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The Black Heterosexual Dilemma

These thoughts are inspired by the blessed intellectual bell hooks.

however, I'm slightly more raw and extreme

I think it's slightly impossible for black men to combat racism and elitism in a white supremacist society, without the aid of the black woman. Black men tend to take the burden of the revolution on by themselves. Black women have another agenda, a revolution of their own so-to-speak, they face the task of exposing patriarchalism, combating sexism, whilest going toe-to-toe, blow for blow with chauvinism. Herein lies the dilemma. POWER and moral TRADE-OFFS are tremendous stumblingblocks that are keeping our society from obtaining and sustaining any responsible growth. I'll attempt to explain what I mean by exposing the matrix.

Black women vs. Black men (Communal Sabotage)
(The first strategic infiltration of the (free) Black family, by the white man)

Generally speaking, (from a societal point of view), black men are closet chauvinist who live and die by patriarchy. Our egocentristic upbringing established by patriarchy gives us a self-assigned power to subordinate and control our households and our women. Generally speaking, black women are controlling pro-feminist who stand vehemently opposed to patriarchalism. Systematically, there is no mutually desirable outcome for either party.

Patriarchalism and feminism are conflicts that originated in the white family. Pre-Post-and During slavery, black women worked. Hard... Of relevance is the fact that even after the emancipation black women volunteered their blood, sweat, and tears to work all day in the fields or cleaning up after white families, in order to 'help' thier husbands provide sustenance for the family. These men were not overpowering, and did not rule the family with a ironfist. Somewhere along the line, black men were enticed into patriarchy. Ironically, black women consented, mainly because they were tired of doing both the nurturing and the back-breaking work, but also because of the love they felt, which didn't give them any choice. As bell hooks states, love and power are antithetical. Our households started out with LOVE; two loving parents who struggled to make sure that EVERYONES NEEDS were met. But they ended up with the IDEA that someone has to be in control. In these households, the woman is loving and nurturing, while the man serves as the command-in-chief, and the final arbiter. If placed in the right hands, this system COULD work, but it is far to easy, for the man to manipulate his woman's love, in order to fulfill his selfish flights of fancies. We can't be manipulative, and loving at the same time.

Women got tired of having their love taken advantage of, so they responded with the extreme idea/concept... FEMINISM. This is where women seek to radically redistribute the POWER that men are clinching on to for dear life.

And now, for the R.Kelly 'Trapped in the closet' twist to this dilemma. Black Power, from a masochistic perspective, is held synonomous with Black Men. As black men, we derive our sexual self-esteem from the societal view that we are powerful brutes with powerful phalluses. Relinquishing the power would be a trade-off of being sexually desirable. Why would we risk being placed back to the bottom of the political, societal, and sexual rung? Obviously, SEX(both physically and gender-wise) is more important to us than revolutionizing the way America approaches race, and views blacks. Honestly, I'd hate to even imagine a reverse in roles, and seeing society shift from black men chasing white women, to black women chasing white men.

<--what did he just say???

For instance,
If black men surcome to some form of feminism, and hold women as equals in the family we take the risk of suffering an even worse fate. White men would then not only hold themselves as the superior race, but then they would be viewed as superior MEN. Can we trust black women to not be enticed by this societal shift? Can we trust them to stay HOME? Or will we hear the fatal words... "I need a REAL man!"?

<--where does he come up with this stuff

I'm just posing a few hypotheticals.

I feel that we can not combat racism without women. But my patriarchical upbringing (my single-parent mom) gives me a certain uneasiness about trusting women.

Can black men TRUST black women to help us in this revolution, and why?
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