Tagged With "increase in loan denials for parents"

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Re: FINALLY SOME GOOD ADVICE!!! -How To Get A Man In Four Weeks Or Less - If You Want One

detroit1 ·
I'm sick and tired of hearing black women dog out their ex-boyfriends who were worthless, unemployed crack-heads totally ignoring the fact that he was in that same position when she "chose" to be involved with him. Ain't nobody tell her to find her man in the alley......then take him home, feed him, cloth him and buy him a playstation. These same women will also defend their bum-ass boyfriends if you say something bad about him; then turn around and hate on brothas who have themselves...
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Re: FINALLY SOME GOOD ADVICE!!! -How To Get A Man In Four Weeks Or Less - If You Want One

Frenchy ·
Well, just accept that Black women will not change and therefore Black men need to take responsibility for that and change to accomodate that. If Black men did not date these women who were Stuck On Stupid amd clueless, they would not be that way. They should not be expected to do those things of their own free will. Pre-1970, Black men did not seek out and put up with women who were clueless or unappreciative of their achievements. Sure Black women could chose to act responsibly and/or...
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Re: FINALLY SOME GOOD ADVICE!!! -How To Get A Man In Four Weeks Or Less - If You Want One

Rowe ·
I agree. So why can't we "be real" about Black men's situation in this country? When African-American women talk about how this state of affairs is impacting their lives, why can't you all respectfully acknowledge what you are hearing and reading? Whenever an African-American woman tells people about how the deterioration of her community is impacting her future, all she gets are expressions of disbelief and denial, followed by a list of general dating tips. Well Black women are not apart of...
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Re: FINALLY SOME GOOD ADVICE!!! -How To Get A Man In Four Weeks Or Less - If You Want One

RadioRaheem ·
* I have no problems with reality {I actually prefer it to the self-boosting misinformation often floating about the Black community}, so long as those women acknowledge that they chose to date those guys all by themselves [cherry picked]. It was her choice to date/pursue Joe Thug and Ray-ray and thus it was her 'fault' when they let her down. If you sleep with dogs, you just might wake up with fleas and puppies!!! She also can't blame 'sane' black men that didn't appeal to her 'Ray-Ray'...
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Re: FINALLY SOME GOOD ADVICE!!! -How To Get A Man In Four Weeks Or Less - If You Want One

RadioRaheem ·
I think other races [of women] do experiences it, but they seem to grow out of it[i.e. white women pursuing biker type guys, asian and hispanic women seeking out gangmembers, etc]. For Black women, I think, their problem stems from their decisions to have children with bad boy/thug. A choice which has a much longer attachment [a co-parent] than a lady saying 'when I was younger, I use to date gangmembers]. Choices..choices. Too many younger black women seem to operate from the stand point...
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Re: How to Date A Single Dad

MidLifeMan ·
Not really. Having dated women with children and known them I think it is wise for a person to keep the parenting and relationship separate until it is clear that the relationship will be for the long haul. The main concern is for the child. If the single parent continues to introduce people to the child as a "potential" parent and the relationship ends as they can and do, it could have an impact on the child. And I personally don't have respect for a woman that would place a stranger above...
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Re: How to Date A Single Dad

Frenchy ·
Don't most people know that after a few months? I certainly do. Unless you mean to say that you should wait to until you are on the verge of getting married to this person before you introduce them to your child(ren). Which I don't agree with. What I am saying is that if you are going to seriously date this woman (and maybe eventually marry her), she needs to be just as important. You can't continuously give your relationship the shaft and expect it to be healthy. And you certainly shouldn't...
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Re: How to Date A Single Dad

Black Viking ·
I'm in total agreement with that point. It would seem silly to allow your child to show less respect to your date than you would allow them to show to a stranger.
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Re: How to Date A Single Dad

Frenchy ·
Black Viking , wouldn't you want your children's input before you got engaged or too entangled in a relationship? IME, it's much more difficult for a child to think of their parent as single or casually dating and then BAM! all of a sudden they introduce you to their fiance. A child would think "Holy shit! Now I'm forced to like this woman. And why doesn't my dad even care what I think of her or what she thinks of me??" So, no kids of the first date but definitely before the proposal. That's...
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Re: How to Date A Single Dad

Sandye ·
The article makes several good points, however, I think it sugarcoats the "baby mama/daddy drama" that affects many of these types of relationships. When a couple have a child, there is an eternal connection. Even though they no longer wish to have a relationship with the other parent, they play vicious games and can cause great pain perhaps because they are still going through the pain of their separation/divorce. Some biological parents won't speak to the step-parent for any reason and are...
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Re: Negroes who defend the status quo once they've "gotten theirs"

Empty Purnata ·
CF, stop pretending that you "care". You aren't concerned that we are "placing an ideology above our own concerns", you are upset that that ideology is not Capitalism. If we were 100% Capitalists, you would have no problem. If we placed Capitalism above our own concerns, you wouldn't care. You are just upset that we are not Capitalists (well, at least I'm not, I'm not sure if MBM is a Capitalist or a Socialist he comes off as a Socialized Capitalist to me). I can get along just fine with...
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Re: How to Date A Single Dad

FireFly ·
I like children, but, for the reasons above - and many others - I avoid ever dating any man with children under 21, and preferably with none at all. So far, I've been lucky. [insert relieved face icon here] I never say never, but it's as close to never as it's possible to get.
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Re: How to Date A Single Dad

MidLifeMan ·
She's not to young to understand relationships. Someone just needs to have a talk with her and understand that it's not easy for the child. I don't know if most people know that the relationship is leading to marriage after only a few months. But I would think that the two people should have at least established if the relationship is exclusive. Once they reach that point then the child can start to be introduced to the other person. But I still think it should be in small doses. If and when...
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Re: Are You a Racist?

Black Viking ·
I only have one problem with this. By my understanding, racism is simply a specific form of prejudice. At its core, its no different than classism or sexism. The question is "What is the bias?" not "Is there a bias?" For a person to say they are not racist, they are saying that they are not prejudice, that they do not pre-judge. But, as she said, we all do that. Prejudice is one of the ways we quantify our suroundings with the small amount of information given in a short amount of time. I...
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Re: How to Date A Single Dad

xxGAMBITxx ·
Speaking as one of these single dads (as in actually RAISING my kid), I gotta give some props to the article. But it does come off as leaning toward the idea that the man is the non-custodial parent. What if he's a full time daddy? Dealing with the issues of the kids being in the picture just about 24/7? Just my thoughts..........
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Re: The Bridge: Black Men & White Women (article)

MidLifeMan ·
Like I said, in an ideal world or maybe a fairytale land race wouldn't be an issue. But in the context of the "real world" and this country it has been, and probably will be for a long time. So love/empathy/trust/loyalty is relevant and I didn't say or imply that they are not, I never said anyone was deficient and like I said, whatever floats another man's boat so I'm not "dictating "anything to anyone. And all of the talk about "love should only matter" is, as I said, great in an ideal...
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Re: Question for Kresge?

Rowe ·
The following passages are excerpts taken from author Rosemary Radford Ruether's, Sexism and Godtalk: Toward A Feminist Theology . Woman, Body, and Nature: Sexism and the Theology of Creation 1) "The establishment of this relationship between male and female spheres depends not only on males as definers of culture but also on the burdening of women with most of the tedious, day-to-day tasks of economic production. Males become a leisure class with relatively little to do but decorate...
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Re: Racism Out Of "Racism-Deniers"

Nmaginate ·
Intuitively, if not consciously, each and every Denier/Minimizer knows. For White Deniers/Minimizers, they know they benefit from continued racism/WHITE SUPREMACY. The way some act, they are addicted to, if not dependent on the idea. The very notion itself, the very idea of White Denial is racist in and of itself. It is an attempt to install WHITE SUPREMACY. Not only are Black people lazy, in their eyes, but Black people, for some reason, seem to want to believe Their Lying Eyes over what...
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Re: Racism Out Of "Racism-Deniers"

Sweetwuzzy ·
Yup. All the time. Racism is such a dirty word, and unlike the past, it is taboo to be openly racist, so racist must pretend that they are not racist and that racism does not exist.
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Re: Racism Out Of "Racism-Deniers"

James Wesley Chester ·
Anyone else see how denial of racism is just a thinly-veiled attempt to perpetuate it?Empty Purnata Of course, it is. And...they know it. It's the way the game is played. There is no problem...until there is a problem. Then it's 'one of those things' that happen. Nothing to be concern. Aren't you and I friends??? There is no problem and there won't be a problem as long you understand there is no problem. Right? And...there won't be a problem if you don't begin to think you should be treated...
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Re: father claims rights denied

sunnubian ·
Yea, he's not telling the whole truth. During most child support/custody hearings ample time is alloted the non-custodial parent to spend with his/her kids; and oh, about how child support took his entire disability check, by law disability cannot be garnished for the purpose of child support . . .
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Re: Plane Hits Building...

Isome ·
It doesn't mean they didn't either. And, just as with the TWA Flight 800 explosion, an errant or intentional missile has been suggested repeatedly, and government agencies and sources all provided evidence they believed bolstered their denial. Very similar indeed.
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Re: Kola Boof Speaks: Race & Beauty In America

Rowe ·
Sister Marimba Ani (1994), speaking on the collective hypocrisy exhibited by Europeans in Chapter one of her book Yurugu: An African-Centered Critique of European Thought and Behavior believes hypocrisy is a "way of life" for Europeans. She would undoubtedly agree with the explanations you and Brother Nayo have provided. Hypocrisy as a Way of Life Marimba Ani Within the nature of European culture there exists a statement of value or of "moral" behavior that has no meaning for the members of...
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Re: I finally found the Black women's reply to the "Where is the love?'" from Tampa

HonestBrother ·
Rowe, You are VERY correct here. No one gave any criteria . But if you noticed I did try to tease her (Frenchy's) criteria out of her. Maybe I did a poor job. But I would have loved to know her criteria. What I found most interesting is that NO ONE - except Art Gurl - denied the criteria I was perhaps falsely imputing. That's what I was waiting for. A plausible denial. Frenchy went so far as to explicitly state that ALL the examples I gave were beneath her - I was a little shocked actually.
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Re: I finally found the Black women's reply to the "Where is the love?'" from Tampa

HonestBrother ·
It's not too late for a denial ya know... Embarrassed that there are brilliant and ambitious young black men (artists, writers, scholars, etc.) that none of you sistas saw fit to step up to the plate and claim as your own when I dangled that out as a possibility... That's BS????
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Re: I finally found the Black women's reply to the "Where is the love?'" from Tampa

HonestBrother ·
I also want to be clear that many of the examples I put out are people with ADVANCED degrees who are making serious contributions to the world but who might make $40,000-$90,000 versus $100,000-$150,000/yr - and some of them ARE Doctors but not MDs. It's just that these people deal in the world of ideas/knowledge and don't have monetary gain or more conventional types of prestige/status as a motivator. I was deliberately trying to gauge the female response to a group of very educated and...
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Re: father claims rights denied

MidLifeMan ·
And this means that the other parent "complies" with the court order? Just becasue the court says the father has rights to see the child doesn't mean the mother complies no more then when the court orders the father to pay child support that he complies. And it can get expensive taking someone to court all the time to fight for you rights. Any why is that? I'm sure most may say it is not the norm but I watch my brother in law get f*cked by the courts. And he DID provide ALL of the childrens...
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Re: father claims rights denied

bigddouble ·
The problem is that there is no accountability for the money paid via child support. The custodial parent does not have to prove they are using the garnishment exclusively for the care of the children. I think the custodial parent should have to produce receipts, verifying proper usage of the support payment. Additionally, anytime the custodial parent wants to request a change in custody status or support payments, you have to show up (with representation if you don't want to get screwed) or...
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Re: The Elephant in the Room While Black Kids Misbehave? Single Parent Homes

sunnubian ·
-------------------------------------- Funny how this Elephant ONLY sits in the room of single 'Black' mothers -- nobody else, no other single mothers/parents -- more 'chug and plug' psychology. What is also not being said here is the fact that children from two parent households are viewed differently and treated differently and disciplined differently and less often in the majority of cases involving school discipline/infractions, etc., while there is a different (unwritten) set of rules...
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Re: The Elephant in the Room While Black Kids Misbehave? Single Parent Homes

Yemaya ·
I'm going to add something else, I know many single parents of various races whose children are more well behaved than some of the children with two parent families and get better grades. Which begs the question, why?? I reality, it has nothing to do with the amount of parents in the home, but the quality of parent and parenting in the home.
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Re: father claims rights denied

sunnubian ·
_________________________________________________________________________ Often this may be the case when there has been a long marriage and an agreement for the wife to be a stay at home mom, etc., the court takes into consideration the number of years the wife could have been either educating herself and/or working, but instead stayed at home and maintained the household and raised the children while the husband worked and establish an avenue of independent livelihood outside the home.
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Re: father claims rights denied

sunnubian ·
[QUOTE]Originally posted by Nikcara: "Good fathers get truly screwed because they want their kids but the mothers use the children as pawn for money. It is totally discretionary for the mother." -------------------------------------------- This is not a totally true statement, though I am sure, no I know that there are some mothers out there like that, but usually, court ordered childsupport has a formula for computing childsupport, which takes into consideration both parents incomes which...
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Re: The Elephant in the Room While Black Kids Misbehave? Single Parent Homes

sunnubian ·
___________________________________________ If there were not a bias against single parents and children that came from single parent homes, the irrevelant statement about 'single parent homes' would never have beens made in the first place. In fact, the fact that children's parent's marital status is so sought after in nearly every school form, etc., in the first place, is flaming evidence of pre-categorizing chidren in the onset in most public schools.
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Re: The Elephant in the Room While Black Kids Misbehave? Single Parent Homes

Frenchy ·
I don't see how he reaches his conclusion. Children in two-parent homes are certainly at an advantage in a variety of ways. The breakdown of some "traditional" values and embracing of destructive behavior is definitely causing our children harm. AND there are plenty of teachers and administrators out there who are racists and punish Black children to a much harsher degree than white students. Those things are not mutually exclusive.
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Re: The Elephant in the Room While Black Kids Misbehave? Single Parent Homes

Guest ·
Maybe the PRIMARY CONCERN OF HIS IS BLACK PEOPLE AND THUS HE DOES NOT NEED TO TALK ABOUT WHITE FOLKS!!!!! Why must Black people reference White folks as guidance on what we should be doing? Is it possible for us to have certain policies and standards that are free and clear of them? I am a parent. I have associates and family members who are either single parents or teenaged parents. It is hard for me and my wife to raise our children. I can only empathize with the burden that single parents...
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Re: The Elephant in the Room While Black Kids Misbehave? Single Parent Homes

Nmaginate ·
I'll repeat it one more time, CON-Feed, then I'll ask for your response: ************************************************************************** Investigations of behavior, race, and discipline have yet to provide evidence that African American students misbehave at a significantly higher rate. Studies have failed to find racial disparities in misbehavior sufficient to account for the typically wide racial differences in school punishment.
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Re: The Elephant in the Room While Black Kids Misbehave? Single Parent Homes

MBM ·
As a parent of two young school age boys I have seen this phenomenon first hand. Little white boys can swing from the ceiling and they are "cute". Let a little black boy do anything - exibiting energy and vibrance outside a very narrow prescribed box of behavior - and it's a problem. The elephant in the room is white racism against black children. Black kids never get the benefit of the doubt that white teachers would want for their own kids (hence they generously shovel it out for other...
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Re: The Elephant in the Room While Black Kids Misbehave? Single Parent Homes

Yemaya ·
I didn't say that there wasn't bias against single parents. Please quote the line immediately following which states: "Unfortunately, there are teachers and administrators who are biased against black children and boys, especially." I don't have a problem with what you're saying Sunnubian, but please respectfully don't misquote me and attempt to take my comments out of context. I am the single parent of two black boys myself and I know the daily grinding that I have to do with my sons'...
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Re: The Elephant in the Room While Black Kids Misbehave? Single Parent Homes

sunnubian ·
--------------------------------------------- I wasn't disagreeing with you, I was really agreeing. I guess I assume 'the you is understood' as the discussion progresses and forget that written communication does not always come across the same as face to conversation, but anyway, I should have posted it like this maybe: And besides, or Also, etc., if there were not a bias against single parents and children that came from single parent homes, the irrevelant statement about 'single parent...
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Re: father claims rights denied

Nikcara ·
By Sunnubian I am not sure where you practice law, but in NJ, child support is calculated based on both incomes, thereafter, the non-custodial parent, pays in cash or check directly to the cusotidal parent or to the child support office[in NJ it is called the Probation Department], who converts the cash into a check that is either deposited directly into the custodial parent's account or mailed to him or her. The Custodial Parent has the discretion to spend the money as he or she see fit.
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Re: father claims rights denied

sunnubian ·
"I am not sure where you practice law, but in NJ, child support is calculated based on both incomes," ----------------------------------------------- I could have sworn that I stated that, but anyway, since that is how it is caculated, how can it be unfair to either party, especially to him or whichever parent does not actually have the children? -------------------------------------------- "thereafter, the non-custodial parent, pays in cash or check directly to the cusotidal parent or to...
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Re: The Elephant in the Room While Black Kids Misbehave? Single Parent Homes

Nmaginate ·
And this is coming from Mr. "The Asians" himself. Funny how it's cool to reference things when your references can be used to disparage, huh PUNK-Feed? And, lo & behold... Mr. Phillips (aka Waymon Tinsdale III) also just happened to mention Asian-Americans yet we don't hear a damn thing coming out of PUKE-Feed's mouth whining about referencing or comparing African-Americans to Asian-Americans... Hmmm.... Always IN DEFERENCE, huh PUNK-Feed? ... I mean 'WHITE BOY'?
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Re: Larry Elder: blacks and republicans

Nmaginate ·
Elder is high, drunk, pimp-slapped, etc. because of the disconnect. He knows the rule. Politics is all about "What Have You Done For Me Lately." What the hell is he talking about the history? Like there is a BETTER WHITE MAN or something? Silly BASTARD!! Last time, at The Barbershop , this mf was thumbing his nose at history:Funny how he showed right awful disdain for history there and never even came close to casting that history in a positive light, let alone putting a hellified spin on...
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Re: What about dating single mums?

Frenchy ·
Why the "but?" Any of the women you listed could still be of good character. I think a lot of the apprehension is projection. You see a single women and immediately assume she is looking for a co-parent and judge it so.
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Re: Should God?

kresge ·
And these assertions are predicated on what? Can you say more about what you mean here? It could be interpreted as referring to intentionality, in which case there is not a disagreement with what I have presented. Take the analogy of a parent. They may always [i]intend[i] to do the best for their children, but this does not mean that they in fact accomplish this. They may make errors that need correction.
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Re: Props to our brother and Reverend Joseph Lowery...

Huey ·
Did you see Hannity and Colmes where that punk ass Sean Hannity started complaining about Rev. Lowery and President Carter clowning the Shrub? That Hannity is punk ass snitchin' Rush Limbaugh wannabe. Dancing around the race factor, completely in denial that racism still exists. He and Larry Elder should be dancing partners on the next season of "Dancing With The Stars." Deejay: Free chicken and watermelon for qualifying for the semifinals. Elder: Did he say FREE??? Stop, Hammer Time.
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Re: Freedom vs. Responsibility

Nmaginate ·
Very good piece. Thanks, HB! I thought these things were significant:Like I said: STRANGE DEMOCRACY I don't know about that "weakest section" stuff but I think I get the "Not only are whites kicking us/them; they are telling us/them how to react to being kicked" point.
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Re: are parents @ fault for this?

Black Viking ·
I had to vote yes, but I know it's not as simple as that. Rather than assigning blame, parents need to consider who is actually in a position to solve the problem. Parents can point fingers at anyone for there children's ills, and frequently do. I'm not saying that city, state, and even federal agencies shouldn't be involved in curtailing this activity, but they have to very careful about constricting the rights of consenting adults. The simpler and far more effective solution is to...
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Re: Life After Limbo

Melesi ·
I think that you are changing the definition halfway through the argument. My point was that the Catholic Church holds the teachings that it does out of principle. You and I do not agree with all the teachings or with all the principles. Very well. That still does not make those beliefs unprincipled. You have yours, the Roman Catholics have theirs. As for constructing ("concocting"? Your biases are showing again) a consistent and logical theological argument against condoms, sure, but the...
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Re: Are You a Racist?

Nmaginate ·
No, that's the dangerous line of unthinking... I don't know what kind of definition you're using but it's one hellafied one. And the semantics of RACISM vs. DISCRIMINATION is ridiculous. Saying "Everyone Discriminates" by equivocating the meaning of the word would be more plausible. Now, how is it that you maintain that "Everyone Is Racist"? Everyone subscribes to or practices #1? What about #2? How do you determine either? FYI, this is the working definition/distinction established in the...
 
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