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Reply to "Ways Single Mothers Destroy their sons"

Originally Posted by Kocolicious:

  @Brotha RR:

 

As I always say to you young brotha....I'm not trying to CONVINCE you of anything.  I'm telling you what I KNOW.  Just cuz there are two parents in the same household doesn't mean the children are getting the best care.  I know two parent families where children are psychologically neglected and they feel abandoned...and BOTH parents are there...I also know two parent households where the children are MONSTERS with no form of guidance and directions or respect....and both parents are living under the same roof.  I also know the opposite where both parents are in the home and the children are thriving.  It depends on the PARENTS.  My children come from a two parent family but at the end of the day it was my sons decisions whether or not they chose to embrace their manhood.  Yes their father was there but there are other outside influence that shape children as well.  So it's not exclusive.  Jeffrey Dahmer came from a two parent household(I know he's white-stay with me here) but he ended up being a MURDERER.  I know he may not a good example but that's all I can think of right now.  My point is what I said earlier.  I stand ground on it.   

 

Question:   How many sons do you have?  What are YOUR experience raising them?  Are you together with your sons' mother?  Did you come from a two-parent household?  I did.  My significant other did.  And so what I'm saying may be bullshyte to YOU but it's reality to me.  Maybe that's where the miscommuication lies.  Maybe you as a parent aren't there yet.  Cuz if you were?  You would dismiss this BULLSHYTE article as what it is:  CONJECTURE and another negative way to throw all black single women with sons under the bus.   And as far as my comment regarding dysfunction goes?  Again...I'm not trying to CONVINCE you...I'm just sharing what I KNOW to be true from my experience and observation.  You can either accept or not.  Your choice.  And since you're not accepting.  That decision not to is totally on you.  Yet!  It doesn't and will NEVER change a thang I've said.  We will just have to agree to disagree.   But. 

 

+I understand that a two parent home aint always perfect.  Adolf Hitler, G.W. Bush, and the Boston Bomber suspects all come from a two parent household (and i'll say they simply F'ed up as parents!!!)  but by in large, the best home of a child is a functional two parent household, if available.  

 

As for the article, all of the young and old black men I sent it too came back with two main sides: those that felt that the article hit the nail on the head and those that felt that he didn't go in hard enough.  All in the second camp came from a single mother household.  One of my friends talked about how he couldn't understand why his mom didn't like any of his girlfriends and hated his new wife.  From all the years i've known my friend, he always seems to pick nice women that were positive nad supportive girlfriends, but anyway, to his moms, she hated them all.  Basically, his mom didn't like any other woman taking up her son's time and focus.  She basically was using her son as a surrogate boyfriend, i.e. taking her to dinners at nice restaurants, plays, and movies [he was over 30 at the time btw].  to him, the article, expalined why his mom was acting that way and he felt bad for alot of the previous girlfriends, because although they were great women, he dumped some of them at mom's request.

 

As for me...i'm just a happily married man with kids (all from the same woman and born after our wedding date)

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