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Reply to "The Bridge: Black Men & White Women (article)"

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Originally posted by thayfen:
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Originally posted by MidLifeMan:
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Love is love.


But as I said, we oversimplify the issue with the "it's all about love and finding someone to connect with blah, blah, blah. There are fare deeper issues – psychological and social - when looking at interracial relationships.


Excuse me, please... I have issue with "over-simplified" and "Deeper psychological/social" issues.

MLM, do you mean:

1) Love/empathy/trust/loyalty is not relevant in human pair-bonding?
2) People who do not use color-of-skin as leading criteria in the choice of their mates are somehow psychologically deficient?
3) Who are you to dictate this to others?


Like I said, in an ideal world or maybe a fairytale land race wouldn't be an issue. But in the context of the "real world" and this country it has been, and probably will be for a long time.

So love/empathy/trust/loyalty is relevant and I didn't say or imply that they are not,
I never said anyone was deficient and like I said, whatever floats another man's boat so I'm not "dictating "anything to anyone.

And all of the talk about "love should only matter" is, as I said, great in an ideal world. But interracial dating and marriage has its own issues outside of the normal gender issues men and women have IMHO The same can be said of interfaith or intercultural marriages.

I read that when dealing with marriage counseling for interracial couples, that one of the major issues revolves around the white partner being insensitive to the black partner with regards to discrimination. This might be the white partner being dismissive of the black partners claims of racial discrimination at work etc.

Then there are the child rearing issues. What about when the black parent is out with their light skinned almost white looking child? There are those who can share experiences of being "questioned" about their being with the child. What about when the child has to "decide" what race to identify with. Am I black, Am I white. See Tiger Woods for as an example of this issue with interracial or intercultural marriages.

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Example some white women might pick a black man because she was abused by white guys in her previous relationships.


And this is and example of a psychological/social issue Big Grin

So, like I said, if someone is willing and able to deal with this issue – great for them. All I said is that I would never want to deal with those issues and that it's not a simple matter of "finding someone you love so race doesn't/shouldn't matter."
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