Our children are reflections of us. They are much more likely to do what they SEE us do than to do what we say.
They will define themselves as we do.
If we don't, they can't
No one likes being "dissed."
The reaction is visceral. And the violence is visited on who/what one likes least.
For our children it seems to be themselves.
Only we can fix it.
You are who you say you are. Your children are who you say you are.