- It seems that money laundering is the cool new thing for conservative big-wigs to do these days. But then, this is what happens when you have poor role-models. I imagine that half of these conservatives would jump off a bridge if Tom DeLay did it first. For shame.
But anyway, Republican fundraiser Tom Noe of Ohio was indicted last week for "illegally funneling $45,400 to President Bush's re-election campaign," according to the Toledo Blade. Mr. Noe allegedly broke campaign finance laws while raising money for Bush in 2004. Comically, he was later named a "Pioneer" by the Bush campaign for raising more than $100,000.
If you're wondering how big a deal this is, the chief of the Justice Department's public integrity section said, "This case represents one of the first and most important examples of this new enforcement posture under the new law and is one of the most blatant and excessive criminal campaign finance schemes we have encountered."
...advice to Mr. Noe: find some friendly interest group to create a TV ad accusing the prosecutor of being a rapacious weasel or a poisonous spider or some other uncomplimentary animal, and then go around complaining about the criminalization of conservative politics. After all, WWTDD (what would Tom Delay do)?
- We all know that the Former Hammer, Tom DeLay (R-Shit Creek), was recently indicted on money laundering and conspiracy charges. But did you know that Mr. DeLay recently suffered a serious concussion? At least, that's what I'm gathering from his bizarre comments last week.
Tom has decided to fight the charges against him by using a tried and true conservative tactic - blaming everybody else. In particular he's been going after the prosecutor Ronnie Earle, and, of course, those nasty mean Democrats who have apparently been engaging in "the politics of personal destruction."
Not that Tom would ever indulge in such activity you understand. Have you seen that TV ad which compares Ronnie Earle to a snarling attack dog? Tom DeLay disapproves of it so much that he's, um, been echoing it's theme wherever he goes.
The theme? "It's not a crime to be a conservative" - which brings us back to DeLay's bizarre comments. Last week he said, "What we're fighting is so much larger than a single court case or a single district attorney in Travis County. We are witnessing the criminalization of conservative politics."
No Tom. What we're witnessing is people waking up to the fact that neo-conservative politics today are criminal. You probably should have figured out that out before you got yourself arrested. Oh well, too late now.