We are told that whatever we do, we need to do by Faith. If you genuinely believe that going to "visit" with flowers and such would not sit easy with your Self, then don't do it; especially if you know that you really don't want to.
If it is something that you feel will pass in time, then leave it at that. We are told to forgive, but we are not told to do something that will sit uneasy with our souls.
For instance, while I have forgiven people in my life, I have not forgotten what took place and don't seek to ever have it take place again. Sometimes forgiveness means letting the situation go until you can come back to it without letting any emotion hit your heart. That takes longer for some than others.
As long as you are honest about where you are and why you are there, and live by that, you are not condemned.
That tapdance you are doing is something that we all encounter and we dance like that because sometimes our hearts want to tell others where to go and let that be that.
For me personally, I told God, "Look, you already know that I can't stand so and so and you know it will be a long, long while before I can get to the point where I can even look at them without feeling sick to my stomach or a right hand coming up my side to smack the Black off of them.....but I will ReSpect that you would not want me to do or say anything to them that I would not do or say if I knew without a doubt that they were your kid. Please work on my heart so I understand and so I don't condemn myself..."
I think people think this God thing is this holier than thou construct and nothing could be further from the Truth. God knows that people tick us off; He just wants to know that while people will tick us off, we won't get just as stupid as they were. We can't get to a higher place if everybody is tearing each other down...
"Wisdom Is Always A Woman Who's Real!"