Thank you for the honest story. It takes courage, maturity, and some heavy self-esteem to share a tale where you recognize your innocence as well as your guilt. It's not all doom & gloom in the Den and RR is not just an agent provocateur as implied above - sometimes object lessons and the male POV is needed around here. If not provided by men, then by whom (sooner or later, we have to defend ourselves, right? )?
I lived in Charlotte in the late 90's. I found it very difficult to crack the social scene. If you were not a "local", people were very hesitant to engage you for long. If this is/was accurate in your experience,why?