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Reply to "Cognitive dissonance and the black woman"

Originally posted by ddouble:
The ultimate conflict I see in the scenario you describe is this:

To be willing to forge your own path, you (and by extension your family) have to be willing to sacrifice ALL of the trappings of traditional, established society. Go back and review some of the threads here about marriagable men. Number 1 & 2 criteria on most lists are income stability (ability to take care of his family) and a love of learning (manifested through college degrees). To want a man that bucks the system to make his own way, typically means foregoing 1 & 2, at least for some period of time. Are women prepared to sacrifice the stability of 1 & 2, to have a king who set the rules, a god who creates what he desires? I don't know, just positing the question.
Aaaaahhhh Ddouble.... you are opening Pandora's box with me.... I tried not to interject too much of my own views in this topic.... but it's really hard to.... I wanted to open others up to a view that they may not be privy to.....

Also, my experience is different from Qty's whose experience with women is that they are "intimidated" and "insecure" around the educated successful brother..... while my experience is that the women I'm around tend to view them as "weak" in some way....

Bottom line.... The questions you ask are valid ones....

Financial stability is achieved for many women who embody the thug life.... it's through illegal means... but many send their childrend to private school and live a middle class as others do...... you'd never know though.... however if you ask about physical security... and legal security... well....they'd probably give you a blank stare and not even try to justify it.... but say that that's the price you have to pay.... but that's only one sister I know.... the rest don't get that involved with a thug.... he's a fling... (Lawd! No! I don't hang around hussies.... just happen to know a few on the DL laugh)

As far as learning goes.... Oh... My.... Goodness..... Please don't hate me for saying so.... but the most interesting and intellectual and thoroughly engaging conversations I have ever had were with brothers who read on their own.... hang out with professors and challenge them constantly.... but that's just reading and observing.... but it does have flavor....I tend to love meeting "Good Will Hunting" types.... there is a wordly insight that comes with their genius and an edge... that can't be beat.....

That's just me.... ummmm they would say... they don't care.... that's not why they got with them in the first place....

** Oh by the way.... you do know that in history there are many accounts of women who not only stay with men who buck the system and sacrifice mightily for it.... but initiate it.... there are many women that deem the goal worth it all..... However it's easier to see where you stand when your oppressor is hurting you openly..... harder to do when he's allowing you some footing......*** That's my revolutionary two cents

---though I'm not equating "real" struggle with a thug life.... just that the mentality of some woman who wants to sacrifice is there in the same degree that it is with the thug whom she is with.... You have to understand what I'm referring to here is the crumb of power that these sisters are trying to hold on to.... because they see it no where else.... That doesn't make it worthy or something we should follow.... but it does exist... so its a kind of thinking we should know about....