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Reply to "something to think about..."

Sandra "Pepa" Denton's remarks does speak to a larger issue in the Black community where a lot of women reject "nice guys" for "bad boys".


Now she regrets it because of where "nice guy" Will Smith ended up career wise that would have probably taken her with him if they dated and it worked out with marriage and children.


Mostly when a nice guy likes a bad girl, it not about sex as a priority but instead, he sees something internally about her that he really likes. Something  the bad girls doesn't see or know about herself.


So the real question for Pepa" is why are you feeling regret now?


Will Smith is still a "good guy" despite his high level of success.


Is it more regretting for her because Will Smith reached the very top of his profession with a highly successful career ($20 million salary per movie) A-List celebrity, multi-millions in the bank and she possibly being "Mrs. Will Smith" today instead of Jada Pinkett Smith who also elevated with him having a successful career, a loving husband and family?


This "nice guy" didn't finish last as expected by society.


About 10 years ago, a cousin of mine then in her early 30's who was about the bad boys (she was a bad girl herself) and a baby daddy who treated her badly while she along with him and all her girlfriends, did the usual drinking, drugs and partying every weekend, met a man who was a "good guy" doctor.


He really like her, was really smitten by her and they dated.


He treated her unlike any man she had ever dated before and he treated her family with the utmost politeness, respect and kindness.


He wasn't overbearing, wasn't controlling, wasn't smothering and did all he could to assist her in any way she wanted and that included his helping her with her young daughter who had special needs. They spent quality time together, traveled everywhere (cruises, different cities etc).


He loved her and wanted to marry her.


She eventually ended the relationship and it baffled everyone to include the boyfriend who could not understand why she all of a sudden, ended it.


When they came over one day, I noticed just how uncomfortable she was being around him because despite everything they did together, she felt totally out of place being with him and she finally admitted to her mother that he didn't do anything wrong but he took her totally outside of the normal element that pointed to her changing who she was with her friends and lifestyle and the things that she was accustomed to that made her happy yet in life, she was seeking and searching for the very things he was presenting to her in a boyfriend and possible husband being a kind and caring person and gentlemen.


She also regrets it to this very day that she ended the relationship and despite that, he still wanted and retains her friendship to this day and will do anything for her.


My "bad boy" older brother had the same problems with a "good girl" because he just couldn't stay out of the streets that had a really strong hold on him.


I went over to their home one day and they were just sitting on the couch watching TV. I never saw someone so "out of place" uncomfortable and so annoyed just sitting next to his girlfriend snuggled up on the couch watching a TV show than him because he wanted so badly to leave and hang out in the streets.