I used to be baffled myself when I thought of this issue, but I soon realized I was giving black women far, far too much credit. Instead of listening to their opinions and whatnot (which is pointless as the majority of our women have only their dysfunctional friends to compare notes with), I pay attention to their actions.
If I meet a somewhat successful sista and see that she's dating a man who in no way shares her outlook on life and/or is doing nothing to add to the relationship outside of digging out her backside, I run...I run my a## off because that is a woman suffering from low expectations and high drama. She wants what she can never have in her life...and that is a man. Most of these women have been looking for what left them and their mothers long ago, an irresponsible man with a big appetite for sex...period. And this is ALL they know because this is all they've seen. These women will NEVER commit to a man that can offer them all the things in life they say they can't live without...because if they did, who would listen to their complaints about the perfect life?
A woman's insecurities are there to make sure she is never happy...period. Black women act like they don't deserve to be happy and with the idiotic decisions they continue to make in their personal relationships, it's a guarantee that most will never reach the state of 'happiness' they holler and scream about.
It's hard to find a black woman who thinks for herself as opposed to a mouthpiece for all unhappy black women. Black women, by their statements, seem to live life through their dysfunctional friends while passing the responsibility of their horrible decisionmaking onto whomever is around at the time. I do believe most black women are intimidated by a professional brother because they themselves are suffering from low self-image and esteem and cannot imagine life without the drama that those conditions breed.