quote:Originally posted by FireFly/art_gurl:
Dear Rowe... it's good to spit it out... all the hurt and anger.
Of course you're angry with her... let it out and try to let it go so you can heal a little.
And before you say STFU FireFly... what does she know...? I've had a very similar event with my sis and she was older and old enough to know better. The event hasn't been resolved, unless you call 'running away' some kind of resolution.
Yours may or may not work out... in my case my sis opted to literally disappear from the family unit... and leave two frail and ill parents grieving for her... so much pain! And so much for being a good christian
Talk to as many people as you can.... let it out, scream, cry, shout whatever it takes. But also feel the love that is in fact all around you... trying to reach you... from others. It's there, and that's what it's there for... to help you heal.
Then maybe when you feel stronger, talk to her again.
"Us" Against "Them"
First I need to apologize to Brother Midlife for responding to him in that way. Obviously, I lost complete control over that response. But I do appreciate your kind words and continued interest in my dilemma. I just have a problem with religious people in general, and I probably always will. Quite honestly, I have a history of experiences dealing with these people, most of them have been traumatizing and negative.
You may or may not be able to relate to this, but Black people are very traditional and religious, so when you grow up in a family that is anti-religious, strongly "Afrocentric," and lives a lifestyle that is very much different from the way most African-Americans live, you get treated like an outsider. And some people can be really cruel. Growing up, I've always had to defend myself and my sister against ignorant friends and family members who could never understand why we were not religious, why we did not attend church regularly, why we were vegetarians and ate "wierd food," why we were not permitted to chemically treat our hair, or why our mother "practiced Voodoo" (which she didn't; they only believed she did because she wears (dred)locks and sports Afrocentric jewelry and clothing all the time). The better part of my childhood was lived fighting against ignorant people who simply could not grasp anything beyond what is being told to them in church! From my experiences, rather than informing people and making the people more conscious and aware, seemingly, attending church only makes the people close-minded, intolerant, and unaware. Therefore, to observe my sister morphing into a religious person by attending church (of all places) regularly and aligning herself with those who I've always considered our enemies, is very disappointing.