"Today you can go to a gas station and find the cash register open and the toilets locked. They must think toilet paper is worth more than money."
"Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain."
"On the one hand, we'll never experience childbirth. On the other hand, we can open all our own jars."
-Bruce Willis (On the difference between men and women)
"Behind every successful man is a surprised woman." -Maryon Pearson
"I never married because there was no need. I have three pets at home which answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog which growls every morning, a parrot which swears all afternoon and a cat that comes home late at night."
"Mystify people with your intelligence, and if you cant do that, mystify them with your B.S."
We say we love flowers..
yet we pluck them.
We say we love trees..
yet we cut them down.
And people still wonder why
some are afraid..
When told they are loved.
Side note to Oshun...
Pat Robertson is such an azz. Every single time I've tried to hold my nose and watch the 700 Club, I've made it about 10 or 15 minutes before I absolutely must find something less painful to do... like hanging by thumbscrews...