quote:Originally posted by Vox:
... the problem is, you're wrong.
Then tell me when the last time was that you looked for an eligible man to date. Since I am apparently "wrong" about what I see and experience and so are these other sistas. Please, break it down for us and tell us what it is exactly that we run into out there. Clearly, we are all bitter liars inventing fantastic stories so that we can remain single and childless.
quote:Like I said, when I was in a setting in which I'm there and a couple of overtly gay guys are there, and the black women nearby stand there looking THROUGH me at the gay guys and bemoan what they see as proof that all the good men are either dead, in jail, or GAY, then I can and do have a clue as to what black women encounter.
What does that have to do with the price of beans in China? That speaks exclusively to your experience with women. It says ZIP, ZERO, NADA about what is going on with men.
quote:When most of the women I'm initially attracted to have boyfriends, etc... all I'm saying is that there is definitely something else going on than what's being discussed.
Still waiting for that part where you discuss finding men.
You guys have a real problem trying to completely invalidate the experiences of people are are actually walking the walk. It's absolutely infuriating. I don't tell you "Vox, you're wrong. Those women were not looking past you at gay men, you are just too bitter and jaded to see that they wanted your attention." Cut it out. Acknowledge that your road is not everyone else's road and don't presume to make people feel like they are insane/delusional for remarking on the world around them. You do not experience this life the same way that I do.
quote:And in case you overlooked it, I also took men to task for making up excuses for their reported interracial experiences, as well.
I didn't even touch the interracial aspect in my post. The ones that tear down Black women to justify seeking out Becky are doing us all a favor by taking themselves out of circulation. I'm speaking to what's left.
quote:Finally... as for this statement:quote:Qty, girl didn't you know you're supposed to drink the bathwater of any internet yahoo who pays you a compliment on your physical attributes?? Get with it girl!
You uncharacteristically miss my point. The point wasn't that QTY should be delving all into conversation with posters here who compliment her. The point is that if she has devoted 50,000% more of her posts here toward guys who say the types of things she decries about black men, than toward those she doesn't have similar problems with, then it serves as evidence of the direction in which her energies off line lie.
What makes you think that?? I talk about plenty of things online that I don't with my friends or acquaintances. I also encounter viewpoints online that I do not see in real life, so clearly my online energies would not match my offline energies. It's very rare that in real life I would be in a room with a shitload of men talking about the Black woman's dating experience. It's rare that men in real life would be as brazen about some of their opinions about women in real life. There's no directly proportional relationship.
quote:Just like all of the ignorant, loud, dramatic black women seem to be disproportionately in the world of the men who derive some sort of comfort in believing that these are the majority of black women.
Here again you draw a direct paralell between your world as a man and my world as a woman.
quote:For a guy like me, who tends to look inward for his solutions, the loud, ignorant black women never, ever have come into my dating focus. Even during times when you'd think I would be prone to settle, I never focused on them. And believe me, they abound! It would have been EASY for me to do like what you do, and focus on them as the reason for being alone.
This is not about training one's focus on only "the worst." This is men refusing to believe that women describing dating, PERIOD, is accurate. If you meet 10 guys and 9 of them are full of shit and 1 is gay, and you say so, does that mean you are "only seeing the worst" (which is what you all love to say) or describing your dating experience with accuracy (which is what some women are doing)? See what I'm saying?
quote:But just think of the decent women I would have completely ignored, like some men do... You women are doing the same things.
Here again is that parallel where it does not exist. You don't know what we are doing because you don't know what we experience (or you choose not to believe what we say our experience is).
quote:The comment about QTY's lines of text supports THAT idea, NOT the idea that she should be thankful and give play to fools like IronHorse.
Come on, Vox. "You get 50 compliments by strangers on your looks (not even as a person, mind you, but on your looks in a picture on a random website by Lord knows who) and you don't respond. Therefore, you are bitterly looking past good men in your real dating life." Seriously?! Who is to say that men in her real life respond the same way as do these men online? As a matter of fact, I'm positive the sista has spoken numerous times about how her looks are frequently regarded by some of the Black men she meets. But I guess if you choose not believe that women have any clue about their own lives, then you wouldn't pick up on that either. And I'm sure I've seen that sista say Thank You before.