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Reply to "Cognitive dissonance and the black woman"

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Originally posted by nayo:
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Originally posted by virtue:
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Originally posted by detroit1:
Why do so many established black men describe the response and reactions toward them by black women as being negative in nature?

If you were to witness the response and reaction black women give to established brothers, you would observe minimal involvement, no acknowledgement, defensive reflex, contempt type attitudes and even being threatened to some degree.

This contradiction between beliefs and actual actions is even further amplified when these women dismiss or reject the established black man to have relations with the opposite: undereducated and underemployed black men; thus rewarding and reinforcing dysfunctional behavior (washing the feet of unworthy men).

Ever wonder why is it that many black women can't seem to bring themselves to even acknowledge the mere existence of established brothas? Disillusioned; lying to themselves and others about this claimed nonexistence, manipulating and exaggerating the truth to paint a picture of an absolute "bum" black male population. Some sistas will even choose "underemployed black men" as the topic of discussion when conversing with employed black men.
May I? I have an opinion... based off of personal experience....

It is not natural to exist under the thumb of another culture and retain your dignity and peace.....

Our Men are supposed to be ruling in a world that reflects our history, our makeup and our future.....

(Not that sisters are not a part of this---sigh----I'm just focusing on Men for a second)

Many women I know want strong men.... The Alpha male is not always the brute..... he is simply the most powerful..... most powerful mind.... most powerful chess player....

I suspect on some level subconsciously.... some Black women, no matter what the class level.... reject the man that has comfortably settled in a system created by a man... a people.... that have subjugated us.....

The educated man.... has thoroughly engaged himself in this world and is not a powerhouse in this world... but a good contributer.... he may rage against this world in the best of manner... he may fight oppression in this world..... he may fight injustice.... but he's still "comfortable" on some level..... Which means he has succomb to the succor of this world's benefits...

The thug.... has claimed his own identity and makes his own rules in his own world.... no matter how disgusting.... it's his.... his creation... out of nothing... but his.... he has power in this world... though limited... He's the man... not an agitator.... not crying out for help.... not working hard for recognition...


There's pride in ownership.... even if its a shack.... over a deluxe rental.... no matter how hard you make the maintenance men upkeep the apartment.... there's always the sense that you're renting..... subconsciously... perhaps.... they see in the "educated" man.... a rented man..... one that takes good care of the apartment..

This is the perception ...... not shallowly... but deep in our subconscious.... we want a King to match what we feel should be our Kingdom to rule...

I am simply explaining what I hear from some sisters... by no means all.... but these are educated, beautiful women... who think they want an educated man.... but would never say what I just wrote above.... they will think it and act on it..... because there is a part of them.... I hear it..... that admires the intelligence.... appreciates the ambition... longs for the status.... etc. etc.. but is disappointed or disgusted by his perceived lack of "true" power....

good men in this world secure a position that's stable and honorable....

gods create what they desire...

Somewhere these women want a god....

And to many the term is not an unattainable reality...


Awesome post 'Virtue'. I am somewhere in the middle of your 'theory'. Definately not interested in the thug; although I did meet a 'Good Will Hunting' guy several years ago @ Southern U. (Baton Rouge), and I tell you, it was 'touch n' go'; he was a math genius, but had that 'dangerous, 'scary' edge', that my gut instinct threw shade at. Wow! But, I totally get the need/want for not necessarily a God', but someone, who, as you so eloquently stated here:

"I suspect on some level subconsciously.... some Black women, no matter what the class level.... reject the man that has comfortably settled in a system created by a man... a people.... that have subjugated us.....

The educated man.... has thoroughly engaged himself in this world and is not a powerhouse in this world... but a good contributer.... he may rage against this world in the best of manner... he may fight oppression in this world..... he may fight injustice.... but he's still "comfortable" on some level..... Which means he has succomb to the succor of this world's benefits..."""
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excellent!
Thanks! You know you made me think of another example.... If you saw the movie "Crash" there is a scene where Terrence Howard's character's wife is molested by a police officer in front him..... and he does nothing and feels powerless..... They are obviously well to do.... upper middle class....

There's also a scene where Matt Dillon's character saves Howard's wife.... after she has been degraded by him... and watched as her husband was emasculated before him..... it was He that "saved" her from a car crash... He risked his life to do it.....

Howard's reaction is to rage against society.... but it's too late really.... the damage is done...

Interesting....

Successful Black Man-- Emasculated....
Lower class White Man-- Image of a Hero...
Thug-- What the frustrated and powerless Black Man becomes to "feel" like he has control over his destiny.....

Ask Terrence Howard's character if he thinks that just rising to the top of this society is enough....

And I'm simply speaking from my experience with women who feel the same way....

You happened to bring up a topic I discuss often....

Peace,
Virtue
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