Nikcara, I find it interesting that you know the business of your relatives like that, maybe your family is tight and gossip about one another which enables you too know the travels and hard times of your cousins or maybe you made it an effort to keep track of their failure as means of measuring your success. Either way, I can assure you their calling you white girl does not have anything to do with where they have ended up in life and trying to use your position in life relative to theirs as a sign that their taunting and you being on the receiving end of that taunting is what led to yours and theirs respective positions in life today is very foolish.
It appears as if you embrace the idea of being called white because in your mind such is equated with working hard, going to the Ritz, skiing down the slopes in Colorado, being educated etc..
If you are acting or being white it is only in your acceptance of the activities you engage in and the realities surrounding your life being equated to whiteness. As a Black man or woman the natural thing to do is reject the idea that you are other than yourself and put forth the reasons why you are what you are. You however have decided to embrace the idea of you being or acting white if you engage in certain activities and certain realities define your life; that is the tragedy of your life. Being accused of acting white or being called white is a badge of honor for you and that is sad but then again considering how you view those who say these things to you explains why you are ok with being called white or accused of acting white. Simply put, as long as those who accuse you of these things are less educated than you, have less money than you, live in the ghetto, and could not possibly pay one of your bills you don't give a damn. After all, they will never stay at the Ritz, go skiing or be in the National Bar Association.
I don't know you at all but from reading what you have written in this thread, all accusations of you being white and or acting white is probably warranted considering your snobbish attitude, arrogance and elitist view point of your family and others.