quote:Originally posted by RadioRaheem:
I don't think they can answer those questions without sounding like a golddigger. I think what the women here are missing from the man's posting is the women are unwilling to 'grow with a brother'. ... Those brides are willing to go up the 'rough side of the mountain' with a brother. ...that says alot about their character.
DING, DING, DING - We have another winner. I've expressed this in other threads. Everybody can't get the instant dream life (add perfect man/woman & stir ). Yes, it happens, but it's not the norm. Did anybody really read that Ruby Dee quote:
quote:Ruby: "How to ride the rough waves in a relation long enough for the waters to get calm? When does it sink in that overcoming difficult times gets easier with practice? How do you drag some of the good feelings, good times vibrations into the stormy places? To love someone long and deep is a "consummation devoutly to be wished"!... It is day by day, one step at a time. It may not mean two bathrooms, but just some space, some privacy, some area to be alone. ...Unlike the wedding event, that takes place in a day, marriage is a long process that goes on at some level every day for the rest of your life....We have to learn how to live together... I thought I loved you, Ossie, when we got married, but as I see now, I was only in the kindergarten of the proposition. To arrive at love is like working on a double doctorate in the subject of Life." Source: joint biography, pages 430-431
Ruby: "It takes a long time to really be married. One marries many times at many levels within that marriage. If you have more marriages than you have divorces within the marriage, you're lucky and you stick it out." Source: First UU Church of Wausau
Ruby: "A trustworthy marriage has weathered temptation and anger and jealousy, resentment, self-righteousness and a little bit of selfishness. When you get over and get through that, then maybe you can see the light to love." Source: Ossie and Ruby: Is This the Love Affair of the Century? Ebony, 2/99
To me, it's about knowing that things will never be perfect. It's about finding someone you're willing to love & argue with. It's about allowing yourself & your partner to evolve. It's not about picking a ready made package off the shelf. Thanks again for those quotes HB!
I've seen qty226 say that she would like to find a serious partner, even while pursuing a law degree. That man will have to compromise, sacrifice, and grow with her if they are to have long-term success. Perhaps that blue collar man today is the Ph.D tomorrow like HonestBrother. He needs someone willing to grow with him too!
I know it's tough HB - you raise sincere, valid points, only to have them discarded or ignored because you're a man. Stiffen that chin like me & Raheem!
P.S. qty226 - you might really need to leave Tampa! I know plenty of young brothers that would dig a sister like you. Sounds like your environment has you jaded...
P.P.S. I think sometimes women do forget men have feelings as well. If you're too sensitive, you're soft or a punk (Even though sensitivity is supposed to be in ). Couple that with the tendency of some women to always push the envelope of what they will say to a man and you have the tension present in this thread.