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Reply to "Would Black women choose, date, or marry a brother who perms or straightens his hair?"

quote:
Originally posted by Shango67:
At a recent gathering, I was chastised by several Black women for stating that I refused to consider / date / marry a sista who alters the texture of her hair. "If I wanted the aesthetics of a white woman, I would choose one."


Shango......

it is not that simplistic.....

if you are just looking at a certain type of Black Woman.....

The Dravidians in India...... The Aborigines in Australia all have naturally bone straight hair.....

Straight hair is not indigenous to only white women.....

However.......

I believe you are on point when you say alter the texture of their hair.... because in our experience here in America... black women have historically responded to their own sense of beauty through a Eurocentric prism.... admittedly or not.....


however.....

there is the notion of basic aesthetics.... wherein women also will alter their appearance.... just to try something new... out of curiosity or alter their appearance because they genuinely feel better in that light.......

women's decisions in this regard are varied and sometimes complex..... yet, the issue of low self-esteem resulting from our awful sojourn here will be reluctantly, if that, admitted by most women with a perm......

most don't see it this way.... simply because they don't want to face it..... or.... they are unaware how deep the self rejection resides...


quote:
[b]I was called all types of names. However, when I asked those same women if they would consider a brother who perms his hair, there was complete silence.


Of course.... who wants to primp and preen in the mirror with their man??? that's what girlfriends are for...

laugh


quote:
Why the contradiction? Why the hypocrisy? Why come the majority of sistas ignore the backward ass legacy of the hot comb? When will our women stand up and confront the pathology? And can we EVER have a honest discussion with Black women about this issue?

If this is a recycled issue on this board, then accept my apology in advance.
It's been discussed before... but.... its an issue that still has relevance I believe..... most of the women that I know who discuss this.... are women who are already natural.......


Peace,
Virtue
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