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Reply to "Cognitive dissonance and the black woman"

Originally posted by ocatchings:
Originally posted by qty226: is another perspective. After talking with friends/family, it seems that 'some' black women are fearful of educated, established black men.
These are men with financial power in the community. The community looks up to these men, and they have the ability to hurt, and discard those in their circle. (friends/lovers, etc)
A lot of women are defensive.....and will put up a wall, (not giving this type of black man a chance), because either she has experienced this or has seen this happen to other women.
Thats my two cents

Very interesting. Are you saying they (some black women) would rather deal with a thug than a percieved sucess? Why do they not fear the thug when that lifestyle seems to have more dangers associated with it? Is there a feeling of not measuring up to set/certain standards?
I have not heard of sucessful blackmen discarding women " just because" or as a means to increase power.

Sorry for so many questions but this is really an interesting theory/observation.


There are so many different 'types' of men, that women shouldnt deal with. A thug is just one of many.

With that being said.......most women, look for men that are financially stable, and able to support a home, family, etc. As virtue mentioned, these educated black men have degrees, and can move into well paying jobs. A lot of these brothers actually use their established lives, to pull women/friends. Their status, in the community is above all others.

Since women find this attractive (especially those women, who has worked to have in life).....a lot of women 'line up' for their attention and these men abuse this situation. Their behavior is brash, and unappealing.

You now have, a lot of sistas that have seen this process, or been a part of it...........and when meeting an educated brotha, she has negative feelings, and doesnt want to deal with him. Therefore that wall is standing there....

Example. I work as an intern. The second i meet a nice guy, and he tells me hes an attorney.......i get this sick feeling, that hes 'after' something, or he will mistreat me.......and i move on, because of this fear.

I guess women, have to make sure that we dont put all educated men in one bucket, but its hard. Frown

Again.....this is just my opinion. Smile