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Reply to "Ways Single Mothers Destroy their sons"

Originally Posted by RadioRaheem:
Originally Posted by sunnubian:

Damn, so HE is going to project HIS mother's parenting onto all single mothers.


More Black Woman Hating/Black Single Mother Hating in the form of exaggerated assumptions and blanket judgments designed to insult the intelligence, character and image of Black Women, particularly BlackSingle Mothers



 Are single Black mothers above criticism, but Single Black fathers are not?



Please follow Tyler Perry, Michael Baisden, and Steve Harvey on Twitter  if you need pandering.  they get paid millions of dollars to lie to Black women..but this truth stands alone.  

It's not that single Black mothers are above criticism, it's that Single Black Mothers are above criticism that is designed to malign only Black Women, only Black Mothers, only Single Black Mothers.  I don't know any Black Mothers or Single Black Mothers that do all of the things he listed in that article.  I don't know any Black Mothers or Single Black Mothers that are doing either of the things listed in his article that are doing it because they are Black.  What his is doing is no more than the millennium old tactic of men that do not want to accept their part in problems, and that is to put all the blame on women, i.e., "Blame it all on Eve Syndrome". 




Speaking negatively about their father. 
This is not something that only Black mothers do, nor is it something that only Single Black mothers do.  Whether or not a woman chooses to do this depends on the woman, whether married or single, Black or White or any other race. 
Saying negative things about men. 
Who the hell are men that negative things can't be said about them?  Whatever the negative is in a particular man, I'm sure that young males already see it with their own eyes and probably are/would be in agreement with anyone else that saw it or pointed it out or spoke of it.  If the negative is the truth, then . . . ?  What, is it tht Black women are supposed to live in a fantasy world about other human beings if they happen to be men, and then teach their sons to live in that same fantasy world.  Black women do not say anymore negative things about Black men than any other race of women say about the men in their race.  What this writer is doing is the same thing that other races of people do when it comes to Black people/African Americans, and that is to take what he's seen on talk-shows, tv shows, in movies, or the countless internet sites that publish every troll's racist insult and stereotype of Black people, in his case, Black women and acribing it to ALL Black women.  I'm sure that he does not know even two Black mothers or Single Black mothers that do all of the things he has listed, probably not even one.  What he is doing is theorizing what HE believes and writing it as fact, because we all know that in America, one sure way to get published or attention or even political funding, is to say something scathing about Black people, and since there are not enough Black women [married or single, mothers or not] involved in crime and violence to paint all Black females with the same broad brush Black males have been painted with, and that is to go after the Black woman's character, image, virtue, and intelligence, which is such a safe bet, since those things are not tangible, and non-tangible things, while not easliy proven, are not easily disproven either.
Teaching their sons to disrespect their fathers’ authority. 
Now, where are all these Black women/Single Black mothers that TEACH their SONS to disrespect their father's authority.  Or is it really that many Black men have not earned that respect because they have chosen to not be in their sons lives on a regular basis?
Teaching their sons to disrespect male authority and male authority figures.
Where are these Black women that are teaching their sons this?  Or is it in this case, the fact that because of the racist propaganda machine in America, that nearly every male authority disrespects Black men's sons, because they automatically assumes them as either criminals, violent, murdurous theives, rapists, drug dealers, drug addicts and lazy, won't work parasites on society?  Just like what has been done to the image of the adult Black males in America, the image of and stereotypical superstitions about ALL young Black males, is so far out of the hands and his parents, mother, single mother, father, no matter the parenting skills, from jump street.
Projecting anger at the father onto the son. 
Now, this is harder for any parent to do than what people are made to believe, most children instinctively love and respect their own parents, the key word here being "parent", the person who is in their life, showing and proving everyday their love, caring and concern.  But for the parent who is able to sever that natural bond a child has for another parent, it has nothing to do with race and/or socio-economic background, because it is found to happen with every race of people, every income of people, and in cases where the father is able to sever the natural bond and respect a child (son) has for its/his mother.
Not allowing their father to see them. 
This does happen, but it does not happen that often within African American families, it is something that does happen with families of any race in America.  But, the question is, Why does it happen?  It does not happen out of the blue and for no apparent reason.  I personally believe it should not happen under any circumstances short of child abuse, but there are some misguided mothers out that the do this if the father does not pay child support or when the father constantly lies to the child or when the father may be living a life the mother does not want her child exposed to. 
Bringing in substitutes for a father. 
Another thing that is not done ONLY by Black/single Black mothers.  This is something that has been happening in all races of people where the parents find themselves broken up.  Even in most of those cases, I'm not sure that I believe that most women dating or marrying men other than their son's father are "bring in a substitue' for his father, but is just doing what people do that are divorced or single, dating or getting engaged or marrying someone else. 
Coddling their sons. 
Now, this is something that Black mother may be guilty of.  Nowing what is up against the Black male in this country does cause many Black mothers to be overly protective of their Black sons, and for good reason in the grand scheme of things.  However, it may or may not have it backlash or faults, something that can't be known until the Black male is an adult, has never been to prison, has never been beaten nearly to death by a cop, hasn't been murdered by a cop, hasn't been recruited by drug dealers, hasn't joined a gang and commited violence or murder against another human being, hasn't been to prison for stealing, has finished school, has went to college, has a job and stays out of trouble.
Inconsistent discipline. 
Almost ALL parents are guilty of this.  Race, marital status, income or culture has nothing to do with it.
Teaching boys to be emotional. 
Boys that grown up without the ability to control their emotions has nothing to do with growing up in a single parent home or a two parent home.  It has more to do with the personality of the person than anything.  Some people are high-strung, passionate and are likely to not have as much control over their emotions as others, that's just a fact of nature, not nurture.  What other men see as weakness depend on the other men, what women see as weakness depends on the women.  It is not as cut and try as the above phrase indicates. 
Not teaching their sons what boundaries are.
I don't know any mothers out there that care about their child that does not teach the child boundaries.  Boundaries are some of the first lessons a child is taught, even by the most inept parents.   Boys who are taught boundaries growing up also grow up to have restraining orders filed against them, get arrested,  get beaten severely, and get killed  to make them STOP whatever they’re doing.  And what are all these line that Black males raised in single parent homes are crossing that are not being crossed by males growing up in two-parent homes as well?  What are these dangerous unnecessary risks that only Black males from single parent homes are taking that no males from two parent homes are not taking?  Where are all these Black males violating people's personal space, while people's personal space is never violated by males from two parent homes? 
Not teaching their sons coping skills.  
There are boys who grow up in single parent homes and boys that grow up in two parent homes often don’t learn how to cope with the obstacles life throws at them.  Lack of coping skills are found in  many people in general, whether they are from a single parent home or a two parent home, male, female, rich, poor.   Where are all these Black males that don’t grieve, hurt for a while and move on like Real Men do when things like rejection, failure and loss come into their lives ?  Hell, Black males on average have to deal with more rejection, failure and loss than men of any other groups, yet, it is overwhelmingly men of other groups that wind up on some rooftop shooting at masses of people, or setting off bombs to kills random strangers, or wind up going insane or committing suicide.  And just how many Black men are out their 'stalking' their ex-girlfriends and killing them? And when in the hell has it been Black ment that go on shooting rampages when they lose a job; damn, now this writer is making sh!t up. 
Establishing a co-dependent relationship. 
There is no evidence that this is a common occurrence in the Black family dynamic.  I'm sure there are occassions where this may be true with a mother-son relationship where they happen to be Black people, but this is so off the mark with most Black mothers, married or single.  The same goes for "smothering" their sons, often over protective, yes, but not smothering.
Everything he said on this subject is just gross exaggeration, and more of his extrapolating his own upbringing onto ALL Black males and Black mothers and/or Black single mothers.
Trying to run his life.
 Now he is making sh!t up.  Wow.
Last edited by sunnubian