quote:Originally posted by Rowe:quote:Originally posted by RadioRaheem:
Many seems to be in the middle of a very bad day. Too many black women simply hate black men and are holding their past relationships against the next man.
So if a lot Black women are having similiar dating experiences, what are we to conclude? Is poor dating experiences something that is unique to Black women? Are Black women just "bad daters?"
I would conclude that many young black women make very poor dating choices early in their dating lives. It seems, like Dr Audrey Chapman*******[link below with highlighted quote] has concluded, that many black women are looking to be a savior in their quest to attempt to try to change a bad boy into a good man..as oppose to starting out with a good man and building from there. She [Dr. Chapman]feels that black women would like to feel that their love can change people...only later to realize, for many much too late, that it can't. Dr. Chapman has stated on her radio show, which is on Howard University Radio saturday morning, that this is one of the main reasons why Black women have the lowest marriage rates of all races of women and, at the same time, the highest out of wedlock birthrate. It seem like she [black women] can find a man [i.e. babydaddy], just not the right one [i.e. marriage material] that will marry them and build a family...which should have been her goal in the first place. It all boils down to Choices...choices. Fortunately, not all Black women are this way and I have met quite a few that have not desired to be 'thugged'...but in the DC area, among the younger black women, those are few and far between. But there is hope
MISTAKE NO. 1
You're chasing the "bad boy" (AKA the wrong man).
Undeniably, the allure of the "bad boy" is real. What hot-blooded Sister wouldn't want to win in the ultimate love challenge--to be the one woman to make a playa grow up and settle down?
Men also recognize the thrill appeal of being "bad boys" as well, according to World Wrestling Entertainment superstar Shelton Benjamin.
"Some women are intrigued by what they really don't understand," Benjamin explains. "Women just like that tough image ... to go for the biggest, the strongest, the toughest, and that's what the bad boys portray." The professional wrestler, who admits that he is a notorious flirt, adds that it's not impossible to tame a "bad boy" if you catch him at a vulnerable moment, and if you have the patience of Job.
HINT: In most cases, you will not be successful taming a "bad boy" unless he's ready to be tamed, says relationship therapist Audrey B. Chapman, author of Seven Attitude Adjustments for Finding a Loving Man. "Shut down your one-woman help clinic for commitment-phobic men," she warns. "Trying to turn them into marriage-minded partners is a waste of your time and energy."