Again, my interest in this topic extends far beyond simply "dating" and "finding a good man." I am interested in how Black men's absence in our communities, families, schools, universities, etc. are impacting African American relationships and communities in general. Individually, everyone needs to "work on themselves," because no one is perfect in that sense. So making such a suggestion is irrelevant. You will need to "work on yourself" until the day you die, as an individual. But the important question is WHAT DOES OUR COMMUNITY NEED? WHAT IS PREVENTING OUR COMMUNITIES FROM PROGRESSING, as a collective unit. Where are the fathers to our children? Why are a disproportionate number of Black boys being tracked in school and placed in special education programs? And consequently, why are a disproportionate number of Black men filling jails and/or lowly positions of employment, and not institutions of higher learning? What do we plan to do about this, together? These are the issues that concern me.
This business about who is blaming who was introduced as a result of some people becoming defensive and feeling as if they are expected to carry the burden of shame for all Black men, when that is not what I (I can only speak for myself) ever intended for male posters to do. I don't fault Black men. I don't think they are worthless. I have had very good relationships with Black men, but I am still very much concerned about our community, especially young Black males in schools.