quote:Originally posted by art_gurl:
I don't think anyone is really taking this discussion too personally - I hope.
I hope not, too, but on internet discussion forums, u'd be surprised... (BTW, I think your post where u take my comments one-by-one and comment on them is riddled with gross misunderstandings of what I'm saying. We'll have to address them later, but is there that much of a language barrier between us? For example, when I referred to the guy as a "disgusting freak," I was suggesting that a person would look at him as disgusting for sleeping with 5 total strangers. "Disgusting freak," to black Americans, can mean a number of things, but there was no reference to looks in that example (nor in the whole post), so that whole thing of yours about the guy being ugly or deformed is completely out of left field. And how is the woman who gets 5 yesses being selective, when she went to 10 total strangers and propositioned them? I luv ya & all, but you are grossly misreading my post here...)
However, MBM is right, this "issue" really shouldn't boil down to what "justifies" name-calling. I think the world keeps most of us busy enough that we don't have time for all of that. To me, it's really about what Sistah Souljah alluded to, which is about how one should comport oneself in general. What helped form my opinion on this was once when I was watching some movie or TV show (I think it was Unfaithful, but I'm not sure), when a group of women were congratulating each other about their sexual conquests. One said, "I've bagged me another one," and they high-5'ed each other, as if the woman had accomplished something. This obvious attempt at erasing the "double-standard" struck me as odd. That's when it struck me that there really is a difference. The woman didn't "bag" anything. Most likely, she'll never be in the position where she'll be able to claim a sex partner as some kind of "accomplishment," perverse as that accomplishment may be when even men "manage it."
I never saw myself as much of a prude sexually; this is a guy who doesn't even believe that "fornication" is a sin. But it's clear to me that when a woman conducts her sex life under the mistaken impression that she's combating an unfair double standard when she sleeps with a lot of men, she's operating on terribly flawed reasoning, period. And no matter what names she's called, in the end she's the one who will have to deal with the consequences, if any, from what she's doing to herself.