1. You can kill your own food.
2. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds.
3. You know stuff about military tanks.
4. You can open your own jars.
5. A five-day vacation takes one suitcase.
6.You can go to the bathroom without a support group.
7. Wedding plans take care of themselves.
8. If a friend forgets to invite you to something, he's still your friend.
9. Your underwear is cheap.
10. If you are 34 and single, nobody cares.
11. Everything on your face stays its original color.
12. You never use the passenger-side brake pedal.
13. Three pairs of shoes are enough.
14. You can watch an entire game without talking and never think, "He must be mad at me."
15. Your friends never trap you with, "So, notice anything different?"
16. You can do your nails with a pocketknife.
17. You don't have to know more than five colors.
18. The same hairstyle lasts for years.
19. You don't have to shave below your neck.
20. Belching can be fun.