, they report the exact same thing.  

 

Does the black male have a RIGHT to pass judgment as a way out to do nothing at all?  Look....just cuz a woman's failure to identify the best type of man for her doesn't mean that she has to sit on that mistake by herself and the male who made it with her is awarded a get outta jail card.  The male doesn't get off scotch free from the responsibility of his behavior simply because the woman should have known he was a creep.  That's ridicule my brotha...come on.  

In life there are gonna be social relationship mistakes on both sides of the pancake.  The difference?  The man can ALWAYS walk away and pretend the mistake NEVER happened.  The woman? Welll...she has to come to terms to the options she may have to take if she discovers she's pregnant. But!

 

+Men dont get away free...they have to paid wage garnishments through the court or they face jail for a child he may not have wanted....women on the other hand can simply walk up to a police/firestation or a hospital and give her baby to the state with not backlash or any questions asked.  If she decides to keep her kids she can get welfare, WIC, and Section 8...men can't.  If you dont believe me...there was a major motion picture about a true life story of a man that had to sleep in train stations and homeless shelters with his son because he was not eligible for public aid (pursuit of happyness)

 

 

Really. Like let's talk "shop." eh?  This behavior of the male walking away without CONSCIOUS of the consequences is nothing more than past behavior of being a buck slave who once went from to plantation to plantation planting his seed for massa.  That slave serving mentality is STILL here.  Cuz brothas don't feel a social obligation when they WIPE their boots on females in their culture.  They have no moral compass to determine when boundaries have been crossed  and so it is easy for them to collect women and belt marker their conquests-which to them defines their manhood.  Strange thing is?  This behavior is historical in our culture as SLAVES and not ONE time did massa ever call the black buck a man...he continued to call him a BOY his whole life. And used that term to describe black men for years.   So I have come to the conclusion that "boy" is the DNA that is LOCKED deep in the minds of many of our black males preventing them from evolving in their own TRUTH of manhood.  If not, why is it sooooo hard for them to see their race WHOLE instead of in fragments?  Only children do that.  Cuz this social detachment between many black men and women is an unnatural behavioral pattern from slavery.  So the question is:..what the hell are we gon do about it? But!.    

 

+I understand the slavery reference, but it does not explain the prior to Urban welfare programs Blacks in the post slavery era had Black businesses and a strong work ethic.  Public aid, like I mention before, that insisted that a man NOT be present in order to receive aid.  This added to the breakdown of the Black family and the current conditions that we have today.  

 

As far as what we can do about it, we can distance our selves from the nonsense and rear a new generation of black kids that are on the right path.  Welfare/public assistance is currently being reduced across this nation...they just recent cut money from people who were unemployed and looking for work.  Each one, teach one

 

Originally Posted by EarthAndSky:
Originally Posted by RadioRaheem:

 

Okay. Now you are just throwing up obstacles. Not all organizations that help children are filled with or run by pedophiles! 

 

Problem: Single women raising sons without a good black male role model anywhere around

 

Solution: Mentoring programs

 

You can't complain about single women raising sons while at the same time discard anything that would help them out. Many agencies do screen or run background checks on volunteers. Yes, they might not catch all of the bad guys but would you prefer to just sit at home complaining about single women raising sons or would you prefer to be a part of the solution? Have you considered mentoring a boy or two in your community? 

 

Be a part of the solution, not the problem!

 

 

 Exactly!

 

 

Brotha RR wrote: 

+I understand the slavery reference, but it does not explain the prior to Urban welfare programs Blacks in the post slavery era had Black businesses and a strong work ethic.  Public aid, like I mention before, that insisted that a man NOT be present in order to receive aid.  This added to the breakdown of the Black family and the current conditions that we have today.  

 

 I TOTALLY agree with you my brotha.  Absoutely.  But we haven't got this far in the game with our EYES closed to what's going on.  We know that massa will USE whatever game available to sabotage our progress.  We know this right?  But still we seem to fall for it....every time where it interfers with how we commuicate with each other on personal responsibility. Other cultures take the "hero" path and say to themselves "our community will EMBRACE everyone...so no one will be left out male or female."  But us?  Nawl.  We say to each other:  "that's NOT my responsibility or problem."  And it is this "slavery" attitude that has caused us to be far back instead largely ahead of the game as we SHOULD BE but isn't even though we LED the way for others in this country.  We HAVE to ACKNOWLEDGE this HUGE mistake in our culture. Otherwise we are gonna continue to be STUCK on stupid, unproductivity and PROGRESS.  Just let that GO!!!!!! So we can MOVE ON.  Cuz we really NEED to.  

 

As far as what we can do about it, we can distance our selves from the nonsense and rear a new generation of black kids that are on the right path.  Welfare/public assistance is currently being reduced across this nation...they just recent cut money from people who were unemployed and looking for work.  Each one, teach one

 

I totally agree with you again.  At first maybe we need assistance to get our barrings but we have the ability to help ourselves without any lip from massa and his boys...but!  So far that hasn't been the scenrio cuz a lot of us don't FEEL it's our RESPONSIBILITY to help our OWN people.  Instead we take the route of judgment and blame.  We have to let that GO too if we are gonna be on our way to reinvention of who we are.  We just can't afford to keep living and behaving in the past.  And that is exactly what is happening now.  No?  But! 

Originally Posted by sunnubian:
Originally Posted by RadioRaheem:
 

it is not the responsibility of the next man to fix the last dudes situation...those guys are called Simps.  It is her responsibility to date up in the first place.  

 

So, the veil has been pulled back to reveal the hidden agenda behind all of this Black-woman, Black "single-mother" hating rhetoric.

 

Not enough African American men are making/seeing a big enough difference between women who are single mothers and women who aren't.

 

Not enough African American men possess the social inhibitions needed for their dating and marrying habits to be controlled by anything or anyone outside themselves, therefore, the western/American propaganda machine is using the media/social media/etc., to socially engineer/condition it [or more of it] into them.   

 

Yeah, the more Black men they can get to hate and despise their own women, the more it keeps the Black population down and increases friction, betrayal and contempt in the Black race.  

Originally Posted by sunnubian:
Originally Posted by RadioRaheem:
 

it is not the responsibility of the next man to fix the last dudes situation...those guys are called Simps.  It is her responsibility to date up in the first place.  

 

So, the veil has been pulled back to reveal the hidden agenda behind all of this Black-woman, Black "single-mother" hating rhetoric.

 

Not enough African American men are making/seeing a big enough difference between women who are single mothers and women who aren't.

 

Not enough African American men possess the social inhibitions needed for their dating and marrying habits to be controlled by anything or anyone outside themselves, therefore, the western/American propaganda machine is using the media/social media/etc., to socially engineer/condition it [or more of it] into them.   

 

Yeah, the more Black men they can get to hate and despise their own women, the more it keeps the Black population down and increases friction, betrayal and contempt in the Black race.  

+ Sounds like you are trying to provide an emotional answer to a logical problem.  Consider this: imagine a college educated, professional Sista devoted a great deal of time dating street thugs and later became pregnat by one.  Should a college educated, professional Brotha with no children date/marry her so they can build a strong Black nation??  Shouldn't she start off searching for a good man and not deliberately choosing a street hustler?  Does she have any responsibility over her dating choices? (no emotional answers to these questions PLEASE!!...if you are having trouble doing so, imagine that the Brother in that story was your son and you wanted the best for him)

 

The types of single women raising children alone...

 

1. Widowed women

2. Divorced women

3. Women with husbands who have serious medical disorders that prevent them from properly raising a child (this includes military personnel who sustained serious brain trauma)

4. Women who are raising a relative's children (e.g. Grandma raising her grandchildren or auntie raising her nieces and nephews)

5. Single women who adopted children

6. Women who became pregnant by losers

 

{Edited because I forgot one}

 

7. Women whose husbands are incarcerated.

 

Let's not throw all of these women under the bus. Please keep things in perspective.

Last edited by EarthAndSky
Originally Posted by RadioRaheem:
Originally Posted by EarthAndSky:
Originally Posted by RadioRaheem:
 

 

 

+ He is immature, yet hand selected by that woman...says a lot about her doesn't it?

 

The assumption being made here is that every black woman who dated a loser knew that she was dating a loser at the outset. That is a FALSE assumption. When it comes to dating men, black women are no different than any other woman, regardless of race. Women, of all races, have unknowingly picked the wrong guy to date at some point. But somehow only black women are stigmatized. Some male losers are very crafty and charming. They know how to hide their true loser selves until, for the woman, it's too late.

 

A man who would seek out a woman with the sole intent (by using charm to trick and seduce her) to have unprotected sex with her (knowing full well that she could get pregnant) is a predator. He is operating on a beast-like level. I say that says a lot about him.

 

Last edited by EarthAndSky
Originally Posted by RadioRaheem:
Originally Posted by Kocolicious:

 

 

+Agreed, but when will Black women start making better choices?  As I stated once before, there were many Black women at my college that regularly visited men in prison.  These women are single mothers now.  That college was Georgetown University, one of the premier colleges in the country.  Sadly, as I have spoken with many other Black people from many other colleges across this country, they report the exact same thing.  

 

 

 

Seriously? At which colleges, besides the one you mentioned, is this happening? The reason I am asking is that I am college educated and never heard of this. I certainly didn't consider 'dating' a prisoner while in college. Furthest thing from my mind. I don't know of ANY former and current female college students who is or has 'dated' men in prison. Just the mere idea of 'dating' a prisoner: .

 

This is to not to say this isn't going on but I would like to see some real statistics, broken down by race. I am aware of crazy white women who 'date' serial murderers in prison, the more psycho the murderer, the more they want to date them. It was a topic on one of those news magazine shows (20/20?) awhile ago.

 

Here is an article written by a white woman who 'dated' a prisoner.

Love Behind Bars

 

Brotha RR wrote:  If you dont believe me...there was a major motion picture about a true life story of a man that had to sleep in train stations and homeless shelters with his son because he was not eligible for public aid (pursuit of happyness)

 

 

  My brotha you KNOW that was a movie.  How many brothers have their sons or daughters with them for that matter?  In fact, how many brothers have their children with them and cannot get assistance soooooo they sleep on buses, trains and under freeways?    How many?  The ONLY time and I mean the ONLY time you will HEAR or witness such a STORY?  Is in the movies.  Cuz in reality?  If that man needed shelter with his minor son....there isn't an agency in this country that would have told him no.  Except?  Of course in the movies.   [psssst this issue is getting kinda heated...So I think maybe one of your awesome music videos(on your famous thread) are in order just to cool things down a bit]   But!

Last edited by Kocolicious
Originally Posted by RadioRaheem:
Originally Posted by sunnubian:
Originally Posted by RadioRaheem:
 

it is not the responsibility of the next man to fix the last dudes situation...those guys are called Simps.  It is her responsibility to date up in the first place.  

 

So, the veil has been pulled back to reveal the hidden agenda behind all of this Black-woman, Black "single-mother" hating rhetoric.

 

Not enough African American men are making/seeing a big enough difference between women who are single mothers and women who aren't.

 

Not enough African American men possess the social inhibitions needed for their dating and marrying habits to be controlled by anything or anyone outside themselves, therefore, the western/American propaganda machine is using the media/social media/etc., to socially engineer/condition it [or more of it] into them.   

 

Yeah, the more Black men they can get to hate and despise their own women, the more it keeps the Black population down and increases friction, betrayal and contempt in the Black race.  

+ Sounds like you are trying to provide an emotional answer to a logical problem.  Consider this: imagine a college educated, professional Sista devoted a great deal of time dating street thugs and later became pregnat by one.  Should a college educated, professional Brotha with no children date/marry her so they can build a strong Black nation??  Shouldn't she start off searching for a good man and not deliberately choosing a street hustler?  Does she have any responsibility over her dating choices? (no emotional answers to these questions PLEASE!!...if you are having trouble doing so, imagine that the Brother in that story was your son and you wanted the best for him)

 

 

I under stand your general premise, but what you are failing to take into consideration is the fact that men don't have to be street thugs to be deadbeat dads and/or womanizing men to begin with.

 

There are plenty of 'street thugs' out there that are very good dads and do support their children financially and there are just as many men out there that are not 'street thugs' that do not support their children, don't spend time with their children and don't financially support their children.

 

It also is not only 'street thugs' that are womanizers, or that hid their true selves from the women in their lives until it is often too late, or until After they have been in a relationship for a while, or After they have walked down that isle, or After she has had is child(ren) or After she has invested[or wasted] years of her life in a relationship with him.

 

Most women Do "start off searching for a good man" and it is not always the woman's fault that she could not see the true self he was hiding.  Hell, there are men who have hid a whole other family he has from women in their life for years, decades, let alone a woman on the side or an outside child.  It is more often how well a man is able to deceive rather than a woman not "starting off searching for a good man".  

  

This is a prime example of why I have such a problem with stereotyping people, half or most of the ones that actually do belong in such a 'box' get a free pass because everyone is so busy with trying to force only the other half of the group in such a 'box'.  

 

 

Originally Posted by EarthAndSky:

The types of single women raising children alone...

 

1. Widowed women

2. Divorced women

3. Women with husbands who have serious medical disorders that prevent them from properly raising a child (this includes military personnel who sustained serious brain trauma)

4. Women who are raising a relative's children (e.g. Grandma raising her grandchildren or auntie raising her nieces and nephews)

5. Single women who adopted children

6. Women who became pregnant by losers

 

{Edited because I forgot one}

 

7. Women whose husbands are incarcerated.

 

Let's not throw all of these women under the bus. Please keep things in perspective.

+ but most black women are never married single mothers

Originally Posted by Kocolicious:

Brotha RR wrote:  If you dont believe me...there was a major motion picture about a true life story of a man that had to sleep in train stations and homeless shelters with his son because he was not eligible for public aid (pursuit of happyness)

 

 

  My brotha you KNOW that was a movie.  How many brothers have their sons or daughters with them for that matter?  In fact, how many brothers have their children with them and cannot get assistance soooooo they sleep on buses, trains and under freeways?    How many?  The ONLY time and I mean the ONLY time you will HEAR or witness such a STORY?  Is in the movies.  Cuz in reality?  If that man needed shelter with his minor son....there isn't an agency in this country that would have told him no.  Except?  Of course in the movies.   [psssst this issue is getting kinda heated...So I think maybe one of your awesome music videos(on your famous thread) are in order just to cool things down a bit]   But!

The Pursuit of Happyness is a 2006 American biographical drama film based on Chris Gardner's nearly one-year struggle with homelessness. Directed by Gabriele Muccino, the film features Will Smithas Gardner, an on-and-off-homeless salesman. Smith's son Jaden Smith co-stars, making his film debut as Gardner's son, Christopher Jr.

The screenplay by Steven Conrad is based on the best-selling memoir written by Gardner with Quincy Troupe.

 

 

My point is that the single dad receives little to no help from the State or society in general...on the flipside, women get the chance to enter into a multi-generational 'family' structure that is completely publicly funded. i.e. ghetto housing, food stamps, education, WIC vochers, etc.  Single dads dont have that available to them.  

Last edited by RadioRaheem
Originally Posted by sunnubian:
Originally Posted by RadioRaheem:
Originally Posted by sunnubian:
Originally Posted by RadioRaheem:
 

it is not the responsibility of the next man to fix the last dudes situation...those guys are called Simps.  It is her responsibility to date up in the first place.  

 

So, the veil has been pulled back to reveal the hidden agenda behind all of this Black-woman, Black "single-mother" hating rhetoric.

 

Not enough African American men are making/seeing a big enough difference between women who are single mothers and women who aren't.

 

Not enough African American men possess the social inhibitions needed for their dating and marrying habits to be controlled by anything or anyone outside themselves, therefore, the western/American propaganda machine is using the media/social media/etc., to socially engineer/condition it [or more of it] into them.   

 

Yeah, the more Black men they can get to hate and despise their own women, the more it keeps the Black population down and increases friction, betrayal and contempt in the Black race.  

+ Sounds like you are trying to provide an emotional answer to a logical problem.  Consider this: imagine a college educated, professional Sista devoted a great deal of time dating street thugs and later became pregnat by one.  Should a college educated, professional Brotha with no children date/marry her so they can build a strong Black nation??  Shouldn't she start off searching for a good man and not deliberately choosing a street hustler?  Does she have any responsibility over her dating choices? (no emotional answers to these questions PLEASE!!...if you are having trouble doing so, imagine that the Brother in that story was your son and you wanted the best for him)

 

 

I under stand your general premise, but what you are failing to take into consideration is the fact that men don't have to be street thugs to be deadbeat dads and/or womanizing men to begin with.

 

There are plenty of 'street thugs' out there that are very good dads and do support their children financially and there are just as many men out there that are not 'street thugs' that do not support their children, don't spend time with their children and don't financially support their children.

 

It also is not only 'street thugs' that are womanizers, or that hid their true selves from the women in their lives until it is often too late, or until After they have been in a relationship for a while, or After they have walked down that isle, or After she has had is child(ren) or After she has invested[or wasted] years of her life in a relationship with him.

 

Most women Do "start off searching for a good man" and it is not always the woman's fault that she could not see the true self he was hiding.  Hell, there are men who have hid a whole other family he has from women in their life for years, decades, let alone a woman on the side or an outside child.  It is more often how well a man is able to deceive rather than a woman not "starting off searching for a good man".  

  

This is a prime example of why I have such a problem with stereotyping people, half or most of the ones that actually do belong in such a 'box' get a free pass because everyone is so busy with trying to force only the other half of the group in such a 'box'.  

 

 

+ I do not like stereotyping either...that's why I structured my point based on what the women did and not where they were from or anything else.  We need not be defined by the ghetto decisions from people of our community.  

 

I'll have to disagree with your point about women not starting off looking for street dudes....it's simply untrue.  Please take a poll of several Professional Blk men in your area/family and get their stories.  As I stated prior, I went to Georgetown Univ. and it was very commonplace for Black women to date the in and out of jail types and even setup their friends with inmates.  It's a preference (I can post links of similar stories, if you need them...just like I posted the Jail guards and their babies that they had with the inmates).  That's fine, because the decisions we make will set the blueprint for them later in life.  People are allowed to make their own choices and, in kind, I can state my opinion on those choices.  

 Penile cancer is on the rise!!  There was a time I'd never heard of brain cancer, that's rampant, and now it's penile cancer.  You fellas keep on pokin' and jokin', you won't have to be worried about being any kind of father, with half your member chopped off and languishing in some medical contraption in some laboratory somewhere.  Just grab a pocketbook and enjoy your remaining life as ONE OF THE GIRLS.  Keep on listening to folks telling you it's OK to poke it here, there, everywhere. Your family will be visiting your gravestone poking out of the ground.  The God that no one's ever seen, doesn't like UGLY!!!!

Brotha RR wrote:  
My point is that the single dad receives little to no help from the State or society in general...on the flipside, women get the chance to enter into a multi-generational 'family' structure that is completely publicly funded

 

  That isn't true my brotha.  If so, it is DIRECT discrimination.  Most welfare agencies focus primarily on what is BEST for children. I NEVER heard of any agency turning down a CHILD in poverty despite what gender the parents.  But!  I guess it can happen...but!  How often do you see this?  (1) male of household with minor children needing help and being refused and (2) an agency of welfare taking a discriminatory stance in regards to parent gender which directly prevented care for minor children.

If inmates can get public assistance and they COMMITTED crimes, I just can't buy a department designed to help children didn't do so based on the fact the child's parent requesting assistance is male.   But again...I guess it can happen.  But again...how often?   Yet I will give it to you in this instance that you are absolutely correct cuz apparently THIS did occur....but my thinking because it was a rarity a movie was created to tell the story.  Just saying.   And I'm not dismissing your point.  Not at all.  It is clear, concise and poignant nevertheless.  

 

However, there is a REASON why women are publicly FUNDED when they have minor children.  There are abandonment issues to be addressed regarding our community.  She didn't get pregnant alone.  And you can't have children homeless or starving in the streets of the most richest country in the world....so... what do you suggest?  Cuz it is definitely not the children's fault and the focus should be RIGHT there....on the children.  And not the parents.  Cuz spewing  blame will not accomplished anything...thus far it hasn't.  Many blackfolks go back and forth with this blame game and again the only folks to suffer are the children.  

 

But I got you my brotha.  I understand exactly where you are coming from.  And I have to listen cuz you are a man....and men know how other men think and behave.  But we need to understand why we as a culture keep repeating this revolving pattern.  We are NOT in slavery anymore.  And massa is NOT gonna continue to feed us and give us shelter[even though it is also OUR taxes money funding this assistance].  We can no longer scream  about the 4 acres and a mule either.  We MUST have accountability for OWN behavior and destiny for our people.  It is time.  No?  But!.  

Just a slight correction:

 

"Massa" did not feed and shelter slaves, the slaves fed and sheltered themselves.  

 

Slaves had to grow the food and had to build their own shelter; slaves being rationed out crumbs from the very food they worked to grow in the first place is not 'giving' them anything.  

 

Massa didn't do jack for hold them hostage against their will and profit from his terrorism.

 

 

Last edited by sunnubian

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