quote:Originally posted by qty226:
Finding someone that is on the same page as myself.......a friend, willing to work at having a strong relationship, is what i desire. Truthfully, this takes time and effort......and a lot of men are not willing to deal with women, that are on this level. They love to exercise their options........and they have a right to do so. I just dont waste my time, dealing with these type of men.
Also.....lots of relationships are formed in college/grad school. If a man doesnt want to deal with my schedule and educational committment, while im in law school...then again, we are not on the same page.
I believe you are doing things the right way. A man may like the woman and enjoy her friendship but desires a romantic RELATIONSHIP. I do not know what the numbers are, but there are women that understand this and will keep the guy in limbo, as he is hopeful that a relationship will develop. She may or may not have intentions of turning the platonic relationship into a romantic one. There are times that she just wants the friendship and nothing more...however she won't tell the guy because she may lose his attention. If she loses his attention, then it's always "He just wanted sex"...not always true.
If the guy likes her, he may become attached. This IS NOT healthy and it is called ONEITIS. It happens when a guy (this can happen to a woman as well) has eyes only for one person but this person does not want anything more than a friendship. What makes the situation worse is that she may not want anything but a friendship but is actively seeking a relationship with other guys. This is one of the reasons a guy may not be willing to stick with a woman and...although there are guys that like to play around, not every guy is exercising his options.
We can all continue to play the BLAME game but it is not going to solve anything. Every time I read "a lot of men/women this" and "a lot of men/women that." I shake my head and spell/type out the words "ridiculous" on my PDA.