quote:Originally posted by ZAKAR:
First of all my sympathies go out to you, and the family of the young lady that was murdered. I would never try to defend and animal. He should be done like most animals with rabies, put down, but thats just me.
think what we're seeking, is emotional compatibility, with 'some semblance of security'...and strong communication, friendship, good/sexual compatibility
what exactly does this mean , emotionaly compatibility, semblence of security and strong communications skills?
Brothers are not emotional enough? we cannot communicate effectively. and i dont know what you mean by semblemce of security.
I do know what you mean on the sexual end, and maybe thats why women are with so called no good men, these men realize a lot of women defines a mans worth by how well he performs in the bed.
If he has the tools and can drive her wild in the bedroom, she usually will accept anything else , because so often her emotions are tied to sex
A.) Emotional/interpersonal compatibility
Occurs when people find comfort and mutual understanding with another person.
For example, a quiet, reserved person may initially find a sociable person to be exciting. However, as time goes on they may find that the sociable person wants to talk more and participate with new people much more than the quiet person is comfortable with. These differences cause natural conflict but may be resolved as each person is seen as contributing something unique and special to the relationship (team). The sociable person can come to be seen as the spokesperson, while the quiet person can be valued as one who does more low-profile or hands-on types of work.
B.) By 'semblance of security', a persons' 'ability', and or skill, or drive to provide for their family's financial stability. This would include, having several skills and/or motivation to seek avenues to bring in [legal] income. ex. when my father was laid off from his job, when I was a child, he started his own 'maintanence' company, which did quite well, such that when his job wanted to re-hire him, he could turn them down, [actually, he took his old job, and hired others to keep his business going];another family member, when her husband became ill, took a job as a paralegal, and was able to keep the family going; once he recovered, their combined incomes, put the family back on top, so to speak.
C.) 'communication skills' - someone who can talk to me, not at me; whose nonverbal communication is compatible with mine/and or something that each party can learn relatively 'easily'; who does'nt shut down, when there is conflict; and who has an understanding of the 'pillow method' of interpersonal communication, ie. my point is valid, your point is valid, our points have their differing validity, compromise/negotiation;
D.) Sexual compatibility, while not the 'be all', and 'end all criteria of a relationship, IS important, and that includes, affection.