It sounds like you're saying men should make their marriage decisions based on what other people think. I disagree. If I love a woman who is committed to a monogamous relationship with me, disease free & honest enough to inform of her past, why should I care what past lovers and other people outside of our relationship think? If I've decided that I'm OK with it, that's all that matters.
I must be leading a blessed (or sheltered) life because I can't relate to your everyday scenario.