My Take on part two..in bold
Great article on the status of black man/woman relationships. I don't think that that is the end of the black man's opinion on this, however. Even though there were a variety of opinions on the subject, most of them seemed little more than simple preferences. And that is what I think all of this boils down to. If I were to date a woman of another race, I would date her because I wanted to, and not make excuses such as "there are no good black women" or "black women dating white men has forced me to date outside the race." I think women of all races should be held to this same standard, because it's not just black women that do this. Black women can find good black men, it's all about whether they want to.
The second thing I have a problem with is this notion of black women being touted as studious, god-fearing saints and black men labeled as cheating, homosexual bums. Anyone who has lived on this Earth long enough (or learned something in that time) knows that saints and sinners exist in every race and gender.
I think the biggest underlying issue at hand here is instead of blaming others for your relationship rut, you need to look inside yourself and figure out why you attract the type of people you do. Another thing to consider is whether you are emotionally stable enough to engage in a new relatioship without punishing the one you're with because of what someone else did in the past. If you never come to terms with this stuff, you will always blame everyone else as to why you are not happy, and you will always have a handy excuse be it AIDS, "down-low", attitude or laziness, to project on the opposite sex of your own race.
By the way, I am a black man who has had many relationsips with black women, both good and bad, but I refuse to use the past as an excuse to do something that I wanted to do anyway.
I am a black woman that married a white man. For me, it was not about color. I didn't set out saying, "I think I'll marry a white man." For me, it had to do with interests. Yes, education did play a part in it as well, but I would say that it was more intelligence. My husband did not go to college, he went to the military, but he is very intelligent. We also have the same interests in theater and music. I have often been asked why I made this decision, and black people have often looked upon me as a traitor, but one thing I can say is that I am happy!
LOVE IS COLORLESS!!!
The Down Low Phenomenon
The fact that this has now surfaced as a topic of conversation does not change the fact that it has always been the case since war-times when men were in such closed quarters for an extended period of time.
so gayness is linked to close quarters?? what about roommates in college? Are they going to be gay because the Resident Life office accidently put them under those conditions?? what about the military??
All you have to do is look at the disproportionate number of black women with AIDS and it is clear that many of them contracted this from a infected black man that she thought was straight.
what about the many black women that got AIDS from drug use? what about the many black women that share the same babydaddy?? what about the black women that prefer to date bad boy [in and out of jail drug dealers]?? Prisons have an HIV rate 8 to 10 higher than the genereal population.
This is not a slap in the face of black women, but moreso is another signal that more and more black men desire not to make a commitment and simply want sex however they can get it. what about the Census proven statistic that 92% of black men marry black women...if 'black men didn't want a commitment, why are so many black men marrying other races in higher numbers than ever before??]Now the men must realize that they are not only endangering their own lives but also those of the women they truly love. A few minutes can't possibly be more desireable than a lifetime of fatal pain. blame, blame, blame...i'm sure glad black women are not taking responiblity of their poor choices...if they did they'd probably be in a deep depression!!
WANT vs NEED of a man
Black women have progressed significantly over the last 25 years through obtaining a better education, being career-focused and taking to heart the song "God Bless the Child That's Got His Own." We are not in NEED of a man for the basics of life, but we do still WANT a man. And most of us prefer a black man to create and complete our family. It is sad that so many women are now choosing to go it alone by having a child without a husband. What most of us still want is a man to admire our inner as well as external beauty; we want a man to share special moments with; we want a man to desire us and appreciate what we have to offer to the relationship. We WANT a man to call our own!!!
***it's funny how some people think that because they have acheived a certain level of "success" that they "deserve" a relationship, totally ignoring that personality, chemistry and attraction has to play a factor in these things as well. SOME people have a tendency to acquire certain things to make up for what they are lacking in other areas (looks, personality, etc.). So then when they finally get all their medals and degrees and gold stars they develop a chip in their shoulder and try to approach people with a bad attitude
If you're really a strong black man, you should be able to deal with a strong black woman.
DEAL WITH?? DEAL WITH?? I thought that people have to 'DEAL WITH' problems in their lives...are black women a 'problem' now??
[Last modified October 1, 2004, 11:10:07][/QUOTE]