Earth263, I am sorry for your loss. I am glad you had the time with your friend's widow. Death is one of those things that we don't do well in America. Like birth, it is one of the most profound yet common of experiences. Yes, there is sadness there but there are other deep emotions: love, friendship, relief and for those of us who believe in our Lord, there is joy and hope for all eternity. I don't know about you, but life without great joy (and great loss) sounds a little too flat, safe and boring for me.
Your friend was a wise man. There are many things worse than death. Knowing that we have the technology to stay alive by progressively chopping off bits and pieces of ourselves while connected to life support doesn't mean we have to do it. God gave us the ability to develop many marvelous things, but how we use them is why He gave us a heart, a brain and prayer. To choose to no longer pursue treatment is fine.
I wish you peace and strength in the days ahead.
"Unless you're sharing what you have, you don't have as much as you think you do."